0999: "Cougars"

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DarsVaeda
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby DarsVaeda » Wed Jan 04, 2012 7:18 pm UTC

That reminds me of an incident that happened to "me" some years ago.
Every day I took the light-rail between two towns. In between was some more "open" land. They are separated by a less than 30 minutes drive.
When you enter one of the towns first there are the bigger houses with more land around them, gardens, as usual in this country.
On one side of the rail is a street and on the other side the houses and a solid public footpath.
So as the train passes I saw a guy walking towards the town. Nothing unusual, there are a lot of people walking out of town, as it is a bigger town. And it seems people need to "get out" from time to time.
BUT not a minute later I thought I must be daydreaming or something. Yet the excited chatter of other passengers made me realize I actually did see what I saw.
A (excuse me) motherfucking huge real life TIGER!
He headed in direction of the poor guy I saw just a minute earlier.
Was walking just like one of the usual humans there, as he just took a little walk. Actually a quite bizarre situation/view.
I guess I do not need to mention I do not live in India.

Later I heard in the radio that several animals escaped from a circus that the train also passed few minutes later.
They said no one was hurt.
Guess that guy was lucky ;)
But I can hardly imagine the amount of pee that guy lost when the tiger approached him.

TomRobbins
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby TomRobbins » Wed Jan 04, 2012 10:27 pm UTC

I hope the 1000th comic is finally the battle between people and the six legged red spiders.

jeffk
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby jeffk » Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:03 pm UTC

Krenn wrote:Did anyone else mistake this for a Calvin and Hobbes reference at first, or was it just me?

I didn't take it as an intentional reference, but it was the first thing that came to my mind:
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Fire Brns
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Fire Brns » Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:05 pm UTC

I, sadly, would do this.

I'm surprised most of the deaths were not from recieving them in the mail. (Yes I know they weren't panthers)
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Fire Brns » Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:11 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:As someone who is not easily offended, I don't really mind anything in this conversation.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:It was the Renaissance. Everyone was Italian.

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whateveries
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby whateveries » Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:26 pm UTC

confronting list, that. poor kids.

the thing with kids is that an off hand comment like this, say, about the dangers of the world, can take up to three days of follow up explanations, usually with the last ending with something like this...
"IT WAS A JOKE OK! NO KIDS HAVE EVER BEEN EATEN ANYWHERE! OK! GOOD! NOW GET TO SLEEP! DADDY NEEDS TO DRINK NOW!"

so you have been warned, educate at your own risk.
it's fine.

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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby gormster » Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:43 am UTC

spojaz wrote:I immediately went to the wiki page, and was reminded of one thing I wanted to forget. Mark Miedema, 10, male July 17, 1997. We were both 10, we were in the same class at school and several extra-curricular activities, and I HATED him. On that fateful Saturday I recall actively wishing him harm, particularly burned up about something (I can't remember what) he had said to me. Later I was on TV because I was in his class, lying about how nice he was and hiding the guilt inside of me. The whole experience was surreal. I have not been able to hate anyone ever since, for fear of what may happen to them.


Is this... the ultimate GOOMHR?
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby cjmcjmcjmcjm » Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:28 am UTC

Without the alt/title-text, I was thinking this was about a slightly different type of cougar
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Spiky » Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:30 am UTC

It's always sad when people with no experience in it discuss a topic.

barasawa
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby barasawa » Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:15 am UTC

I live on the 3rd floor with no trees, balconies, ledges, or other climbable surfaces near my bedroom.
If I see yellow eyes peering in my bedroom window at night, a cougar is what it's not.

If that happens, I should probably grab a silvered sword in one hand, a supersoaker of holy water in the other, and start chanting sutras because if it's not my brother playing an elaborate practical joke, things just went medieval nightmare out there. :twisted:

I could be worse, it could be stepping through the wall... (cue lightning)

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Pfhorrest
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Pfhorrest » Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:01 am UTC

Elipongo wrote:Or maybe not considering comic 404?

404 is a comic.

and 4"33" is a song.
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Murphy2112
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Murphy2112 » Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:03 am UTC

This reminds me so much of my dad. If I was ever lagging behind on a walk as a kid, he'd cheerfully inform me that cougars love to eat the slowest people.

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Pfhorrest
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Pfhorrest » Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:07 am UTC

The Cat wrote:Cougar warnings should be taken seriously! Damn cougars.....I personally prefer the California mountain variety.

