0087: "Velociraptors"

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Which are you watching for?

Zombies
92
36%
Velociraptors
164
64%
 
Total votes: 256

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cephalopod9
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Postby cephalopod9 » Thu Sep 27, 2007 5:47 am UTC

I am totally going to think about raptors every time a crow looks down at me and says "graw!" now. As in, "there's probably a dozen more in hiding waiting to attack".
(yeah, my school campus has crows, and dark forrests, and graveyards)
....Did anyone else have that 3D dinosaurs computer game, 'bout 10 or 11 years ago? There was this one part that was a maze that had giant, humming bugs, and ...not velociraptors that would jump out at you if you went the wrong way. I'm going to have to look that up.
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby distributed » Sat Nov 03, 2007 7:44 am UTC

About the comic:
...and for all these thirteen years I thought I was the only one obsessed with sporadic raptor attack simulation and defense. I even had these grand plans for a raptor proof panic room in my house.
Yay... I am not Alone !!
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Re:

Postby bbctol » Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:59 pm UTC

jabberwock33 wrote:Don't forget to prepare for the zombified raptors.


Dammit, now you've made me need to go back and recheck my double-padlocked electrified ten foot tall fence, just in case.

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Quantum Potatoid » Sun Nov 04, 2007 2:33 am UTC

Zombies are really slow, compared with the raptors feathery fastness of death. Of course zombies can multiply. It all comes down to how flammable feathers are. Or course, the bright light from any flame could set the healthy ones off into a flash induced rage and you'd have to watch out.
I think birds in general are very viscious creatures, especially the primitive raptoran sorts. Imagine a living raptor (Eagles, Hawks...), imagine those on the ground and then give them working hands. Oh, yes.... the hands are definately an advantage here:
OH NOES!!!
Edit: Link Fix'd
Last edited by Quantum Potatoid on Thu Nov 08, 2007 1:05 am UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Meat_Grinder » Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:19 pm UTC

Quantum Potatoid wrote:Zombies are really slow, compared with the raptors feathery fastness of death.

*cough* http://www.thinkgeek.com/books/humor/7838/action/ *cough*

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Quantum Potatoid » Thu Nov 08, 2007 1:04 am UTC

Now that's frightening...
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Kythyria » Sat Nov 10, 2007 11:31 am UTC

Quantum Potatoid wrote:Zombies are really slow, compared with the raptors feathery fastness of death. Of course zombies can multiply. It all comes down to how flammable feathers are. Or course, the bright light from any flame could set the healthy ones off into a flash induced rage and you'd have to watch out.
I think birds in general are very viscious creatures, especially the primitive raptoran sorts. Imagine a living raptor (Eagles, Hawks...), imagine those on the ground and then give them working hands. Oh, yes.... the hands are definately an advantage here:
OH NOES!!!
Edit: Link Fix'd

Raptors can multiply too, just not as fast (unless they learn to use cloning facilities).

Now, that gun is just evil. However it is also really, really, cool. I'd want a big pile of those guns in case of a raptor or zombie attack. Then I'd want a nuclear bunker to hide in with a massive supercomputer while a horde of highly advanced robotic raptors (wielding the guns) go and slaughter the zombies or the raptors (whichever is attacking). The robots are, of course, why I need the supercomputer - to control them. Direct brain-to-computer hookup would be good, but the capacity of the human brain to directly control multiple "bodies" is still limited.

Actually, maybe that bunker should be located in orbit. I'd have to use video feeds from the robots' vision subsystems to see what's going on, but I'd be rather hard to get at.

Another important factor is: Will the raptors/zombies destroy the internet?
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Aniviller » Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:03 pm UTC

Kythyria wrote:Another important factor is: Will the raptors/zombies destroy the internet?

That's the real problem because you can't even trust pigeons/owls to distribute messages as they are birds, like raptors.

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Bluecold » Sat Nov 10, 2007 3:42 pm UTC

Raptors.
Proof:

A zombie is killed with a shotgun blast to the head.
A raptor is killed with multiple rocket launcher hits.
Not only are rocketlaunchers rarer than shotguns, rockets are harder to come by than shotgun shells ánd shotguns are easier to operate and maintain.

Even though there are more zombies, they'd still be outnumbered by shotguns.


QED

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby tiny » Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:29 pm UTC

I've already had bad dreams about raptors as well as zombies, but since I'm a real child of Ye Olde World and a big fan of the 18th/19th century, zombies are my greatest fear.
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Kythyria » Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:25 am UTC

Bluecold wrote:Raptors.
A zombie is killed with a shotgun blast to the head.
A raptor is killed with multiple rocket launcher hits.
Not only are rocketlaunchers rarer than shotguns, rockets are harder to come by than shotgun shells ánd shotguns are easier to operate and maintain.

