xkcd

by **LOLBeth** » Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:51 pm UTC

I turn it down to 11.

I attack the next poster with a giant vacuum cleaner that really, really sucks.

by **BurningLed** » Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:55 pm UTC

I run farther than its crappy cord can reach and it becomes unplugged.

I beat the NP with the unpowered vacuum cleaner.

by **Badion** » Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:43 pm UTC

I become heavier than a piece of shredded paper, thus foiling the unpowered vacuum cleaner.

I attack NP my Hammer!

by **matt96** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:53 am UTC

I defend by stealing the hammer before the attack.

I attack with ~~My wit~~ ~~A denial of service attack~~ ~~Mad ninja skillz~~ ~~A very long list of things that are formatted with strike through~~ indecisiveness!

by **orangedragonfire** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:40 pm UTC

I defend with a coin-throw to make decisions.

I attack with addicting online games.

by **Badion** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 2:26 pm UTC

I defend with a firewall and active content removal.

I attack NP with a healthy dose of humility.

by **matt96** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:48 pm UTC

I defend with an inflamed ego!

I attack NP with the defense of the person who posts next!

by **Mike Rosoft** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:17 pm UTC

I defend with the attack of the person who posted before me!

I attack with a paradox.

by **matt96** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:21 pm UTC

I defend by insisting it was a setup for a defense of either self-referential humor, or a dragon type pokemon.

I attack with an obscure reference!

by **Bartimaeus** » Tue Apr 24, 2012 6:33 pm UTC

Nobody gets it, they all thing you're lame.

I attack with a lame but popular internet meme. Then I sing a song.

by **bug sniper** » Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:58 am UTC

I ask admins to wordfilter it to Saladin's mom, while refusing to click the song link.

I attack the next poster with shoulderblades and gruesome puns.

by **Badion** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:30 pm UTC

I defend with should pads and 80's hair do. Bring on the puns!

I attack NP with an accurate sense of right and wrong!

by **orangedragonfire** » Fri May 04, 2012 10:00 pm UTC

I defend with moral relativity!

I attack with overpopulation!

by **Sean Quixote** » Tue Jun 12, 2012 8:23 am UTC

I defend by waiting a little while.

I attack (with an unclosed parenthetical.

by **Badion** » Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:46 pm UTC

I summon the Japanese education system

I attack with thousands of anime porn.

by **matt96** » Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:06 pm UTC

I defend with a blindfold

I attack with social pressure.

by **CreativeUsername** » Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:40 pm UTC

I defend with a Chocolate Chip Cookie

I attack with a whirlwind of very angry, strong cats.

by **Codemasterc** » Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:56 am UTC

I defend with an equally strong fire hose.

I attack with a fire truck.

by **Badion** » Fri Jun 22, 2012 4:10 pm UTC

I block with a shield of misguided children

I attack NP with reruns of Doll House.

by **kobayashimaru3** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:05 pm UTC

I defend with reruns of Firefly.

I attack NP with a pot of scalding apple juice.

by **Badion** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:58 pm UTC

Defend with burn ointment

Attack NP with dirty keyboard

by **matt96** » Wed Jun 27, 2012 12:29 am UTC

I defend with indifference.

I attack with .. a distraction!!!

by **orangedragonfire** » Sun Jul 01, 2012 8:09 pm UTC

I defend with being too distracted by something else to notice your distraction.

I attack with existential dread.

by **Badion** » Fri Jul 06, 2012 2:03 pm UTC

I defend with pondering my existence

I attack with Zeno's paradox.

by **orangedragonfire** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:14 pm UTC

I defend with modern mathematics.

I attack with complicated math problems.

by **Servant-of_Christ** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:42 am UTC

I defend by making my ti-92 solve it

I attack with my oddly heavy ti-92

by **Bartimaeus** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:38 am UTC

I defend by dodging it.

I attack with buttons.

by **orangedragonfire** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:02 am UTC

I defend by tying them to clothes.

I attack with imagination!

by **Bartimaeus** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:20 am UTC

I defend with action(as opposed to just thinking).

I attack with green paint.

by **upandcomer** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:37 am UTC

I defend with an umbrella.

I attack with magic trickses.

by **Mike Rosoft** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 11:27 am UTC

I defend with a green umbrella.

I attack with an empty paint can.

by **Mike Rosoft** » Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:49 pm UTC

Grr, ninja'd!

I attack with magic trickses.

I defend with actual magic.

I attack with an empty paint can.

by **flicky1991** » Tue Aug 28, 2012 9:23 pm UTC

I defend with an empty helmet?

I attack with Excalibur.

by **Ansain** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 5:20 pm UTC

I block it with a stone.

I attack by raising taxes on the next poster

by **flicky1991** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 7:54 pm UTC

I block it with a trade embargo.

I attack by moving my Knight to c7.

by **Bartimaeus** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 11:35 pm UTC

I defend AND attack by checkmating you.

by **flicky1991** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:22 am UTC

I defend using the chessboard itself.

I attack with gamma radiation.

by **matt96** » Mon Sep 03, 2012 2:08 am UTC

I refuse to defend and attack by becoming the Hulk, Hulk SMASH

by **Bartimaeus** » Mon Sep 03, 2012 2:31 am UTC

I defend by dodging you, then attack by unleashing an army or raptors.

by **flicky1991** » Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:08 am UTC

I defend by choosing the army rather than the raptors, and defeating them with conventional military tactics.

I attack with Sonic's spin attack!

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