Think Before Naming Your Child

[acousticcarnival]

Two things urged me to post this:
1. I heard Matthew Macaughaney (not going to take the time to spell check that) named his kid "Placenta"
2. A friend recently had a baby and named it "Cash"

Number 1 is obviously poor, and hopefully not true.
Number 2 is problematic for 2 reasons.

1. I told my friend not to do as my parents did to ME and give his child a first name whose final consonant sound matches the first consonant sound of the last name. For instance, my name is Rob Baxter {not my real last name, but similar]
When trying to pronounce such a name, without using extreme enunciation, you get Rah Baxter or Rob Axter.

2. Baby Cash has the last name Slone. So now that poor child will be called Cash Loan for the rest of his miserable life.
AND I EVEN WARNED HIS FATHER!

Has anyone else heard of such poorly thought out names?

[GhostWolfe]

I heard Matthew Macaughaney (not going to take the time to spell check that) named his kid "Placenta"

His son is named Levi Alves McConaughey. He did however recently bury the placenta from his son's birth after witnessing a "placenta tree" in Australia.

/angell

[Poochy]

This one's an urban legend, so take it with a grain of salt, but I once heard of a couple who allegedly gave their son the middle name "Konsento" thinking it sounded cool. What they didn't know was that it's the Japanese word for "electric outlet".

Then, of course, there's the infamous urban legend about a child named Shi'Thead, and a couple examples from Freakonomics:

Amcher - named for the Albany Medical Center Hospital Emergency Room
Temptress - her parents misspelled "Tempestt" (as in actress Tempestt Bledsoe)
Loser - 'nuff said.

Edit: This reminds me, I have to remember in the future to give my kids the middle name '); DROP TABLE Students;--

[liza]

I think this one's been mentioned before, but Shiloh Pitt is a pretty dire spoonerism. Nicholas If-Jesus-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon was dealt a pretty bad hand, and I once knew a girl named Surreal. One of her middle names was a colour, and one was a shape.
Relevantly: Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing.
Edit: and you can't forget the Zappas: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.

[4=5]

on of my teacher's last is Placentia

[Benfrenchman]

I read about a Chinese couple that wanted to name their child '@'. Apparently it's read in much the same way as 愛, 'love'. Oh, and a New Zealandish couple that wanted to call their kid '4Real'.

My family has a book of baby names, called 'Name Your Child', written by one Eric Patridge. However, the unfortunate layout of the front cover makes it look like this:

NAME YOUR CHILD
eric patridge


A bit arrogant, I thought.

[Puck]

There is a kid at the local elementary school named "Thaddeus". Okay, a little Biblical, but a decent name.

His twin brother is named "Daddeus".

[ewige]

I keep imploring my friend to name his daughter "Megatron".

She can go by "Meg" and when people ask her if it's short for Megan, she can either talk about what a boner her father is, or how no, her name is in fact way more awesome.

Either way, she has a conversation starter for life.

[steewi]

I occasionally have a liking for a particular name, and would consider naming a child with it, until I think about it further.

I continue to think that Rubella (f), Chlamydia (f), Salmonella (f) and Psoriasis (m) would make good names, if it weren't for the diseases associated with them. I also associate names of fictional characters I like with good names. Unfortunately, reading speculative fiction doesn't help with good naming. I refuse to be the type who would name their kids Bilbo, Drizz't, Galadriel and Mononoke.

[JayDee]

My family has a book of baby names, called 'Name Your Child', written by one Eric Patridge. However, the unfortunate layout of the front cover makes it look like this:

NAME YOUR CHILD
eric patridge

That is fantastic!

[plumlinden]

When my Grade 11 Chemistry teacher was pregnant, we went through the Periodic Table to find a name for her son. Unfortunately, Boron was the best we could do. However, in Grade 12, my Chemistry teacher that year had a daughter, and I tried to convince him to name her Antimony. He wouldn't, but her name ended up being the same as mine. I guess I can live with that. But it would've been cool.

[TiPerihelion]

There is a kid at the local elementary school named "Thaddeus". Okay, a little Biblical, but a decent name.
His twin brother is named "Daddeus".

