0916: Unpickable

[kargoth]

Wouldn't 5x5 be a Rubik's square?

Nah... by saying cube, the LxW is sufficient to describe the depth... but of course, so is just one dimension stated + cube.

Thus, I propose new Rubik's Cube naming conventions. 3RC, 5RC, 7RC, etc

[sockpoppet]

For a split second I thought that the lock was a rubber vagina and that it was going to involve some kind of "geeks don't have sex" joke.

[cgalant]

I... actually do this. Almost exactly, except for the 'unpickable' bit. I have a large, heavy fireproof combination safe on the floor in my closet - I keep my valuables in a nondescript box on the top shelf.

[gnoitall]

"The safe is empty except an unsolved 5X5 Rubik's cube."

Now that's just cruel.

It's even worse: The safe is empty except an unsolved 5X5 Rubik's cube.
_{Rendered unsolvable by a fused edge-to-center joint}

[Various Varieties]

Also, rice should be scattered in a circle around the safe and box as an extra precaution against vampire hackers.

[AvatarIII]

Also, rice should be scattered in a circle around the safe and box as an extra precaution against vampire hackers.

to non vampires though it could be assumed that everything within the circle has some level of importance, therefore encouraging them to investigate the shoebox

[Nyerguds]

This is like nerd sniping with an orbital kinetic energy weapon.

Like... dropping a safe from orbit?

[BunsenH]

What's this "5x5" stuff? It's a 5x5x5 cube.

[Harry Voyager]

Reminds me of a local robbery at a gas station a few years ago. The robbers cut an empty safe out of a concrete floor and ran off with it, while leaving a register containing a couple of thousand dollars just sitting on the counter.

Of course, the best one was the lady that stole the tip jar and dropped it on the way out.

[Hirg]

The safe is downstairs in the basement, embedded in the foundation of my house. The shoe boxes are upstairs, with at least one in every closet and a dozen in the attic. An encrypted document in my filing cabinet contains somewhat clear but not-too obvious clues to the first shoebox, in which another set of clues leads to another shoebox that contains the key to the encrypted document. Upon decoding the document, any intruder will know the locations of all the deeds, titles, and valuables scattered throughout my three dozen shoe boxes and basement-embedded safe.

It's all a ruse, though. All but two of the documents are fake or no longer valid since 1986, and the diamonds are in the refrigerator.

[dotancohen]

I keep my money inside my piano. And in the inserts in an old push-up bra.

of course, if I meet a particularly musical burglar there's a problem.

...or a horny one.

Where's your place?

[dotancohen]

I... actually do this. Almost exactly, except for the 'unpickable' bit. I have a large, heavy fireproof combination safe on the floor in my closet - I keep my valuables in a nondescript box on the top shelf.

Where's your place?

[dotancohen]

The safe is downstairs in the basement, embedded in the foundation of my house. The shoe boxes are upstairs, with at least one in every closet and a dozen in the attic. An encrypted document in my filing cabinet contains somewhat clear but not-too obvious clues to the first shoebox, in which another set of clues leads to another shoebox that contains the key to the encrypted document. Upon decoding the document, any intruder will know the locations of all the deeds, titles, and valuables scattered throughout my three dozen shoe boxes and basement-embedded safe.

It's all a ruse, though. All but two of the documents are fake or no longer valid since 1986, and the diamonds are in the refrigerator.

Where's your place?

And let this be the same lesson to anti-hacker thwarts as hackers themselves have yet to learn: You don't brag about your exploits, and you don't brag about your security.

[A_of_s_t]

If you look closely, you can see a Wikipedia reference that doesn't actually exist.

[DillyD]

Remember kids! Place all your sensitive e-mails and Facebook accounts inside a shoebox in your closet!

[un1xl0ser]

Shouldn't the 5x5 Rubik's Cube have two of the colored squares peeled off and swapped for extra security?

Rubik's cubes were one of the trinkets given out for donating blood at work, and at one point there were 5-10 around the office. They would get solved by various people, but there ones one cow-orker that couldn't ever resist an unsolved one. So one afternoon I "opened" mine up and swapped two pieces, then mixed it up to look like a challenge.

It sat there for about two hours, after which he picked it up. It was fun to watch him puzzled as to why it couldn't be solved, and then mention that these two pieces must be swapped before putting it down.

[drwho]

Funny, "HackerShield" is the name of a security scanner (now long dead) that I worked on ten years ago.

Some people are not paying attention to the comic. If a keyed lock, not a combination one, and that makes the fiddling so much more time consuming. Further, it's not shoes that are in the box, it's "ÿour valuables". The idea being, it's not new shoes, but a nondescript container of low security.

[dfjdejulio]

I was going to say "do you have any idea how much time I'd waste trying to pick that?", but it's clear that yes, yes, you know exactly how much time I'd waste that way.

