xkcd

by **Samik** » Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:07 pm UTC

Samik, being late to the party as always, arrives to find all the best lines already quoted. So I'll call attention to some of the subtler (relatively speaking) funnies, like:

"Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands."

And the clever callback at the end:

"She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water."

Now, how did I get from that to this?

by **UniqueScreenname** » Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:23 pm UTC

I, a month ago wrote:If coffee ceases to have an effect on me, I will have no reason to live anymore.

Self-fulfilling prophecy. Stupid gall bladder. And it may still have an effect, but it makes me terribly ill, so I can't drink it anyway.

by **Ptolom** » Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:08 pm UTC

Today I used an Android phone for the first time. The whole experience was incredibly disturbing on an almost existential level. I am going to stare at a *nix terminal until the feeling goes away.

by **The Scyphozoa** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:23 am UTC

Oh my god I just realized... A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court...

It's a self-insert fanfic.

by **Kithplana** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 3:08 am UTC

Ptolom wrote:Today I used an Android phone for the first time. The whole experience was incredibly disturbing on an almost existential level. I am going to stare at a *nix terminal until the feeling goes away.

I felt somewhat better when I installed ConnectBot on my phone and could at least ping. I felt loads better when I got CyanogenMod (Ice Cream Sandwich) installed on my HP Touchpad and I could get a root shell. It's like being home.

by **felltir** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:10 am UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:Oh my god I just realized... A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court...

It's a self-insert fanfic.

Oh dear lord...

by **ameretrifle** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:51 am UTC

Yeah, I hear Shakespeare's RPF was pretty well-received, too. Things like 'The Social Network' and 'Game Change' or whatever too.

Heh... thanks to the internet, we've got the impression that "fanfiction" is bad writing done mostly by teenage girls. It's way more widespread than that, in history, demographics, and quality...

...Though I never did get far in that particular book when I tried. XD

by **The Scyphozoa** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:05 am UTC

The thing is the legends of King Arthur essentially are fiction already. It's like someone today writing Greek mythology stories.

It's just funny to give it that title. I suppose all "historical fiction" can be jokingly labeled fanfic, but Mark Twain stands out a little more than That Generic Short Story About a Present-day African-American Teenager Who Gets Sent Back to the 1960s That You Read in School Because it Was the Week of MLK Jr. Day.

by **Plasma Man** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:45 pm UTC

I've just got a truly excellent error message from the patient database at work:

Could not search

Could not search. ORA-00904: "PATIENT". "MUTATION_TIME": Invalid identifier.

by **emceng** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:53 pm UTC

dhokarena56 wrote: put most of the country's major cities on individual currencies, .

You're not going far enough. I demand that each city has their own time system. Screw other cities, they don't need to know what time it is here!

by **pseudoidiot** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:54 pm UTC

And language! How are we going to keep our individuality if everyone talks like everyone else?!

by **Plasma Man** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:22 pm UTC

omfrrf. \o ypys;;u shrtrr eoyj upi/

by **The Scyphozoa** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:10 pm UTC

Ubi wubonduber ubif ubanubyubone knubows whubat thube fubuck ubi'm duboubing ubin thubis pubost.

by **Angua** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:12 pm UTC

Have you been reading the Sweet Valley high twins books? Though I think they went for ithig instead of ub.

by **Ptolom** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:49 pm UTC

Kithplana wrote:
Ptolom wrote:Today I used an Android phone for the first time. The whole experience was incredibly disturbing on an almost existential level. I am going to stare at a *nix terminal until the feeling goes away.

I felt somewhat better when I installed ConnectBot on my phone and could at least ping. I felt loads better when I got CyanogenMod (Ice Cream Sandwich) installed on my HP Touchpad and I could get a root shell. It's like being home.

I am working on CyanogenMod. It seems the bootloader has to be downgraded before I can unlock the ROM to reflash it.

by **dhokarena56** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:53 pm UTC

There is, it would seem, a manga entitled Iinari! Aibure-shon which is an "all-ages omorashi" work.

I wasn't aware all-ages and omorashi went together. It would seem they do.

by **SirBryghtside** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:50 pm UTC

I finally caved and made a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

It wasn't bad, but it felt like the two parts were just neutralising each other. I'd rather have peanut butter on its own, or jam on its own. Together... it's just a resounding feeling of 'average' on all sides. Was I doing something wrong?

by **bigglesworth** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:00 am UTC

I believe it's supposed to curb the excesses of either (peanut butter sticking to roof of mouth, sweetness of jam).

by **poxic** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:02 am UTC

No, that sounds about right. The peanut butter keeps the jam from being too sweet, and the jam keeps the peanut butter from sticking to the roof of your mouth quite so ferociously. Yin and yang.

by **poxic** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:02 am UTC

/biggle'd

by **Black Dynamite** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:06 am UTC

And then honey likes to pour itself all in-between the peanut butter and jam as the bananas watch.

by **bigglesworth** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:06 am UTC

From my keys electronic,
My words spring Laconic,
But in rhyming on it,
I fear I sound moronic?

by **e^iπ+1=0** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:28 am UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:Ubi wubonduber ubif ubanubyubone knubows whubat thube fubuck ubi'm duboubing ubin thubis pubost.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63Mr0dn7uU8#t=9m6s

by **Menacing Spike** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:58 am UTC

Was walking down the street.

