1907: "Immune System"

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Steve the Pocket
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1907: "Immune System"

Postby Steve the Pocket » Wed Oct 25, 2017 6:26 pm UTC

Image

Mouseover caption: It also helps with negotiation. "Look, if it were up to me, *I'd* accept your offer, but my swarm of autonomous killer cells literally can't be reasoned with. It's out of my hands!"

Oh, it's worse than that. Its only method of protecting you is to kill every living thing that it can't identify as a part of you. And even if that thing is dead, it will put the call out to be on the lookout for more things like it so it can kill them more effectively. And if it has been duped into thinking something innocuous is a threat, it might just kill you in its zeal to wipe that thing out.
cephalopod9 wrote:Only on Xkcd can you start a topic involving Hitler and people spend the better part of half a dozen pages arguing about the quality of Operating Systems.

Baige.

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pkcommando
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby pkcommando » Wed Oct 25, 2017 6:43 pm UTC

My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully automatic military assault rifles with night vision and laser scopes, and we have recently acquired phosphorous grenades, cluster bombs, and anti-personnel fragmentation mines. So when my white blood cells are on patrol recon ordering my blood stream seeking out strangers and other undesirables, if they see any, ANY suspicious looking germs of any kind, they don’t fuck around! They whip out their weapons; they wax the motherfucker and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! Into my colon! There’s no nonsense, there’s no Miranda warning, there’s none of that “three strikes and you’re out” shit, first defense, BAM... into the colon you go!

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Sableagle
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby Sableagle » Wed Oct 25, 2017 6:47 pm UTC

It's a warning this guy might have benefited from issuing:

Image
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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cellocgw
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Oct 25, 2017 6:48 pm UTC

I call shenanigans. When was the last time you saw a meeting where everyone was not only paying attention to the presenter, but nary a tablet, laptop, or phone in sight? Fake News!
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DemonSlayer
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby DemonSlayer » Wed Oct 25, 2017 8:53 pm UTC

This guy is gonna come back again:
https://xkcd.com/725/

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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby Sableagle » Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:12 pm UTC

This comic reminds me of my description of how awesome spiders are. They're nanotech self-deploying anti-mosquito machines that turn potentially disease-bearing insects into more of themselves. How can you not love that defence boost?
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

ericgrau
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby ericgrau » Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:36 am UTC

cellocgw wrote:I call shenanigans. When was the last time you saw a meeting where everyone was not only paying attention to the presenter, but nary a tablet, laptop, or phone in sight? Fake News!


There are only 3 people in the audience and they are less than 10 feet away, so it would be a bit rude to do it to the presenter's face. I think they are pretending to stare intently while their minds are secretly wandering thinking about their electronic games.

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Soupspoon
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby Soupspoon » Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:05 am UTC

It's possible that at least one of them has their favoured device on their knee, beneath the level of the table, subtly tapping it.

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Rombobjörn
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby Rombobjörn » Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:16 pm UTC

DemonSlayer wrote:This guy is gonna come back again:
https://xkcd.com/725/

He might, but then he'd figuratively bark up the wrong tree, because Randall used "literally" literally.

qvxb
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby qvxb » Thu Oct 26, 2017 4:09 pm UTC

Unfortunately, bioinvaders mutate. Before my internal defense cells develop countermeasures, each sneeze produces an offensive mist that will overwhelm your killer cells. Like the mist that covered your pointer before the meeting, witch.

sonar1313
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby sonar1313 » Thu Oct 26, 2017 10:01 pm UTC

Pffft. I know how to restrain my immune system. *pops a Benadryl*

Hekateras
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Re: 1907: "Immune System"

Postby Hekateras » Sat Oct 28, 2017 10:28 am UTC

Fun things to bellow if your autoimmune disorder flares up:

"No! NOOO! How can this be? I'm UNSTOPPABLE-"

While holding out your hands and staring down at your own body, naturally.

Steve the Pocket wrote:Oh, it's worse than that. Its only method of protecting you is to kill every living thing that it can't identify as a part of you. And even if that thing is dead, it will put the call out to be on the lookout for more things like it so it can kill them more effectively. And if it has been duped into thinking something innocuous is a threat, it might just kill you in its zeal to wipe that thing out.


It goes futher. You see, before they can effectively attack the intruder, they have to go through the equivalent of a hacker running a script on a super-computer to guess at the villain's password. Then, and only then, can they kill and destroy.


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