As a California resident (of the more wilderly variety of areas in origin), cougars are my favorite dangerous animal around these parts. Why? Because they're the only dangerous animal for which the recommended response is to fight back. Everything else, like bears and wolves and anything like that, the advice is basically some variety of "lie back and hope they don't eat too much of you, because struggling will make it worse". With cougars, the advice is essentially "punch them in the nose and they'll go find something less painful to eat". That is somehow much more satisfying than the more passive advice given about other animals.
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MrHacks
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby MrHacks » Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:06 pm UTC

Is anyone excited for #1000 tomorrow?
I think that the first 1000 visitors on Friday should get a free Bobcat.

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MrHacks
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby MrHacks » Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:14 pm UTC

TomRobbins wrote:I hope the 1000th comic is finally the battle between people and the six legged red spiders.

It will probably be Cory Doctrow and the Ronpaul battling each other to the death on top of the Abandoned Silvercup Coffee Warehouse.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!

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AvatarIII
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby AvatarIII » Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:28 pm UTC

MrHacks wrote:Is anyone excited for #1000 tomorrow?
I think that the first 1000 visitors on Friday should get a free Bobcat.


and where are these 1000 free bobcats going to come from?

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addams
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby addams » Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:20 pm UTC

ogersama wrote:List of fatal bear attacks in North America is a much longer list!


This one 'got' me. Such a gruesome and interesting subject.
This kind of thing was my favorite thing for a while.

Yes. I think that you are right.
Bears. Dogs help with that bear problem. But; Ya' need a fricking Pack. (Lots of dogs.) Lots of dogs come with their own sets of problems.

I, also, think that the wiki list of North American Panther related fatalities is incomplete. City people have Urban legends. Country people have rumors, too.

Some of those rumors are not rumors. They are true. eww.

Joggers were such a high risk group for a while. Campers and homeless men and women are still a high risk groups.

Dang Cats are scary.

North America has herbivores that will run down a human being and stomp it to death, because, Elk are in a bad mood in the Fall. Elk don't eat people. They leave them laying around for the vultures, Fox, Bob cat, Panther, Domestic dog, Ya' know.

And; If, we look at attacks from bear, cougar, and ruminants that are not fatal we get a different number.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruminant
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elk
Roosevelt Elk

Yeah. It is big land with big animals.
It takes more than one 120 lb Cat to take down a full grown Elk.

But; One 120 lb Cat can get a calf.
Oh, Isn't nature wonderful. (I mean it; Yet; In this context, it may be sarcastic.)

One Cat took down an engineer that was out for a walk in the park. His female companion saved him. He still needed weeks of care in hospital. But; She saved him. A woman fought a cougar for her friend. That woman is a good friend.

Damn! I can't find one internet thing about it. It is true. (I think.)
I was not in the Park that day. But; I was in the area.

I don't live there anymore. I live in a city, now.
Cities come with their own dangers.
Bicycles! Ahhh!
Trains!
Other stuff as well. Scary stuff.



Out of context it is difficult to understand the world.

I am so old that I grew up in a world that had Earthquakes, Deadly Storms, floods and droughts, animals that eat human, humans that eat animals. Jeeze.
Well; I did not know any better.

Of course, I put on my hiking boots and walked into the mountains.

We were Told, "They are more afraid of you than you are of them."
Were we lied to?
Nah. We, just, have to act funny. It freaks out the wild life.

1. Wear a hat.
Do not hesitate to wack an animal in the face with it, While you are screaming some weird thing that makes you feel better about the situation.

2. Open your coat. Put your hands in the pocket and raise your arms.
This time you get to jump and down and yell weird things at the animal.
Does not matter what you yell. Most don't understand English, anyway.
2.a.) Reaon: This makes you look larger. The primitive animal mind has a math equation running all the time. It is like the nautical gross tonage rule.
The animal will make an assessment about how good the idea of attack is based on the size of the pray. (Many animals use this device. The puffer fish does.)
3.b.) They have few algebra skills and they have short, short term memories.
Elk can be funny, when, it is not fall.


The Elk are easy to get along with in the spring and summer. They have herd habits. They nap together in the afternoon. Same place, nearly everyday.

I have stood and watched them sleep, until, it made me sleepy. People like naps, too. So sweet.

Comfortably lying in a pool of sunshine. Feet in sun, Head in shadow.
The sound of the wind in the tree tops and the quite far off waves coming from the other side of the hill. The smell of Eucalyptus drifting in the warm air that falls into the hallow.

