In other news... (humorous news items)

Seen something interesting in the news or on the intertubes? Discuss it here.

Moderators: Zamfir, Hawknc, Moderators General, Prelates

User avatar
Yablo
Posts: 557
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Thu May 17, 2018 9:36 pm UTC

elasto wrote:Guess it's pragmatic!

Definitely, and I guess Kelvin isn't such a bad name to have. I mean, it could have been Melvin or Kefin (no offense to any Melvins or Kefins here). It reminds me of how Oprah's name was Orpah, but no one pronounced it correctly.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

Mutex
Posts: 1310
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:32 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Thu May 17, 2018 9:44 pm UTC


She called him Kelvin? I see absolutely zero problems with that.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3281
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Thu May 17, 2018 11:07 pm UTC

When I saw that, earlier, I thought that maybe the kid needs to get a "Mun" heart-and-scroll tattoo when he gets older, or whatever the Swedish equivalent would be. ;)

User avatar
Yablo
Posts: 557
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Fri May 18, 2018 5:04 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:

She called him Kelvin? I see absolutely zero problems with that.

Yeah, no objection to the name at all, though I do think changing a kid's name when he's 5 is a bit rough. My son will be 3 in a few weeks, and there's already no way he'd go for a name change.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

Mutex
Posts: 1310
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:32 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Fri May 18, 2018 5:06 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:
Mutex wrote:

She called him Kelvin? I see absolutely zero problems with that.

Yeah, no objection to the name at all, though I do think changing a kid's name when he's 5 is a bit rough. My son will be 3 in a few weeks, and there's already no way he'd go for a name change.

TBH I was just making a pun.


The Kelvin temperature scale starts at "absolute zero".

SuicideJunkie
Posts: 238
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:40 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby SuicideJunkie » Fri May 18, 2018 5:20 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:I think you are confusing it with the comic about ... ... ... .
Hmm.
I scored 50% on that test without looking anything up. I'm curious as to where I fit on the curve.

User avatar
Zamfir
I built a novelty castle, the irony was lost on some.
Posts: 7418
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 2:43 pm UTC
Location: Nederland

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zamfir » Fri May 18, 2018 6:49 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:When I saw that, earlier, I thought that maybe the kid needs to get a "Mun" heart-and-scroll tattoo when he gets older, or whatever the Swedish equivalent would be. ;)

That's the true KSP spirit. Now, if he also changes his name to Kerbin.

User avatar
Yablo
Posts: 557
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Fri May 18, 2018 9:33 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:
Yablo wrote:Yeah, no objection to the name at all, though I do think changing a kid's name when he's 5 is a bit rough. My son will be 3 in a few weeks, and there's already no way he'd go for a name change.

TBH I was just making a pun.

Yeah. I caught it after I posted. I've put a lot of effort into training myself not to recognize puns, but it rarely works.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

User avatar
Sableagle
Ormurinn's Alt
Posts: 1648
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 4:26 pm UTC
Location: The wrong side of the mirror
Contact:

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Sat May 19, 2018 7:05 am UTC

Zamfir wrote:
Soupspoon wrote:When I saw that, earlier, I thought that maybe the kid needs to get a "Mun" heart-and-scroll tattoo when he gets older, or whatever the Swedish equivalent would be. ;)

That's the true KSP spirit. Now, if he also changes his name to Kerbin.

Kerbus, Kerbam, Kerbin, Kerbae, Kerbata, Kerber, adjective Kerbal, adverb Kerbally.
He should train as an astronaut.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

User avatar
Coyne
Posts: 1022
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:07 am UTC
Location: Orlando, Florida
Contact:

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Sun May 20, 2018 10:05 pm UTC

Change-of-address scam moved UPS corporate headquarters to tiny Rogers Park apartment, feds say

Federal court papers unsealed last week revealed an astonishing but ultimately bungled scheme to file a change-of-address form claiming that shipping giant United Parcel Service had moved its headquarters from a bustling business park in Atlanta to a tiny garden apartment.

Not only did the change go through, but it also took months for anyone to catch on.


Really? Three months? No one noticed the mail wasn't coming to UPS headquarters for three months? That's really minding the store, folks.
In all fairness...

User avatar
addams
Posts: 9856
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:44 am UTC
Location: Oregon Coast: 97444

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Sun May 20, 2018 11:16 pm UTC

OK.
You win.

That's funny.
It takes Trumpian Balls to set up a Company and cash UPS Checks.

Poor Guy.
He forgot about the, It's not What but Who you know."
He forgot to have friends in High Places.

Three months??
That, Dear Posters, is a lot of Mail.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

User avatar
Yablo
Posts: 557
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Tue May 22, 2018 5:53 pm UTC

Proud mom left humiliated after Publix censors her son's 'Summa Cum Laude' graduation cake for profanity.
My mother had no idea what that was! I think me having to explain it to her was the worst part!!

I would have just told her the --- was Morse Code.

... and also ...

Power outage and zombie alert for residents of Lake Worth and Terminus.
There are now far less than seven thousand three hundred and eighty customers involved due to extreme zombie activity. Restoration time uncertain.