My history prof in high school was named Thaddeus. He liked to proclaim that if he ever had a couple of sons, he'd name them Balthazar and Agamemnon.

As for Daddeus...that's awful.

[Hayden]

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[tiny]

In Germany you can't just make up a name for your kid. But that doesn't keep parents from giving stupid names, because they often fail to consider the effect of their family's last name...
I'll translate them:
Rosa Schlüpfer - Pink Panty
Axel Schweiß - Armpit Sweat
Rainer Hohn - Sheer Mockery
Anna Bolika - ...
Adolf Abstreiter - Adolf Denyer
Adolf Führer - ...
Rosa Gelb - Pink Yellow
Marion Barion - ...

There's a second way for German parents to give their children stupid names. They choose perfectly ordinary, but foreign names... and then they pronounce them wrongly... Like:
Justin - Tshusdin
Chantal - TSHUN-tull
Jennifer - Tshennifa
Nicole - NICK-oll
Pascal - PUS-cull
And then there was poor little Yves, who was called Üwes.
It's really painful to witness.

[acousticcarnival]

There is a kid at the local elementary school named "Thaddeus". Okay, a little Biblical, but a decent name.

His twin brother is named "Daddeus".

Nooo! I'm a high school teacher and I have seen some creative names.

One poorly thought out one is that of Ashleigh Cheek. She most often goes by "Ash."

Luckily "Ash Cheek" was not ugly.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Happy Apple Bluefeather.

That's right... her first name is "Happy".

[acousticcarnival]

As a High School English teacher, my ex-girlfriend and I, who was also an English teacher often played the "What would we name our child game."

We thought "Ela" would be cool for a girl and just not tell her it's short of "English Language Arts," our college Majors.

[0xDEADBEEF]

Our kiddo was in Pre-K with a Viet kid named "Tuat," (pronounced "Too-at." ). To bad the old lady schoolmarm always pronounced it "Twat!"

[Gingerbreadman]

We have a family friend who told us that he has a friend (hearsay perhaps, the guy can sometimes be a joker) who named their child Abcde, pronounced Absidee. Now, out loud it's not bad, but the creatively uncreative spelling makes me wince.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Let's see.... my wife is in a lot of AP grouos and child playgroups with our kiddies, and here's some:

"Jasmine" spelled, she insists, with two 'y's, but I'm not sure how
Kimberli
"Roger" spelled with an 'a', so I can only imagine it would be "Rager"...

[lira_riu]

As I grew older, I became frustrated that my mother did not use her opportunity to name any of her kids with the initials DNA or RNA -- she and my dad are both chemistry teachers, but both of my brothers and I are no where near : JTA, KRA, PCA. Oh well. I, unfortunately, will most likely not have the same chance.

[phlip]

"Jasmine" spelled, she insists, with two 'y's, but I'm not sure how

"Jaysmyn"? Maybe?

"Roger" spelled with an 'a', so I can only imagine it would be "Rager"...

"Rogar" would fit the pronounciation better...

But yes... both still horrific... I feel like my hands need clensing after typing them...

[GhostWolfe]

The one that will always stick in my mind, and that I feel compelled to drag out everytime the "naming" discussion happens is:

When I was working in a call centre, I took a call from Ufuk Dik. I kid you not, that's how they spelled it out for their account contract.

/angell

[Glade]

I'd be sorely tempted to make their middle name Danger, if only to give them a cheesy line for life.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

I can't believe I forgot to mention this...

MY NEPHEW'S MIDDLE NAME IS DANGER!

[acousticcarnival]

I can't believe I forgot to mention this...

MY NEPHEW'S MIDDLE NAME IS DANGER!

Going back to the opening post, I can't believe I forgot to use my screen name as an example of the "Cash Loan" "Rah Baxter" rule for NOT naming a child. Acoustah Carnival, Acoustic Arnival

[Moo]

So what is the general consensus on naming a boy "Indiana"? Hubby and I both love it but get a lot of criticism from people who are just no fun. We do have "normal" back up names, we'll probably end up going with those.

We just cannot find a girl's name we like. We have a few rules like it has to sound good before "Brown" (nigh impossible!) and ending in an a sound. I've told this in LSR but I'll recap for the lulz; after watching Wall-E we were like "Eva! Yes, it's perfect!". Until I said the whole thing. Eva Brown. He still thinks it's not that bad!

Now we still don't have one we like . I just IMed him with ewige*'s brilliant Megatron proposal (I've always loved Meg, even if it doesn't end in a) but he says he's more of an Optimus kind of guy.


edit: To summarize
Do you think naming a boy Indiana (after the movie character, not the state) is cruel? Also, moderately funny anecdote regarding a girl's name (we ended up rejecting). Not looking for girl name suggestions.


*that totally means "eternal" in Afrikaans.

[protocoach]

I also associate names of fictional characters I like with good names. Unfortunately, reading speculative fiction doesn't help with good naming. I refuse to be the type who would name their kids Bilbo, Drizz't, Galadriel and Mononoke.

I do the same thing, but fortunately, the stuff I read/watch has some names I could actually use: Arya, Kaylee, Yorick. I think you could get away with Mononoke, but it'd be difficult to explain if you're very clearly non-Asian.

[ewige]

So what is the general consensus on naming a boy "Indiana"?

Probably not the general consensus, but I dig it, quite.

[acousticcarnival]

So what is the general consensus on naming a boy "Indiana"? Hubby and I both love it but get a lot of criticism from people who are just no fun. We do have "normal" back up names, we'll probably end up going with those.

We just cannot find a girl's name we like. We have a few rules like it has to sound good before "Brown" (nigh impossible!) and ending in an a sound. I've told this in LSR but I'll recap for the lulz; after watching Wall-E we were like "Eva! Yes, it's perfect!". Until I said the whole thing. Eva Brown. He still thinks it's not that bad!

You're actively looking for a girl's name? I like Ella, Emma, they both end in the "a sound." If you want to be geographical and still preserve the "A" sound I would pick "Dakota" over Indiana.

I like Harper for a girl, as in To Kill an Mockingbird, Harper Lee.

Personally, if I had a boy and a girl I would name them "Boy" and "Girl" respectively. Simple, clean, to-the-point, practical.

[Moo]

Thanks for the input. Sadly we are really weird and those aren't the only rules.

Also, Indiana would really not be named after the state.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

So what is the general consensus on naming a boy "Indiana"?

We named the dog Indiana...

[Moo]

MJ, that is the only fear for the child, that they will get that all their lives (providing their generation loves Indy as much as we do to be quoting it off by heart). I just have to decide whether that outweighs the awesomeness of being named after Indiana Jones.

[ewige]

I also have a propensity for thinking positively about fictional character names. As such, I do enjoy "Lyra" as a girl's name.

But that would have to be my hypothetical second daughter, after Meg.

[Mighty Jalapeno]

Just give him a little hand-held tape recorder with a permanently looped tape of Sean Connery saying, "We named the dog Indiana...", and tell him to tell everyone that if they can't sound as cool as Mr Connery when they insult him, then it's not gonna work.

[Moo]

[Eruantale]

I've come across some pretty interesting names of people purchasing airline tickets while filing for my dad: Candi Kane and an Isaac Newton. The best one ever was two traveling together: Peter Pan and Robin Hood. I kid you not. I wanted to keep the paper.

A lady I worked with in ES was Barbara Pribble, which isn't really a problem expect that it is hard to say fast.

[4=5]

I've got it moo "Rosa Bown"

and honestly eva brown adds character

[GhostWolfe]

So what is the general consensus on naming a boy "Indiana"?

We named the dog Indiana...

Ninja'd <3

Actually, I like Indiana as a girl's name as well, especially as a somewhat ass-kicking nerdy girl's name.

/angell

[JayDee]

Actually, I like Indiana as a girl's name as well, especially as a somewhat ass-kicking nerdy girl's name.

I know girls called Dakota and Montana. Not the best of names.