1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

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1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby thunk » Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:23 pm UTC

Image

Alt-text: "The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks."

Yeah, but does it comply with the sticker-tolling standards for those of us in the Sunbelt?
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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby drazen » Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:26 pm UTC

Do any toll booths even have the coin buckets anymore? All I ever see anymore is Cash Only with an attendant, E-Z Pass lanes, or pure electronic tolling.

I remember buying tokens to get the discount, then mastering being able to hit the bucket while rolling through fairly quickly, but that useless talent was rendered obsolete with E-Z Pass (or "SunPass" in Florida).

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Soupspoon » Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:40 pm UTC

Ha! Not ePaper, but newsPaper!

And I was reading about LORAN, again, not that long ago...

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:55 pm UTC

The toll booths for the Dartford Crossing (down somewhere in England) no longer uses cash or electronic passes. It uses your numberplate and bills you later. If you don't sign in to their website and pay your toll within a few weeks, they issue you with a fine.

The phone itself needs more ports. Or less ports. Ports!!!!!!

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:09 pm UTC

Anyone beside me read "IBM Buckling-Spring" as a reference to a design or patent owned by IBM based on research by Messrs Buckling and Spring?


Wee Red Bird wrote:The phone itself needs more ports. Or less ports. Ports!!!!!!


I'd like at least two ports: Warre's and some Ruby. Not to be confused with a virtual port of your code to Ruby
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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Scott Auld » Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:15 pm UTC

I lost it at the squelch knob.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Soupspoon » Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:20 pm UTC

Scott Auld wrote:I lost it at the squelch knob.

Sssshhhhhh!

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby orthogon » Fri Mar 10, 2017 3:51 pm UTC

I thought "cot-caught" was something to do with fishing methods. "Yah, I only ever buy cot-caught sea bass. It's delicious served on a bed of quinoa".
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Mar 10, 2017 4:59 pm UTC

You mean a cot of quinoa? (Or perhaps a hammock...?)
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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Zinho » Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:14 pm UTC

Would a Model-M style key on a smartphone have a short enough stroke length to allow for Morse as an input method? There should totally be an app for that :twisted:

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Valentiores » Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:30 pm UTC

Is the hook shot a reference to Zelda games, or something else?

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby TheEngineer » Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:30 pm UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:The toll booths for the Dartford Crossing (down somewhere in England) no longer uses cash or electronic passes. It uses your numberplate and bills you later. If you don't sign in to their website and pay your toll within a few weeks, they issue you with a fine.

The phone itself needs more ports. Or less ports. Ports!!!!!!

A few WEEKS! .... You have until midnight the following day!
And where's the Centronics parallel printer port gone? I think I'll keep my xkcd Phone 4 for now.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby ps.02 » Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:38 pm UTC

Yeah, but is this thing tempting enough to buy this instead of health insurance?
(Insert outdated joke about nerd gear obviating affordable prescription contraception.)
I dunno, that Model M home button sounds pretty sweet.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Bounty » Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:40 pm UTC

TheEngineer wrote:And where's the Centronics parallel printer port gone? I think I'll keep my xkcd Phone 4 for now.
Scott Auld wrote:I lost it at the squelch knob.


It has HOOK SHOT! All we need is a Wrist Mounted case and we've got a serviceable Bat Cable replacement!

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby da Doctah » Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:50 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:You mean a cot of quinoa? (Or perhaps a hammock...?)


No, the Bed of Quinoa was a rock formation given mythological significance by the ancient Etruscans. Unfortunately, since there are no long any Etruscans around, nobody today has any idea what that significance was.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Keyman » Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:56 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:I thought "cot-caught" was something to do with fishing methods. "Yah, I only ever buy cot-caught sea bass. It's delicious served on a bed of quinoa".

I thought it was a thing to help us out with all the accent/pronunciation differences we got-gaught going on here at times. :)
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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Soupspoon » Fri Mar 10, 2017 7:41 pm UTC

Keyman wrote:
orthogon wrote:I thought "cot-caught" was something to do with fishing methods. "Yah, I only ever buy cot-caught sea bass. It's delicious served on a bed of quinoa".

I thought it was a thing to help us out with all the accent/pronunciation differences we got-gaught going on here at times. :)

It ot to be!

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby abridgerToNi » Fri Mar 10, 2017 7:47 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
Keyman wrote:I thought it was a thing to help us out with all the accent/pronunciation differences we got-gaught going on here at times. :)

It ot to be!

I dunno, I think it's just a spell-checker for that one tiny error.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby HES » Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:37 pm UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:The toll booths for the Dartford Crossing (down somewhere in England) no longer uses cash or electronic passes. It uses your numberplate and bills you later.

As do most of the road tolls in Norway. At least with those ones you do have weeks to pay.
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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby azule » Sat Mar 11, 2017 12:02 am UTC

Pokémon reference. Eating them. Is that also a PETA reference?
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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby RogueCynic » Sat Mar 11, 2017 5:02 am UTC

Let me know when the XKCD phone is advanced enough to connect my Palm Pilot VX.
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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Mikeski » Sat Mar 11, 2017 5:02 am UTC

Zinho wrote:Would a Model-M style key on a smartphone have a short enough stroke length to allow for Morse as an input method? There should totally be an app for that :twisted:

Not surprisingly, there are apps for that. Google "iphone morse code keyboard". Telekey, Morseboard, iDitDah...

(I'm sure there are similar apps for phones other than i, also.)

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby ManaUser » Sat Mar 11, 2017 5:45 am UTC

The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Soupspoon » Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:17 am UTC

ManaUser wrote:The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.


I currently use my left eye for work-related logins, my right eye for leisure/entertainment logins and my third eye for all those spirituality bunkum sites that I like trolling...

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Muswell » Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:47 pm UTC

ManaUser wrote:The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.


For me it's never so much been carrying extras that's been a problem as the hassle of having to replace them every three months, which my work's systems insist on.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Mikeski » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:40 pm UTC

Muswell wrote:
ManaUser wrote:The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.

For me it's never so much been carrying extras that's been a problem as the hassle of having to replace them every three months, which my work's systems insist on.

The retina strength requirements are what bother me. "Must have at least two eye colors; must include one non-mammalian eye; cannot reuse any of the past twelve eyes..."

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Old Bruce » Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:05 pm UTC

Mikeski wrote:
Muswell wrote:
ManaUser wrote:The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.

For me it's never so much been carrying extras that's been a problem as the hassle of having to replace them every three months, which my work's systems insist on.

The retina strength requirements are what bother me. "Must have at least two eye colors; must include one non-mammalian eye; cannot reuse any of the past twelve eyes..."

Would it be correct to have a battery of horse irises stapled to the phone?

edit for typo.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby gd1 » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:59 pm UTC


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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby iabervon » Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:38 am UTC

Personally, I'm holding out for one with a dome-switch touch screen.

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Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:23 am UTC

TheEngineer wrote:A few WEEKS! .... You have until midnight the following day!


I've avoided the area for quite a few years now, though I did have a DartTag at one point.


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