[dfjdejulio]

What's this "5x5" stuff? It's a 5x5x5 cube.

Nope! The "5x5" has nothing at all to do with the cube's dimensions, obviously! (Otherwise: either it would be "5x5x5", or it would be just "5", or Randall would have made an error, and none of those can be the case.)

In this case, we must remember the idiomatic meaning of "5x5" taken originally from old radio slang. For radio it meant "loud and clear", but idiomatically today it means "everything is cool".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... ve+by+five

So what I infer from this is, the cube in question has not had any sticker swaps or corner rotations that render it unsolvable -- it's a completely okay cube. We have no information at all about its size.

I mean, really! Just apply Occam's razor. Isn't this the simplest, most logical, and most obvious explanation?

[WizenedEE]

Worse: a 5x5x6 cube in the safe.

[RevengencerAlf]

What's this "5x5" stuff? It's a 5x5x5 cube.

Nope! The "5x5" has nothing at all to do with the cube's dimensions, obviously! (Otherwise: either it would be "5x5x5", or it would be just "5", or Randall would have made an error, and none of those can be the case.)

In this case, we must remember the idiomatic meaning of "5x5" taken originally from old radio slang. For radio it meant "loud and clear", but idiomatically today it means "everything is cool".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... ve+by+five

So what I infer from this is, the cube in question has not had any sticker swaps or corner rotations that render it unsolvable -- it's a completely okay cube. We have no information at all about its size.

I mean, really! Just apply Occam's razor. Isn't this the simplest, most logical, and most obvious explanation?

I think the real Occam's Razor explanation is that Randal just likes to troll his readers and is not too bad at it.

[rhomboidal]

Brilliant. All this time, I've been using that same model of safe to secure my sandwiches in the breakroom fridge at work. (At the DHS.)

[cream wobbly]

Alt text: "The safe is empty except an unsolved 5X5 Rubik's cube."

Yup. The dish of rice outside the door to keep the devil out. The grains of sand sprinkled around the threshold.

My Dad's car was broken into once. The thief carefully removed the rear quarter-light, opened the back door, and got in. They'd set about trying to remove the radio, but the glovebox contained a nest of small cardboard boxes I'd collected. By the 12th one, they must have been convinced there was something really valuable in the middle of this. After all, it rattled convincingly when you shook it.

Sorry jerks -- just a piece of crumpled wax paper around a ball bearing...

They didn't have time to steal the radio after that. I went with my Dad up to a car place, they replaced the window in two minutes flat, and on the way back, I put the boxes back; this time with an elastic band around each one.

[cream wobbly]

In this case, we must remember the idiomatic meaning of "5x5" taken originally from old radio slang. For radio it meant "loud and clear", but idiomatically today it means "everything is cool".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... ve+by+five

No, five by five means readable but a medium-strength signal. The first number is readability on a scale 1..5, the second is signal strength on a scale 1..9. http://www.radioing.com/hamstart/rst.html

[Sweeney_Todd]

But how can we know that the cube is unsolved if we have not yet observed it? The cube is both solved and unsolved until we open the box.

[cream wobbly]

Where's your place?

Where's your place?

Where's your place?

And let this be the same lesson to anti-hacker thwarts as hackers themselves have yet to learn: You don't brag about your exploits, and you don't brag about your security.

I have a toddler; ergo, I don't have anything worth stealing.

Where's your place?

[Story]

Where's your place?

For extra protection against XKCD reading geeks, I make posts bragging about fake decoy systems. You don't think I'd post where the actual decoys are do you?

[A_of_s_t]

Alt text: "The safe is empty except an unsolved 5X5 Rubik's cube."

Yup. The dish of rice outside the door to keep the devil out. The grains of sand sprinkled around the threshold.

My Dad's car was broken into once. The thief carefully removed the rear quarter-light, opened the back door, and got in. They'd set about trying to remove the radio, but the glovebox contained a nest of small cardboard boxes I'd collected. By the 12th one, they must have been convinced there was something really valuable in the middle of this. After all, it rattled convincingly when you shook it.

Sorry jerks -- just a piece of crumpled wax paper around a ball bearing...

They didn't have time to steal the radio after that. I went with my Dad up to a car place, they replaced the window in two minutes flat, and on the way back, I put the boxes back; this time with an elastic band around each one.

Brilliant!

[bmonk]

Shouldn't the 5x5 Rubik's Cube have two of the colored squares peeled off and swapped for extra security?

I thought any combination of mixed colours is possible with Rubix cubes.
Am I wrong?

Yes, if you swapped a middle square with a corner square it would be unsolvable.
I had this problem. Trying to get my grandfather's safe open using the number sequence, which was written in code, and we had no idea how the tumbler worked. Turned out the deeds were in the cupboard next to the safe. I learnt a lot about safes, and basic searching technique.