I find it interesting that the danger threshold for zombie activity in the Lake Worth, FL area is 7,380. I also find it a little ironic that a town called Terminus is worried about a zombie apocalypse.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3281
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Tue May 22, 2018 9:14 pm UTC

Sweden prepares for war, or other disaster. Zombies not explicitly mentioned, but maybe salmon balls are an alternative to headshots?

User avatar
Coyne
Posts: 1022
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:07 am UTC
Location: Orlando, Florida
Contact:

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Tue May 22, 2018 9:29 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:...town called Terminus is worried about a zombie apocalypse.

I'm all disappointed now. I was thinking planet Terminus and zombies, you know, Foundation series.
In all fairness...

User avatar
addams
Posts: 9856
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:44 am UTC
Location: Oregon Coast: 97444

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue May 22, 2018 9:33 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:Sweden prepares for war, or other disaster. Zombies not explicitly mentioned, but maybe salmon balls are an alternative to headshots?
ummm....I think you may have posted in the Wrong Thread.
That shit's not funny.

That is as Dark and Chilling as a Northern Winter Night.
I kept following links, Sweden spots Fake News; Sweden has Fake Documents submitted; Sweden find Russian Sub in her water.

(crap!)Europe does Not want War!
She knows well, that is a Losers Game.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3281
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Wed May 23, 2018 12:13 pm UTC

addams wrote:
Soupspoon wrote:Sweden prepares for war, or other disaster. Zombies not explicitly mentioned, but maybe salmon balls are an alternative to headshots?
ummm....I think you may have posted in the Wrong Thread.
That shit's not funny.

More linked by theme than by common levity, I'll grant you.

Never mind. Here's a funny one!

edit: No wait this backtracking retraction of stated intent is hilarious!

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8072
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zohar » Wed May 23, 2018 2:11 pm UTC

Israel won Eurovision and it is shaping up to be a political nightmare, of course. The Eurovision board or whatever hasn't announced the exact location of the competition yet (Jerusalem vs. Tel Aviv is a big deal) because, well, there's an actual process for this. In the meantime the ministry of culture and the ministry of communication are trying to call all the shots.

The Israeli ministry of culture responded to this in such a ridiculously disrespectful manner that I wish I could do justice to it in translation. I'll do my best:

"All of this is bullshit. Everyone knows we'll lead an international event at the highest level and according to the European Broadcasting Union's demands. The <Israeli broadcasting union> needs to stop trying to screw us over. The two ministries will create a leadership team as agreed upon with the prime minister and accepted by the two ministers"

The original article is in Hebrew, here.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
CorruptUser
Posts: 9873
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed May 23, 2018 2:53 pm UTC

But it was held in Jerusalem in prior years...

User avatar
Grop
Posts: 1927
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:36 am UTC
Location: France

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Grop » Wed May 23, 2018 2:57 pm UTC

This is the funniest part about Eurovision: no country wants to host it. Hence all the trolls not really trying to win.

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8072
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zohar » Wed May 23, 2018 3:09 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:But it was held in Jerusalem in prior years...

In 1978 Israel was in the midst of intense peace negotiations with Egypt. In 1979 Israel and Egypt just signed the peace treaty. In 1999 a left-leaning prime minister was just elected and there were no notable attacks on Palestinians by Israel. In 2018 we have a PM and government who's strongly against Palestine, the US is actively promoting its relationship with Israel at the expense of Palestinian lives, and dozens of Palestinians were killed by IDF in the biggest attack in a decade.

Israel is not in a great situation, politically.

As for Jerusalem hosting it - well, it's considered an honor, and a city whose population and leadership consistently ignore or actively deride the spirit of Eurovision and its fans, maybe it shouldn't host it this year.

At least, that's what a lot of voices are saying.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
addams
Posts: 9856
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:44 am UTC
Location: Oregon Coast: 97444

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Wed May 23, 2018 4:48 pm UTC

Grop wrote:This is the funniest part about Eurovision: no country wants to host it. Hence all the trolls not really trying to win.
From what I understand, this is becoming a problem for the Olympics, too.
It costs a ton of money to be the Host Country and the Olympic Panel expect to live like Kings.

A Clip about the Olympics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7aN1WjwiQk

Same S%$t;
Different Clip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-rBxNHd2fI

Another, (sigh...):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bXJGZgR1BU
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8072
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zohar » Wed May 23, 2018 5:30 pm UTC

The Olympics usually cost a whole lot more than Eurovision does. Eurovision is a much smaller event and it's not a uniformly bad decision to host it.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
CorruptUser
Posts: 9873
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu May 24, 2018 3:28 pm UTC

NO!

Eight women accuse Morgan Freeman of sexual harassment

Who will we find out is a bastard next? Ron Pearlman? John Cena? Keith David? Tom Kenny? Mr Rogers?

Mutex
Posts: 1310
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:32 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Thu May 24, 2018 3:48 pm UTC

On a much less serious note... didn't this thread have an "etc" in its title? Am I going mad? Wasn't it "(humorous news, etc)"?