Nice way to nap. Until the Glomming. Then, the Cats come out to hunt.


4. Keep a very bright light with you at all times. It will blind the cat and makes a dandy hammer.

5. Just stay home with your computer. What could go wrong?

Land Sharks?
Time vultures?
Raptors?
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
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Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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cjmcjmcjmcjm
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby cjmcjmcjmcjm » Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:22 pm UTC

frezik wrote:Anti-photons move at the speed of dark

DemonDeluxe wrote:Paying to have laws written that allow you to do what you want, is a lot cheaper than paying off the judge every time you want to get away with something shady.

KryssLaBryn
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby KryssLaBryn » Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:28 pm UTC

I live in an area with cougars. I don't like 'em.

Bears usually won't come right up to the house unless you're cooking something tasty with the window open, and even then I've only seen that happen once (plum pancakes, if you're curious. A mother and her cub came right up onto the balcony, sniffing after them!), and they usually will take off if they know you're in the area. Wolves won't usually come that close to a house either, especially considering the smell of machines, humans, and dogs around here, and especially considering how much more tempting livestock is wandering around our area. The coyotes would totally gang up and eat the kids, but the dog usually chases them away, thankfully. The cougars, though...

I intensely dislike cougars because while the others might attack a human given provocation, or if they were particularly weak and couldn't get their normal prey, to a cougar, humans are normal prey. I know several adult humans who have been stalked by cougars, one of whom is only around because when he turned to see it crouching twenty feet away, ready to pounce, his trigger finger tightened automatically when he clenched in fear and he happened to hit it. oddly, that same buddy, years later (this past Spring, in fact), was walking along the sidewalk early one morning (in the city!) when he was tackled by a bear. Luckily he managed to stab it to death without taking too much damage.

So, yeah, this is exactly the sort of information that I have to give the kids (along with what to do if they see one, or hear the coyotes, or run into a bear, and to always trust their instincts and to come inside if they feel something's wrong) to avoid having them eaten.

The local school had to have the kids inside for a few weeks because a cougar was seen in the area.

So, kids! Watch out for cougars! Even your own front yard isn't safe if they're in the area! The more you know... lol.

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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby BytEfLUSh » Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:46 pm UTC

gormster wrote:
spojaz wrote:I immediately went to the wiki page, and was reminded of one thing I wanted to forget. Mark Miedema, 10, male July 17, 1997. We were both 10, we were in the same class at school and several extra-curricular activities, and I HATED him. On that fateful Saturday I recall actively wishing him harm, particularly burned up about something (I can't remember what) he had said to me. Later I was on TV because I was in his class, lying about how nice he was and hiding the guilt inside of me. The whole experience was surreal. I have not been able to hate anyone ever since, for fear of what may happen to them.


Is this... the ultimate GOOMHR?


It did happen more than 14 years ago, but still... Yeah, it probably is, statistically.

July 17th, 1997 was a Thursday, though... But Spojaz may have meant the Saturday before.
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addams
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby addams » Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:45 pm UTC

There was an old song. I don't know music code so I can not give you the melody.

But; The words were changed slightly to frighten little brothers and sisters.

"When you go out in the woods at night be sure to take some....." The real words are lost in memory somewhere.

The words were changed to:
"When you go out in the woods at night be sure to take someone smaller and slower than you."

I explained this to a kid one time. He insisted that I carry him.

We were singing the little song. After, the song, I said, "That's you.''
He argued with me. "No." He said. "The dog is smaller."
"Yes." I told him. "You are right. The dog is smaller. But; the dog is faster."

Then, I had to carry him. So, funny. Then, We became the slowest, together.

I talked him into walking and letting me hold his hand. That made us one creature that was so loud and weird that no self respecting wild life would have anything to do with us. We had sparklers. And; Other stuff as well.

The dogs were happy.

Oh! Oh! Another related, thing. Umm. The docile black bear is not so docile anymore.

The Brown Bear has always been a bastard. They are, just, so fricking huge.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_bear

The official guidelines for Brown Bear attacks is:
1. cover the back of your neck with your hands.
2. curl up in the fetal position; protecting your vital organs
3. do not fight back; do not move

I walked away from one of those classes with a bunch of guys that said.
"Fuck it. I am going to run."