Actually, not true. If you swap, for example, two sides of one cublet, you get parity problems: if you swapped an edge cublet, one edge on the solved cube will be reversed, and so on.

[Hirg]

The safe is downstairs in the basement, embedded in the foundation of my house. The shoe boxes are upstairs, with at least one in every closet and a dozen in the attic. An encrypted document in my filing cabinet contains somewhat clear but not-too obvious clues to the first shoebox, in which another set of clues leads to another shoebox that contains the key to the encrypted document. Upon decoding the document, any intruder will know the locations of all the deeds, titles, and valuables scattered throughout my three dozen shoe boxes and basement-embedded safe.

It's all a ruse, though. All but two of the documents are fake or no longer valid since 1986, and the diamonds are in the refrigerator.

Where's your place?

And let this be the same lesson to anti-hacker thwarts as hackers themselves have yet to learn: You don't brag about your exploits, and you don't brag about your security.

...Whereas believing everything people say is to be encouraged, especially when it's said on the internets. Yay!

[rpgamer]

Some people are not paying attention to the comic. If a keyed lock, not a combination one, and that makes the fiddling so much more time consuming.

I thought it was both, actually. Like, the combination is for aligning the pins so the key can be used.

What people aren't paying attention to is that this is the "Geek-proof" system. Non-geeks will still get away with the valuables.

[project2051]

Some people are not paying attention to the comic. If a keyed lock, not a combination one, and that makes the fiddling so much more time consuming.

I thought it was both, actually. Like, the combination is for aligning the pins so the key can be used.

I thought that is was both too, but that is probably because the safe I have has both. The key locks the combination dial in place so you can't turn it without the key.

[feyayeruka]

oh man, I don't even lock my front door.

[WontonSoup]

Well, it was bound to happen eventually...

I solved a 5x5 Rubik's Cube yesterday for the first time. O_o
Randall, get out of my head!!!

[scalziand]

Sony must have a lot of shoeboxes.

[serrath]

Oooh, but there is a weakness. A skillful hacker might take a peek in the shoebox to see if you wrote down the combination to the safe or anything else useful.

But obviously, they'd just dig through your valuables, find nothing of use, and get back to cracking that safe.

[JWSmythe]

This is easy. Take everything that looks like it might hold the valuables you're looking for. Come on, even if you drive a little car, you can fit a safe that size, and a shoebox in it.

You'll find the shoebox contents first, of course. But there must be something in a locked safe, right?

Then it's time to open the safe.

Method 1: Kinetic unlocking. Drop it from a window or roof a few stories high, onto a hard surface. Safe pops open. This risks damaging fragile contents. It's kind of obvious for anyone in the area though, and the odds are good a police officer will show up between the time you toss it, and the time it hits the ground.

Method 2: Kinetic unlocking(2) - Slide hammer. If it's a good safe, it won't work, but it'll get you in most consumer grade safes.

Method 3: Kinetic unlocking(2) - Homebrew PETN. Not very quiet, risks fragile contents, and you may lose a finger or ten.

Method 4: Thermal unlocking. Homebrew thermite. Quiet, but bright. 3rd degree burns are a possibility, and any contents that are not heat tolerant may not be in a usable form afterwards. (i.e., the Rubik's Blob, previously known as the Rubik's Cube).

Which brings us back to the classic...

Method 5: $5 wrench and a roll of duct tape. (Commonly referred to as #538). With that, they'll tell you exactly where the valuables are, their ATM PIN, their secret stash of porno, and their daughters virginity. People think they're tough. After an day with Guido, and enough broken bones to keep an orthopedic surgeon busy for months, there is nothing that they won't offer you.

[adho]

Shouldn't the 5x5 Rubik's Cube have two of the colored squares peeled off and swapped for extra security?

I thought any combination of mixed colours is possible with Rubix cubes.
Am I wrong?

Yes, if you swapped a middle square with a corner square it would be unsolvable.

Actually, not true. If you swap, for example, two sides of one cublet, you get parity problems: if you swapped an edge cublet, one edge on the solved cube will be reversed, and so on.

You mean it would still be solvable? If, say, I swapped the middle red sticker with a corner blue sticker. The middle cube of each side can rotate but cannot be moved relative to the other five middle cubes, making it impossible to have one side an entire colour. I think. Anyone with half a brain would work it out, but let's face it, they just cracked a safe instead of a shoebox and now they're fiddling with the toy inside.

[Randomizer]

I think you all are missing the fact that both the safe and the shoebox are equally effective means of protection from geeks: Neither one is connected to the internet.

[Blaisorblade]

I think you all are missing the fact that both the safe and the shoebox are equally effective means of protection from geeks: Neither one is connected to the internet.

I like how this comic is the first actually funny one I see, and how it opened up a long thread of geek-funny stuff to literally (->figuratively, http://xkcd.com/725/) LOL about. Then I turned to #0915, which was funny, too! Thanks XKCD.