"- Do you have time for a survey?"

meh okay whatever, I accept, he asks a few weirds questions such as "what do you want to be, what to you want to possess, what could you change about yourself if you could". I'm wondering if this is a prank or some philosophy uni bullshit or...

"Yeah because I belong to an organization where we help people achieve some of those things."
"Uh thanks but-"
"Have your heard of dianetics?"
"Yes, bye"

I feel yucky now.

by **You, sir, name?** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:29 pm UTC

Earlier this morning at work:

You're all fucking fired. The office is closing. You have 5 months make your time.

by **emceng** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:54 pm UTC

SirBryghtside wrote:I finally caved and made a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

It wasn't bad, but it felt like the two parts were just neutralising each other. I'd rather have peanut butter on its own, or jam on its own. Together... it's just a resounding feeling of 'average' on all sides. Was I doing something wrong?

Also try putting it in the microwave for about 20 seconds. Then everything is melty and delicious.

by **ArgonV** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:19 pm UTC

Toolooz? Seriously? I know it's Fox News and all, but this... That yellow dot better not signify the position of Toulouse.

I'm starting to doubt whether it's a fake, but we ARE talking about Fox News here...

by **Angua** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:24 pm UTC

Do you speak French? I can make out that this thinks it's a photoshop, but I can't tell if it mentions the position of the dot or not.

http://frenchmorning.com/ny/2012/03/21/toolooz-sur-fox-news-un-faux/

by **ArgonV** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:31 pm UTC

If my French is good enough, it's saying it is a fake. Unfortunately.

by **e^iπ+1=0** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:34 pm UTC

I speak enough French to know that it does indeed mention the dot placement: "une émission de Fox News plaçant « Toolooz » (et non « Toulouse ») en Europe de l’Est." = "a Fox News broadcast placing 'Toolooz' (rather than 'Toulouse') in Eastern Europe."

by **SecondTalon** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:21 pm UTC

So.. I'm the only one who just did this? I mean.. no, it's not perfect but it gets the ideas across well enough for you to understand the "It are a fake look at pixels" message being conveyed.

by **eligitine** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:54 pm UTC

This is fox news we're talking about. Natrually, whenever I see any tv news I cast some shadow of doubt into it, unless it is live. BBC nonwithstanding.

by **Sytri** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:25 pm UTC

Huh, if you're an olympic torch-bearer you can buy the torch you held on your run. That's pretty cool. They cost £200, but thats still quite good for a little bit of history.

by **Tomlidich the second** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:07 pm UTC

i always thought it was bad when an outlook profile was blown out....

has anyone actually tried to recover an accoun on this fora? its a major disaster.

for some reason my old username was not being recognized or anything. >.<

by **UniqueScreenname** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:36 pm UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:Ubi wubonduber ubif ubanubyubone knubows whubat thube fubuck ubi'm duboubing ubin thubis pubost.

"It's first grade, Spongebob!"

SirBryghtside wrote:I finally caved and made a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

It wasn't bad, but it felt like the two parts were just neutralising each other. I'd rather have peanut butter on its own, or jam on its own. Together... it's just a resounding feeling of 'average' on all sides. Was I doing something wrong?

I always just make jelly sandwiches. The peanut butter gets in the way.

by **Menacing Spike** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:21 pm UTC

ArgonV wrote:

Toolooz? Seriously? I know it's Fox News and all, but this... That yellow dot better not signify the position of Toulouse.

I'm starting to doubt whether it's a fake, but we ARE talking about Fox News here...

"French president claude guéant"

"Toolooz"

wildly wrong location

asian jews

Fuckin' duh it's a fake.

Alsosong for you.

Summary of the french link, by the way: "Fuckin' duh it's a fake. Ya'll morons. Fox news told us it's a fake too. context context this sort of stuff already happened"

by **The Scyphozoa** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:32 pm UTC

UniqueScreenname wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Ubi wubonduber ubif ubanubyubone knubows whubat thube fubuck ubi'm duboubing ubin thubis pubost.

"It's first grade, Spongebob!"

Still no. It's Ubbi Dubbi from ZOOM.

by **Giant Speck** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:40 am UTC

22.17-mile commute on my bicycle + 3.09 miles of running this afternoon = I am exhausted. I also believe I might be sunburnt.

by **UniqueScreenname** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:46 am UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:
UniqueScreenname wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Ubi wubonduber ubif ubanubyubone knubows whubat thube fubuck ubi'm duboubing ubin thubis pubost.

"It's first grade, Spongebob!"

Still no. It's Ubbi Dubbi from ZOOM.

Wow, that takes me back.

Giant Speck wrote:22.17-mile commute on my bicycle + 3.09 miles of running this afternoon = I am exhausted. I also believe I might be sunburnt.

I've never had a sunburn, despite living in Florida. Yeah, I'm that awesome, or possibly just melanin gifted.

by **Giant Speck** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:51 am UTC

Generally, sunburns don't really hurt for me. I feel warm for several days, my skin turns orange, but then it settles into a nice tan color.

Then I start molting. :shock:

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