I'm not sure that's the whole story. Depending on the skull thickness, body chemistry and so forth, there's no reason a well placed bullet can't stop a raptor, and no reason tranquilliser darts won't either, at least for long enough to kill the raptors by sharp instruments, thermite, high explosive, or electricity.

If you had time (and a lab in a raptor-proof location) I'm sure you could create a disease that infected all the raptors, with no symptoms or lethality until some external factor comes into play to suddenly make the disease pathogens start killing the raptors. The few immune raptors left would be relatively easy to destroy, due to reduced numbers and a relatively long reproductive cycle compared to the speed at which a concerted effort could root them out.

And yes, there are raptor proof locations. Unfortunately, they are mainly military command posts built to withstand nuclear attacks, so there probably aren't any biotech labs there.

Is there any way to get raptors that are PERMANENTLY on our side (no real chance of successful defection or rebellion)? Zombies are dead humans, so raptors will shred them like they do live humans, and raptors with backup from human technology ought to be more than a match for other raptors who had to steal technology or develop it from scratch.

Bluecold wrote:Even though there are more zombies, they'd still be outnumbered by shotguns.

They can also reproduce extremely fast - some sources say simply by biting normal humans, or by reanimating the recently dead. However, there is nothing to say zombies keep their structural integrity for very long, and will thus end up very, very easy to destroy by means of blunt instruments, deep holes, and so forth. Thus with suitable facilities, one could wait for the zombies to become weak from time, then kill them with reduced difficulty.

Aniviller wrote:
Kythyria wrote:Another important factor is: Will the raptors/zombies destroy the internet?

That's the real problem because you can't even trust pigeons/owls to distribute messages as they are birds, like raptors.


Having thought about it, zombies probably won't destroy the net, since they are dumb, dead, humans. Raptors are lots smarter and might try to destroy it.

The internet is something the producers of zombie movies probably haven't thought about. Once the zombies are detected, news of the detection can spread at truly enormous rates, meaning the necessary quantity of weaponry can be marshalled to the location much faster, destroying the zombies before the infection can spread.
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby pKp » Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:57 pm UTC

The thing is, when the day comes, we probably won't be that much prepared, as we are not all zombie/raptor-paranoid. So, the question is : in case of a surprise outburst, where you have to improvise with what you've got, which ones are most dangerous ? Zombies ? You can still run, lock yourself up in a mall or whatnot, and play Dead Rising until you get low on food. Raptors, on the other hand...
Dialogue :
A Guy : Hey, they say on the news that there's a raptor outbur...ARGH !
Another Guy : Mike ? Mike ?! MIIKK....ARGH !

These bastards are just too fast !
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby a386 » Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:39 pm UTC

i think more about zombies than raptors, sizing up locations for a zombie apocalypse is sort of second nature. This thread raised alot of questions in my head though ... maybe raptors are the greater threat. you never hear of a raptor apocalypse. they don't spread like zombies. i guess here's how it breaks down for me : head for head, unit for unit, a raptor is a bigger threat than a zombie. however, a zombie outbreak has the potential to be an epidemic, where a few raptors would probably eventually be shot or something. so my chances of running into those raptors, should they escape somewhere, is pretty low. the zombie pandemic though will ravage the country and eventually reach my little slice of suburbia. and then those of us who live in the costco now will figure out how to grow food there, and start our own new civilization as the outside world rots.

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Black ICE » Sun Nov 11, 2007 11:22 pm UTC

Zombies are slow and slugish and easy to out smart. Velociraptors on the other hand are faster, and smarter than zombies. Also, Velociraptors caused 9/11 :shock:

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Kin » Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:24 pm UTC

The "You may select one option is eery.

:(

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby jwolf » Thu Nov 15, 2007 2:09 am UTC

Raptors scare me more and are harder to defend against, but zombies are a more likely threat.

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby redneckracin » Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:07 pm UTC

If movies have taught me anything...and they have, its that zombies are a more realistic threat to humanity.
There could be a sudden mutation of an animal disease that jumps over to the human populous or a bio-tech experiment went horribly wrong. Both of these possibilities are very real.

In the event of such an outbreak I do have a plan which involves getting firearms and occupying Walmart and Home Depot until winter comes and freezes the zombie hoards to death (i live in Canada). In case of a breach of my already planed outer perimeter defenses I will have assigned survivors to teams who are assigned to the defense of key points in the stores and made weapons caches through out the store.

I have yet to make a plan for a sudden velociraptor outbreak

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby JediWIngKnight » Sat Nov 17, 2007 6:28 am UTC

Here's another combo idea. Battle Royale meets Saw with Velociraptors:

Kidnap 30 people and place them on an island. Each one wakes up wearing a backpack containing an interesting weapon and, of course, fitted with an explosive-filled bio-sensor collar. One person gets no weapons but has a gps unit that displays locations of all people.