User avatar
HES
Posts: 4858
Joined: Fri May 10, 2013 7:13 pm UTC
Location: England

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby HES » Thu May 24, 2018 3:51 pm UTC

Until Nov 2016, apparently. Took me this long to notice.
He/Him/His Image

User avatar
CorruptUser
Posts: 9873
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu May 24, 2018 6:43 pm UTC

Also whoops. Thought this was the darker news thread.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3281
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Sun May 27, 2018 12:35 am UTC

Swinger given sweet release by several people in fire-fighter uniforms. (VSFW - Though there is a graphic picture at the end of a couple of them screwing afterwards, while someone who might be the one they gave relief to stands to one side and just watches.)

User avatar
addams
Posts: 9856
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:44 am UTC
Location: Oregon Coast: 97444

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Sun May 27, 2018 12:40 am UTC

Yep...That's funny.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

User avatar
Link
Posts: 1341
Joined: Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:33 am UTC
Location: ᘝᓄᘈᖉᐣ
Contact:

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Link » Wed May 30, 2018 5:35 pm UTC


User avatar
Thesh
Made to Fuck Dinosaurs
Posts: 5978
Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:55 am UTC
Location: Colorado

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Thesh » Wed May 30, 2018 7:31 pm UTC

Dude, too soon.
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

User avatar
sardia
Posts: 6175
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:39 am UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby sardia » Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:52 am UTC

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/11/busi ... ables.html
Holy shit, solar roads, I thought this was deemed really stupid?

User avatar
addams
Posts: 9856
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:44 am UTC
Location: Oregon Coast: 97444

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:36 am UTC

sardia wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/11/business/energy-environment/china-solar-roads-renewables.html
Holy shit, solar roads, I thought this was deemed really stupid?
Huh....? I still think they are better on rooftops.
(Shrug...) Who knows? This maybe the roadway of the future.

I think Parking lots should have solar panels providing shade in Summer and relief from precipitation in Winter.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 6254
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ucim » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:02 am UTC

sardia wrote:I thought this was deemed really stupid?
When has that ever stopped anybody?

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
heuristically_alone
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2016 7:43 pm UTC
Location: 37.2368078 and -115.80341870000001

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby heuristically_alone » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:03 am UTC

Someday we'll learn to control the weather and we won't even need rooftops anymore.
Bow gifted by adnapemit.

We'll win, but not everyone will get out

:idea: = Surprised Cyclops

User avatar
Sableagle
Ormurinn's Alt
Posts: 1648
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 4:26 pm UTC
Location: The wrong side of the mirror
Contact:

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:40 am UTC

ucim wrote:
sardia wrote:I thought this was deemed really stupid?
When has that ever stopped anybody?

Jose

March 2003. We talked our governments out of invaaaah no we didn't.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

User avatar
HES
Posts: 4858
Joined: Fri May 10, 2013 7:13 pm UTC
Location: England

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby HES » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:20 am UTC

sardia wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/11/business/energy-environment/china-solar-roads-renewables.html
Holy shit, solar roads, I thought this was deemed really stupid?

"Solar freakin' roadways" was bullshit from the start. There have been other small scale trials of more sensible concepts on low-trafficked roads, but the fundamental point remains that whatever solar tech you have, it's better on a roof than on a road.
He/Him/His Image

Tyndmyr
Posts: 10842
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 8:38 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Tyndmyr » Tue Jun 12, 2018 1:16 pm UTC

sardia wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/11/business/energy-environment/china-solar-roads-renewables.html
Holy shit, solar roads, I thought this was deemed really stupid?


Oh yes, a number of us mocked it quite some time ago on here. But essentially the same article keeps getting published here and there, talking about all the supposed potential.

Not the first pie in the sky idea that keeps going despite all indications that it's stupid, probably won't be the last.

User avatar
CorruptUser
Posts: 9873
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:16 pm UTC

I still think it's a stupid idea. A solar panel isn't placed flat on the ground, it's placed at an angle to get maximum sunlight. A solar panel is also a rather delicate piece of machinery that, even if it can handle the direct vertical force of several tons of truck and car, isn't going to able to handle the horizontal forces of cars braking and accelerating on top of it. It'd be much cheaper to put the panels right next to the road instead. Hell, it'd be better to place the panels on stilts above the road. These initiatives resemble a photo-op and propaganda more than anything else. China has a lot of desert; cover that in panels first, use high voltage DC to transport the electricity hundreds of miles with almost no transmission losses, and call it a day.

User avatar
sardia
Posts: 6175
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:39 am UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby sardia » Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:56 pm UTC

So no new breakthroughs? It's confusing because the article implied that it's this new improved thing. I guess it's the elevated China bus all over again?

Tyndmyr
Posts: 10842
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 8:38 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Tyndmyr » Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:58 pm UTC

It looked like they were aimin' for a trial road, but that was pretty much the same thing being sought before so...mostly same same?

Yeah, pretty much like the megabus in practicality.


Return to “News & Articles”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests