[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

[cephalopod9]

I'm starting a new pill too, next week after period times. I think the one I'm on now said it might take seven days to be effective birth control, also that you shouldn't rely on it for birth control up to seven days after missed pills, although the part about making up for missed pills was sort of confusing and I fortunately haven't needed to use that information.

I got to my appointment at the women's care center, and, except for having to wait a long time because they were busy, it went a lot better than my last doctor's visit. I said the same things I said last time "my periods are still heavy and got really painful" (although I was prepared for further ranting and raving), but this time the response was much more "that is a problem, and we should fix it". So that was nice, and I got a prescription that is lower in estrogen.

Unrelated: Sewing.

Does any one know some varieties of sundress tops? I found a really great design silk-screened onto an XXL* t-shirt at the goodwill I want to combine with some other t-shirts to make a fancy dress. The image is kind of big, and I want it mostly draped over my chest, but it's sort of triangular, and doesn't lend itself to being one solid front piece. I think what I want is a "sundress", but I haven't quite found what I want, and maybe it is automatically something different when you do something fancy like the asymetrical 'one wide shoulder, one spaghetti strap' thing?

I did find this neat looking pattern, which I think I'm gonna make out of a floral bed sheet (also from the goodwill).

*I'm usually about a men's medium in t-shirts, and does anyone else find it kind of exaggerated/ridiculous that a women's large is roughly the same size as a men's small?

[Angua]

A good article about not shaving. For my sanity, I have avoided reading the comments. The non-abridged one also mentions that she wants shaving to be more like make-up is - you can wear it when you want, as much as you want, and doing so does not somehow mean you can't be a feminist.

abridged (and loads easier)
[urlhttp://vagendamag.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/hair-not-musical.html]nonabridged (and more fun to read)[/url]

[Virtual_Aardvark]

How long does one generally wait for Shark Week before worrying? I'm usually so regular I can predict down to the day and Shark Week should have happened by now. I did just move so I get that it could be stress and I'm not freaking out yet but I am starting to worry. I guess I'm asking how long I should hold out before buying a pregnancy test?

[eaglewings51]

eaglewings51--Congrats! I hope it goes well!

It did! I got the call that I got the job today! And I'll be making about two dollars more an hour then I expected!

[suffer-cait]

How long does one generally wait for Shark Week before worrying? I'm usually so regular I can predict down to the day and Shark Week should have happened by now. I did just move so I get that it could be stress and I'm not freaking out yet but I am starting to worry. I guess I'm asking how long I should hold out before buying a pregnancy test?

i always go for a week after the day i'm sure it should have been here by. this may be a little soon, but i find that really taking the test, having it come out negative, and removing that tiny bit of stress, then allows the period to come.

[Plasmic-Turtle]

eaglewings51--Congrats! I hope it goes well!

It did! I got the call that I got the job today! And I'll be making about two dollars more an hour then I expected!

Congrats!!

How long does one generally wait for Shark Week before worrying? I'm usually so regular I can predict down to the day and Shark Week should have happened by now. I did just move so I get that it could be stress and I'm not freaking out yet but I am starting to worry. I guess I'm asking how long I should hold out before buying a pregnancy test?

If the peace of mind from having it come up negative is worth the cost of the pregnancy test (and you'll take it correctly and believe the results!) then it might be easier just to get one, as most are sensitive enough to pick up pregnancy at about the time of the missed period these days.

[Ashlah]

eaglewings51--Congrats! I hope it goes well!

It did! I got the call that I got the job today! And I'll be making about two dollars more an hour then I expected!

Congratulations! How exciting!

[Hofstadter'sLaw]

Been getting Shark Week with only a week or two in between (and cramping during and between) for several months. Finally went to a gyno to get birth control pills to take care of it recently. Can’t start the pills until I start my next period.

It’s been three weeks since my last period.

I feel like, since I finally got pills, I’m never going to get Shark Week again and I won’t get to take the pills to stop the cramping. x_x I’m never really moody, but been feeling really irritable, unhappy and frustrated the last two weeks (stressful things have been happening, but never really felt like this with stressful things before). I’m wondering if my hormones just decided to change again all of a sudden.

/vent

[poxic]

They'll do that. Hopefully the shark pills will help stabilise things a bit. <3

[Cathy]

Period is early, which I usually don't mind too much, but this time it came the morning of my first final... and is likely to last all the way through to my last final friday night.

Oh body. Sometimes I wonder why you delight in torturing me.

[Virtual_Aardvark]

NOT PREGNANT.

Thank the fucking gods.

[ShortChelsea]

Congrats on not being pregnant!

[Angua]

I remember when I first started getting Shark Week, and hating it because it meant I was getting older. I didn't believe my mother when she said that when I got older I'd be happy when it came....

Congratulations on not being pregnant!!!

[ShortChelsea]

I think my mom was thinking the same thing when I complained about it. She just didn't want to say it.

[Amie]

Thank the fucking gods.

Spoiler:

i-see-what-you-did-there.png (27.29 KiB) Viewed 1511 times

[mochafairy]

Gee Willikers cramps!

Yay? *not preggers, but uterus is contemplating murdering me high fives*

[Aaeriele]

Thank the fucking gods.

Spoiler:

i-see-what-you-did-there.png

^

[Virtual_Aardvark]

Thank the fucking gods.

Spoiler:

i-see-what-you-did-there.png

^

Totally accidental I swear. But I couldn't stop giggling when I realized. I also now have extra pregnancy tests which is nice.

Question: Is it standard to tell the gentleman in question about a pregnancy scare? I wanted to hold off till I knew one way or the other for sure but since the test was negative I'm not sure if it's weird to tell him.

[poxic]

I think nearly-fathers prefer to not be told, on the whole. (No man I've dated has appreciated the news, anyway. Anecdata.)

[doogly]

I have played Mortal Kombat. I have learned its lessons well. "There is no knowledge that is not power."

Seriously though, I'd only prefer to be told if there is some behavior you might want to consider changing. Like if the pregnancy scary was scary, because there was some potentially risky behavior that now you feel like turning the risk dial down on, that's a good chat to have together? But if the resolution is pretty meh move on, then not telling him is probably the most direct way to get to the meh move on result.

[Cathy]

Gee Willikers cramps!

Yay? *not preggers, but uterus is contemplating murdering me high fives*

I swear, you guys, we're syncing up over the internet!

[suffer-cait]

men handle pregnancy scares much less well than women, in my experience. I think that if you want to rediscuss your birth control methods, it's a good time to mention a scare, otherwise, i don't do it till the test comes out positive.

[lanicita]

On the other hand, I think if you want to talk about it because you want to vent the worries you'd had or want to share it or want support from your SO, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just because he doesn't have to deal with a pregnancy scare doesn't mean you have to deal with it on your own if you don't want to, as both of you contributed to the possibility of it.

[suffer-cait]

yes! i do not want to discourage that, just my men freak out more than i do and even when they don't they add a bit of stress to the environment that i do not want at such a time.

[existential_squirrrel]

my uterus wants to kill me too!

and it's finals week.

I'm gonna kill my uterus

[meridian]

I told my partner that I was not pregnant and he thought it was a relief to know. Then again, we didn't actually have a scare. I don't know if this affects things.

[Ashlah]

If I was actually scared enough that I felt the need to purchase a test, I would tell my boyfriend, and he would be there when I took the test. Too bad if it makes him uncomfortable, I want support. (He's also told me that he would want to be told if I was taking a pregnancy test, so there's that). If it was just a "Oh man, Shark Week is a day late, what if what if what if???" sort of situation, I probably wouldn't bother to tell him.

Obviously, YMMV, and this is just what I want and expect from my SO.

[blue_eyedspacemonkey]

I have no brain to mouth filter around my SO. He hears everything from pregnancy scares to PCOS to IBS, and none of it bothers him, so I have and would tell him about pregnancy scares. But, as always, YMMV.



Spoilered for OT squeeing about shoes

Spoiler:

These shoes are amazing (pic will probably be huge). They have solved a lot of my feet and ankle problems (I'm on my feet at least 32 hours a week at work, and more outside that), I can get away with wearing them at work. Also SO PRETTY. But they are between £80-£100, so I'm trying to convince myself they're a good investment.

[mochafairy]

My SO hears a lot of it too, anywhere from "I accidentally clogged the toilet" to "That stink is from the cat, not me, I swear" to "I should be bleeding like a horror movie next week, so let's not go near sharks". He's been good during all the "my uterus is not behaving properly" times, so I don't feel too bad about my lack of filtering on that subject.

Re: shoes
Shoes! If they're comfy, think of all the money you'll save on not buying pain meds by buying comfy adorable shoes. Also, how could you be mad wearing those?

[PictureSarah]

Yeah, I pretty much share everything with my SO, including pregnancy scares and bodily functions/malfunctions. He doesn't really mind. He does stuff like joke about making egg drop soup with red food coloring and calling it uterine chunk soup.

[PAstrychef]

Spoilered for OT squeeing about shoes

Spoiler:

These shoes are amazing (pic will probably be huge). They have solved a lot of my feet and ankle problems (I'm on my feet at least 32 hours a week at work, and more outside that), I can get away with wearing them at work. Also SO PRETTY. But they are between £80-£100, so I'm trying to convince myself they're a good investment.

I have a pair of these in a different pattern and agree they're amazingly comfortable. As for being worth the cost, you only get one set of feet and they have to last all of your life. Foot troubles make life difficult, since walking is so basic. Like getting from bed to toilet, for example. Since I've spent most of my working life-at least 60 hours a week-on my feet, I consider good shoes a simple necessity and pay for them accordingly.

[poxic]

As for being worth the cost, you only get one set of feet and they have to last all of your life.

Aye. I'm in foot hell right now, having developed chronic plantar fasciitis. Spending more money on my feet sooner than I did might have averted or at least delayed this. (I've been limited to maybe two or three blocks of walking at a time, max twice per day, for a few years now. Standing in line for anything for more than a couple of minutes starts to get excruciating. )

[Sungura]

Yeah, I pretty much share everything with my SO, including pregnancy scares and bodily functions/malfunctions. He doesn't really mind. He does stuff like joke about making egg drop soup with red food coloring and calling it uterine chunk soup.

Gee Willikers your SO does this too?!? I swear last month I heard this!! hahahahaha.

As to sharing things...maybe I overshare but I tell mostly everything going on. If it's after the fact and you just want to ignore and move on though, I don't see the point in telling him. If you want to discuss things/maybe change various "safety measures" (not sure how else to word that) then yeah you should bring it up.

[Angua]

Mine is going to be a doctor someday. He gets told everything whether he likes it or not.

[Virtual_Aardvark]

I'll probably end up telling him today but if I don't no big deal I guess.

We're not actually dating and any changes to BC are gonna have to be on my end. Also, it's not currently the case, but I usually have multiple partners so there may be a day that paternity of the potential spawn is in question and I don't know that I should behave as if this situation is different because I happen to be sleeping with just him. I actually have no idea what I'll do if I get pregnant and have multiple male partners at the time. Tell all of them I guess?

[Роберт]

I actually have no idea what I'll do if I get pregnant and have multiple male partners at the time. Tell all of them I guess?

I guess... sounds like it would be awkward, but I doubt there's a better solution.

EDIT: you don't want them finding out from another source, so unless you plan to keep them from ever finding out, it's probably the best to just tell them all.

[Cathy]

Period cramps while studying for my very last final = the suck.

Very last final coming will be my hardest also = the suck.

Feeling faint and woozy and headachy and not knowing the cause = the suck.

And then all of a sudden I realize I haven't eaten today! And then I eat! And the world seems like such a nicer place!

Funny how low blood sugar/lack of calories does things with your body.

[poxic]

And brain (being part of the body). I know a few families where the parents know immediately if their child hasn't eaten for a while when s/he becomes cranky and difficult.

[bluebambue]

I got my a Brazilian wax for the first time ever. It's all tender right now.

[Plasmic-Turtle]

And brain (being part of the body). I know a few families where the parents know immediately if their child hasn't eaten for a while when s/he becomes cranky and difficult.

Haha I get very cranky and difficult when I've not eaten too. Glad you're feeling better Cathy and all the best for your final!

As for telling partners about pregnancy scares, mine would almost certainly get told. I end up telling him pretty much everything. He's pretty calm about stuff, so wouldn't be at all panicked by it unless it really was worthy of panic.
Having multiple partners would complicate the situation though! I imagine in that circumstance I wouldn't tell any of them until I'd taken a test, opting to confide/de-stress to a friend instead, perhaps?

"I should be bleeding like a horror movie next week, so let's not go near sharks".

Haha "horror movie" is a great analogy. When I first came off the pill and my shark weeks returned to their full glory, I came out of the loo with a horrified look on my face and told my SO that the toilet bowl looked like I'd just slaughtered a small animal. He'll now sometimes enquire as to whether Shark Week is "at the killing small animals stage" as an indicator as to whether sexy-times are a likely possibility.

He does stuff like joke about making egg drop soup with red food coloring and calling it uterine chunk soup.

It's sort of tempting to try this... I dunno, as a joke on the SO or something? I hadn't even heard of egg drop soup before, but the picture on the Wiki page dyed red would be quite something!

Long off-topic venting ramble follows, but wow has doing so made me feel better!

Spoiler:

Ugh, I think I'm feeling very left out and lonely, and it's decided to manifest itself as rather excessive relationship insecurity/anxiety. Basically, in my current work place all but one of the staff are girls younger than myself (they're 17-22, I'm 25), and almost all are very team-sporty (I'm not), with only one being quite academically-minded, and she's still at high school. So I'm like the older nerdy outsider.

They're all facebook friends and hang out together outside of work, even staff that joined more recently than me. It really shouldn't bother me that I don't fit in, but I feel like I've kind of tried quite hard to be friendly and chatty, and I'm back in the city where my parents live but where I have no friends any more. At all. And I've been living here since Christmas.

So, one of the staff is leaving and they're all having a big party tomorrow night and I would love to dress up and go drinking and dancing and meet new people, but I have the distinct feeling that 'all the staff' being invited really doesn't include me >.< Thank the gods there are only 6 days to go before I move my arse back to my university city.

I think part of the reason it's manifesting itself as relationship insecurity is a friend telling me how her and another friend had met a couple of guys while out drinking one night recently and gone back to their hotel with them, only to find the next morning that one had recently left his wife but did have a new girlfriend, and the other's engagement party was the very next night. If people can't stick to monogamy, why the hell can't they just be honest about it?

I was about to say how freaking irrational I'm being, but you know, when I write it out like this, it all makes sense really: feeling uncool/unwanted/unlikeable/lonely + concerns about how frequently people are dishonest with their 'monogamous' partners + some minor, relatively recent trust issues in my own relationship = feeling rather insecure about my relationship.
Meh, guess I'll just have some chocolate and go back to my 1000 piece jigsaw (room cleaning fail, I found it while I was meant to be tidying...) and try to acknowledge my feelings as valid, normal concerns that should pass soon, rather than beating myself up over them.