I said; ''I think that I will keep a respectful distance. Then; Run''

The slowest of the pack will be Bear Toy.
Those things don't know we are people.
Who knows what they think.
I have heard that; They think that they can play with their food, if, they want to. Who teaches Brown Bear Table Manners?
Good old Mother Nature?

Oh! Oh! Predators will sometimes fixate on one individual and run past others in pursuit of that one. Weird. But; True. Not all the time, true. But; Sometimes true. They get tunnel vision. They only see what they are focused on.

Those are the wolf and bear. The cats are like house cats. They will watch a thing for a while then 'get' THAT thing. Not many, 'I was chased by a cat.' stories

Dogs and bear love the run. It is fun. Like the way little humans like to play tag.

Lots and lots of Stories with the following titles:
I was chased by a bear.
I was chased by a dog.
I was chased by an Elk.
I was chased by a horse.
I was chased by a deer. (They get grumpy in the fall, too.)
They are, just, playing with the human neighbors.
Sometimes they kill them. Sometimes they don't. Mostly, they don't.
Of course, we only hear from the survivors. Or; eye witnesses.

Google Earth? Can we see that kind of stuff from satellites? I know so little about the way the world works.

I know how cat eyes work.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

Kaiman
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Kaiman » Tue Jan 10, 2012 9:14 pm UTC

in North America, they're all names for the same species


Not true. "Panther" refers to any black-colored big cat and isn't even species-specific.

Monox D. I-Fly
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Monox D. I-Fly » Sun Apr 22, 2018 3:41 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:As a California resident (of the more wilderly variety of areas in origin), cougars are my favorite dangerous animal around these parts. Why? Because they're the only dangerous animal for which the recommended response is to fight back. Everything else, like bears and wolves and anything like that, the advice is basically some variety of "lie back and hope they don't eat too much of you, because struggling will make it worse". With cougars, the advice is essentially "punch them in the nose and they'll go find something less painful to eat". That is somehow much more satisfying than the more passive advice given about other animals.


Wait, it doesn't work on wolves and bears?
Finally found one comic mentioning a Trading Card Game:
https://xkcd.com/696/

Mikeski
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby Mikeski » Sun Apr 22, 2018 11:19 pm UTC

Monox D. I-Fly wrote:
Pfhorrest wrote:As a California resident (of the more wilderly variety of areas in origin), cougars are my favorite dangerous animal around these parts. Why? Because they're the only dangerous animal for which the recommended response is to fight back. Everything else, like bears and wolves and anything like that, the advice is basically some variety of "lie back and hope they don't eat too much of you, because struggling will make it worse". With cougars, the advice is essentially "punch them in the nose and they'll go find something less painful to eat". That is somehow much more satisfying than the more passive advice given about other animals.


Wait, it doesn't work on wolves and bears?

Wolves hunt in packs. It's hard to punch a half-dozen noses at once. If a lone wolf attacks a human, it's either really hungry, or it's rabid, and not likely to be dissuaded by anything short of death.

Bears are big. It's hard to punch a nose you can't reach. (Admittedly, the black bears in California are smaller than grizzly bears, which live further north. Black bears are "only" 1 to 3 times the size of a human; grizzlies are twice that big.)

But really, the only advantage a human has against large predatory animals is intelligence. If you're going to go hang out in their territory, carry a damn gun. Or at least a can of bear spray.

If you want to listen to someone who tells you to defend yourself with your bare fists, fine. Bears need to eat, too.

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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby jello34543 » Mon Apr 30, 2018 7:22 pm UTC

Mikeski wrote:If you want to listen to someone who tells you to defend yourself with your bare fists, fine. Bears need to eat, too.


<reply mode="cranky old fart">

While I appreciate (and don't totally disagree with) the sentiment, feeding humans to bears is a bad idea. Once a bear decides that people are edible and way easier to catch, it increases the danger enormously for non-stupid humans.

rmsgrey
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Re: 0999: "Cougars"

Postby rmsgrey » Mon Apr 30, 2018 10:54 pm UTC

jello34543 wrote:
Mikeski wrote:If you want to listen to someone who tells you to defend yourself with your bare fists, fine. Bears need to eat, too.


<reply mode="cranky old fart">

While I appreciate (and don't totally disagree with) the sentiment, feeding humans to bears is a bad idea. Once a bear decides that people are edible and way easier to catch, it increases the danger enormously for non-stupid humans.


Also increases the danger significantly for the bears if humans decide bears are a real threat...


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