1615: "Red Car"

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1615: "Red Car"

Postby eviloatmeal » Fri Dec 11, 2015 8:36 am UTC

Image
Title text: "That guy only drives an alkaline car to overcompensate for his highly acidic penis."

That guy only drives a red car so it doesn't blueshift out of the visible spectrum when driving toward an observer.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Envelope Generator » Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:10 am UTC

That guy only draws a comic strip to overcompensate for his tragic penis.
I'm going to step off the LEM now... here we are, Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat

eSOANEM wrote:If Fonzie's on the order of 100 zeptokelvin, I think he has bigger problems than difracting through doors.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby eviloatmeal » Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:19 am UTC

Envelope Generator wrote:That guy only draws a comic strip to overcompensate for his tragic penis.

That guy only draws stick figures to compensate for his girthy member.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Steve the Pocket » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:07 am UTC

That guitar only drives a mink car to compensate for its hard, wooden neck and headstock.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Envelope Generator » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:45 am UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:
Envelope Generator wrote:That guy only draws a comic strip to overcompensate for his tragic penis.

That guy only draws stick figures to compensate for his non-stick member.


ftfy
I'm going to step off the LEM now... here we are, Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat

eSOANEM wrote:If Fonzie's on the order of 100 zeptokelvin, I think he has bigger problems than difracting through doors.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby orthogon » Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:19 am UTC

I liked this one, particularly the use of "cyan", which I'd like to hear more in normal speech outside the fields of printing or computer graphics. "That's a beautiful cyan dress!" etc.

I did, however, have a bit of a Fridge Logic moment. The "car compensating for small penis" meme isn't really about the car being opposite or complementary in this sense. At least, it's not that a guy drives a big car to compensate for his small dick. Typically the car is smart, fast, powerful or shiny, but not necessarily big. If it were about size, then the meme would be associated more with estate cars (=station wagons), vans or pickups rather than sports cars. The sense in which it compensates is that the car is impressive, ostentatious and conspicuous, not that it's big.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby da Doctah » Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:33 am UTC

I drive an old car, and a cheap one, so this premise obviously doesn't work.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Flumble » Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:08 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:I did, however, have a bit of a Fridge Logic moment. The "car compensating for small penis" meme isn't really about the car being opposite or complementary in this sense. At least, it's not that a guy drives a big car to compensate for his small dick. Typically the car is smart, fast, powerful or shiny, but not necessarily big. If it were about size, then the meme would be associated more with estate cars (=station wagons), vans or pickups rather than sports cars. The sense in which it compensates is that the car is impressive, ostentatious and conspicuous, not that it's big.

Hmm, I know the compensation meme/idiom in two semidistinct ways: one is compensating with something big for a small penis, the other is compensating with something posh/expensive/attractive for not being attractive in general.

Although the first meaning can also be a mixup in my head with the insecure meme/idiom.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:34 pm UTC

Probably still safe to drive red cars, tho' completely made-up statistics prove red cars are 5 times more likely to be stopped for speeding;

but I strongly recommend against even going near a red car that's owned and operated by Starfleet Command.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Reecer6 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:40 pm UTC

I saw a dude driving a hybrid car the other day, and I just knew they were compensating for their penis which runs on neither gas NOR electricity.

I think it might've been hydrogen-powered.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Kit. » Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:51 pm UTC

Oh, speaking of which... have you seen Jeff Bezos's hydrogen-powered penis?

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby rmsgrey » Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:28 pm UTC

Flumble wrote:
orthogon wrote:I did, however, have a bit of a Fridge Logic moment. The "car compensating for small penis" meme isn't really about the car being opposite or complementary in this sense. At least, it's not that a guy drives a big car to compensate for his small dick. Typically the car is smart, fast, powerful or shiny, but not necessarily big. If it were about size, then the meme would be associated more with estate cars (=station wagons), vans or pickups rather than sports cars. The sense in which it compensates is that the car is impressive, ostentatious and conspicuous, not that it's big.

Hmm, I know the compensation meme/idiom in two semidistinct ways: one is compensating with something big for a small penis, the other is compensating with something posh/expensive/attractive for not being attractive in general.

Although the first meaning can also be a mixup in my head with the insecure meme/idiom.


The middle-aged man driving a Ferrari is also a thing, but it's a separate thing from the guy-with-perfect-looks driving a Ferrari, who is assumed to have some sort of hidden flaw to make up for his lack of visible flaws - possibly through envious wishful thinking, or possibly through observing that people who really do have everything they could want don't need to advertise how perfect their life is - they just get on with enjoying it...

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:37 pm UTC

rmsgrey wrote:The middle-aged man driving a Ferrari is also a thing, but it's a separate thing from the guy-with-perfect-looks driving a Ferrari, who is assumed to have some sort of hidden flaw to make up for his lack of visible flaws - possibly through envious wishful thinking, or possibly through observing that people who really do have everything they could want don't need to advertise how perfect their life is - they just get on with enjoying it...


Just for the record,

When I win the multi-hundred-million dollar lottery, here's the car I'm gonna get. Start with a nice big Bentley sedan, repaint it metallic sea-foam green, add pink "Big Daddy"-style flame patterns, put in an undercarriage lighting system, adjustable air-suspension, a 1500-watt subwoofer in the trunk that'll bounce other cars right off the road, and of course fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby NeatNit » Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:47 pm UTC

This is an IRC log from fucking last night

Code: Select all

[22:40:02] <PolarBear> penises come in all shapes and sizes
[22:40:11] <NeatNit> and colors!
[22:40:13] <PolarBear> yes
[22:40:21] <NeatNit> mine is cyan


Get out of QuakeNet Randall!!