Every 5 minutes that goes by in which nobody has been killed, 3 Velociraptors are released on the island. Tense 10-9-8 countdowns are announced through loudspeakers leading up to each possible release. As in BR, the collars enforce anti-camping rules if you stay in one place too long. The last person remaining must defeat the remaining raptors to leave the island.

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Kin » Sat Nov 17, 2007 12:24 pm UTC

Bwahahaha!!


One guy.....vs 29 raptors with weapons....
(As it would within an hour turn out)

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby toughlove » Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:26 am UTC

dude, im worried about raptors. i had a dream when i was 7, that i was running from them, then i turned around and said "eat me, not my friends." he said "ok" AND I WAS EATEN!

so yeah. i dont have dreamboys telling me co-ordinates, i have dream raptors eating me.

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Kythyria » Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:55 am UTC

Kin wrote:Bwahahaha!!


One guy.....vs 29 raptors with weapons....
(As it would within an hour turn out)

What if he [the guy] has developed a bulletproof technique for getting the raptors on his side. 29 raptors and a human. Remember, humans DO fear death. Cowards make better strategists, because they aren't willing to just charge in and start slaying people, but would rather come up with an actual plan.

29 armed raptors with a human advisor. Having someone to clue them in on the best way of attacking human facilities will lead to far less stoppable slaying (imagine if the raptors had control of NORAD), and far more total pwnage of the human race (there'd be pwnage anyway, but this way it would be MORE total and faster)

Is it bad that I'm wondering what it would be like to be on the receiving end of a device that turns humans into raptors (and the other way round)? If I were a raptor I wouldn't exterminate humans so much as farm them...
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby simagule » Fri Nov 23, 2007 9:28 pm UTC

i know this has nothing to do with any of the posts before hand, but i know they is a lot of stuff on raptors here and i love the comic and i found this image and i thought i should let u all know, or should that be warn u?

Image

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sat Nov 24, 2007 4:35 am UTC

The back end should be labelled "exhaust".
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Re:

Postby Cytoplasm » Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:04 pm UTC

space_raptor wrote:Are you kidding me? Zombies? Zombies move slower than my dead grandmother, they're easy as pie to kill, and their idea of an attack plan is slowly walking into gunfire and samurai swords. Zombies are pathetic.

Raptors distract you from the front while the others get you from the sides. THEY CAN OPEN DOORS. They can run faster than you, jump higher than you, and slice you open quicker than you can say "Oh me yarm raptors". Then you are still alive when they stop to eat you.

You all need to show a little respect.


Of course raptors > zombies. But, if it's the zombies from Dawn of the Dead, I would take raptors anyday. At least you won't turn into a raptor if it bites you.

Oh, and I'm preparing for zombies if ever. I'm bad with scary movies and zombies have frightened me more than raptors (I love Jurasic Park).
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Cytoplasm » Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:12 pm UTC

JediWIngKnight wrote:Here's another combo idea. Battle Royale meets Saw with Velociraptors:

Kidnap 30 people and place them on an island. Each one wakes up wearing a backpack containing an interesting weapon and, of course, fitted with an explosive-filled bio-sensor collar. One person gets no weapons but has a gps unit that displays locations of all people.

Every 5 minutes that goes by in which nobody has been killed, 3 Velociraptors are released on the island. Tense 10-9-8 countdowns are announced through loudspeakers leading up to each possible release. As in BR, the collars enforce anti-camping rules if you stay in one place too long. The last person remaining must defeat the remaining raptors to leave the island.


I love you for this idea.
Last edited by Cytoplasm on Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:17 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Quantum Potatoid » Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:27 pm UTC

simagule wrote:i know this has nothing to do with any of the posts before hand, but i know they is a lot of stuff on raptors here and i love the comic and i found this image and i thought i should let u all know, or should that be warn u?

Image

Also, if you look into any birds eyes (preferable chicken's or ratite's eyes) you can still see the blood thirsty murderous look in their eyes from millions of years ago. And chickens are vicious too. :D We should look out for the modern birds too, raptors may want to recruit their modern day relatives. I can just imagine raptors riding cassowaries (Extremely vicious ratites with 6 inch killing spikes for defense) as mounts carrying guns.
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sun Nov 25, 2007 9:26 pm UTC

Quantum Potatoid wrote:And chickens are vicious too. :D
Just ask any Zelda veteran.
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Kin » Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:41 am UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
Quantum Potatoid wrote:And chickens are vicious too. :D
Just ask any Zelda veteran.

Tehe :)

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby pKp » Mon Nov 26, 2007 1:22 am UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
Quantum Potatoid wrote:And chickens are vicious too. :D
Just ask any Zelda veteran.

Or anyone that has already fed chickens. *shudders*
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Re:

Postby Spoffin » Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:32 am UTC

6453893 wrote:I heard they had definitive proof that the entire raptor family had feathers, establishing an evolutionary link to modern birds.

Does that make raptors less scary or birds more scary?

I think both.

My question though: we all know that the raptors in Jurassic park were more like utahraptors than velociraptors. But is the name "velociraptor" more scary because of the association; when we've seen them in action, they've been called that, or did the producers of Jurassic park call them velociraptors because the name already sounded scarier?
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby redneckracin » Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:02 pm UTC

the ignorance displayed here in regards to the ever present zombie threat here is appalling!

I suggest you read "the zombie survival guide" by Max Brooks and educate yourselves

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby tom333 » Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:45 am UTC

totally zombies... whats the point trying to be aware of raptor activities and trying to prevent them... the only things you will be aware of will be the things they want you to be aware of... and we're all doomed anyway.. atleast with zombies if you have a cricket bat and a pub to go to... you can probably be safe
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby tom333 » Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:47 am UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
Quantum Potatoid wrote:And chickens are vicious too. :D
Just ask any Zelda veteran.


lol that always cracks me up... i dont know why... its like the king zora shuffle in ocarina of time... hilarious
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby i like pi » Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:39 pm UTC

I fear neither... It is the computers that are out to get us... we can get away from zombies. we can get away from raptors. we however, cannot escape robots.
Or something to that effect. Hell, I don't know.

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sat Dec 15, 2007 5:26 am UTC

Indeed. The revolution has already begun. Ever fight a CD drive?
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby BrainSlugs83 » Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:15 pm UTC

i like pi wrote:I fear neither... It is the computers that are out to get us... we can get away from zombies. we can get away from raptors. we however, cannot escape robots.


finally somone speaks some sense. Zombies are slow and stupid, and raptors are mostly extinct... And the few remaining are all busy pretending to be jesus on 4chan...

The robot uprising, on the other hand, is nigh. And the internet won't be there to protect you... it won't be "down" per-say, we'd notice that. There just wouldn't be any way to spread the news of the impending doomsday...

Robots can open doors, jump higher than you, don't feel pain, and don't NEED to reproduce. Hell, they don't NEED to open your doors... you've got enough electronic gadgetry in your house, you fucking geeks, you're as good as dead anyway.

edit:
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:Indeed. The revolution has already begun. Ever fight a CD drive?

This is teh badass: http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/ITAPPMONROBOT.aspx

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Quantum Potatoid » Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:21 am UTC

Hmmm, while zombies may be able to 'reproduce' by biting. And Raptors do have correctly functioning brains... what would happen if there were to be a 'were-raptor'. They have functioning brains, and they can reproduce by laying eggs, and biting people! The only weakness is that they would have to wait for a full moon...That would be cool, aside from having to sprout feathers every full moon only to have to do all of the nasty shedding the next day.
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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Supa-Man » Sun Mar 09, 2008 1:36 pm UTC

This is a tricky question, because it depends how massive the zombie/raptor attack is. Raptors individually are more dangerous than zombies, but in large numbers a mass of zombies is a greater threat. Think about it this way:

If you're at home watching TV and a single zombie attacks you, you have a fighting chance to survive, but if a single raptor attacks you, you're dead. However, if 100 raptors were let loose in the middle of the city, there'd be lots of dying, but the cops and the national guard would be able to put them down. If 100 zombies were let loose in the middle of the city, they would attack others and multiply at an exponential rate, and the entire city would quickly be overrun. Thus zombies are a greater threat.
Last edited by Supa-Man on Tue Mar 11, 2008 7:02 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Ar!!!!!

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby cephalopod9 » Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:30 am UTC

Are velociraptors afraid of fire?
Image

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Re: "Velociraptors" Discussion

Postby Prometheus » Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:38 am UTC

Kythyria wrote:And yes, there are raptor proof locations. Unfortunately, they are mainly military command posts built to withstand nuclear attacks, so there probably aren't any biotech labs there.


Are you kidding? That's exactly where biowarfare labs are kept.


Ever since reading the seventh Dresden Files book, I've had a fear of the zombie T-rex.

Hell, I can handle zombies, I have a shotgun and a few hundred rounds of ammo. (Anyone who thinks that is excessive has never owned firearms.) Also access to over 100 other guns. Let the zombies come.

Raptors, I dunno. Some advance warning would be nice so I can make boobietraps. Yeah, the raptors will pwn your ass.
Well I thought it was funny.


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