Spoiler:
That's 20:40 UTC

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby suso » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:02 pm UTC

Thanks Randall, now I won't feel so awkward posting my sex joke to @climagic today.
Imagine theres no signatures....

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby cryptoengineer » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:08 pm UTC

rmsgrey wrote:
Flumble wrote:
orthogon wrote:I did, however, have a bit of a Fridge Logic moment. The "car compensating for small penis" meme isn't really about the car being opposite or complementary in this sense. At least, it's not that a guy drives a big car to compensate for his small dick. Typically the car is smart, fast, powerful or shiny, but not necessarily big. If it were about size, then the meme would be associated more with estate cars (=station wagons), vans or pickups rather than sports cars. The sense in which it compensates is that the car is impressive, ostentatious and conspicuous, not that it's big.

Hmm, I know the compensation meme/idiom in two semidistinct ways: one is compensating with something big for a small penis, the other is compensating with something posh/expensive/attractive for not being attractive in general.

Although the first meaning can also be a mixup in my head with the insecure meme/idiom.


The middle-aged man driving a Ferrari is also a thing, but it's a separate thing from the guy-with-perfect-looks driving a Ferrari, who is assumed to have some sort of hidden flaw to make up for his lack of visible flaws - possibly through envious wishful thinking, or possibly through observing that people who really do have everything they could want don't need to advertise how perfect their life is - they just get on with enjoying it...


I drive a very anonymous metallic silver Altima, like a jillion other 4 door silver sedans out there. But mine has a 3.5 liter engine, 270 HP, and sports suspension. 0-60 in 6.6. I can smoke almost
anyone at the stoplight (and more importantly, do highway merges without fear). So I guess that's going to the other extreme.

However, if I won the lottery, and bought myself a supercar, I'd flaunt it. Dayglo orange or something like that. There's no point in humblebragging by painting a car like that a quiet color.
...and yes, I'm a balding middle aged guy.

ce

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby thevicente » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:20 pm UTC

I just realized a correlation between the facts that I drive a average-sized car and I have an average-sized penis.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby 80-watt Hamster » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:27 pm UTC

As a person who's been into cars most of my life, the "sports car as compensation" thing always bothered me, even as a kid. I wanted a cool car but couldn't have one, and rationalized that the middle-aged guys that did were finally in a financial position that allowed an extraneous purchase of that magnitude. Not too many years ago, I realized a potential hole in that logic; I'd originally presumed that the guys driving "compensation cars" were truly car guys, that they appreciated the vehicle solely on its own merits (speed, handling, beauty, whatever) and on the pleasure that owning/driving that car provided. The possibility that they didn't necessarily care about the car itself, but only (or primarily) on the attention or cachet it brought, whether or not they realized it, was, and still is, a bit foreign to me.

... Does that last sentence scan? That's a lot of commas.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Flumble » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:41 pm UTC

80-watt Hamster wrote:... Does that last sentence scan? That's a lot of commas.

It only once goes two levels and twice one level down, so that's easier to parse than the start of this sentence. (though, that part might actually be invalid English)

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Echo244 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:47 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:I liked this one, particularly the use of "cyan", which I'd like to hear more in normal speech outside the fields of printing or computer graphics. "That's a beautiful cyan dress!" etc.

I did, however, have a bit of a Fridge Logic moment. The "car compensating for small penis" meme isn't really about the car being opposite or complementary in this sense. At least, it's not that a guy drives a big car to compensate for his small dick. Typically the car is smart, fast, powerful or shiny, but not necessarily big. If it were about size, then the meme would be associated more with estate cars (=station wagons), vans or pickups rather than sports cars. The sense in which it compensates is that the car is impressive, ostentatious and conspicuous, not that it's big.


I think the suggestion is that when it's a powerful car, it's compensating for something else lacking... potency. Shiny compensating for something dull. Fast compensating for something... unresponsive. And so on.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby HES » Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:03 pm UTC

I recently got rid of my car. So what does that say?
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby pkcommando » Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:32 pm UTC

thevicente wrote:I just realized a correlation between the facts that I drive a average-sized car and I have an average-sized penis.

I have a penis and have never owned car. Explain that with your precious logic!
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby pkcommando » Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:35 pm UTC

HES wrote:I recently got rid of my car. So what does that say?

Stay away from sharp objects?
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Bysmerian » Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:44 pm UTC

I think I'm reading some salt in the title text.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Envelope Generator » Fri Dec 11, 2015 6:42 pm UTC

HES wrote:I recently got rid of my car. So what does that say?


Your dick is infinite.
I'm going to step off the LEM now... here we are, Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat

eSOANEM wrote:If Fonzie's on the order of 100 zeptokelvin, I think he has bigger problems than difracting through doors.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby orthogon » Fri Dec 11, 2015 7:51 pm UTC

Envelope Generator wrote:
HES wrote:I recently got rid of my car. So what does that say?


Your dick is infinite.

Furthermore, for a person of finite size, as their penis tends to infinity, the proportion represented by the organ tends to 100%. Conclusion: HES is a total dick. Or a god. Nothing between. Or maybe both. Somebody may need to check my working. (Full disclosure: I don't have a car either).
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby SimonMoon5 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 8:36 pm UTC

Nah, it's simpler than that.

A car that doesn't exist is compensating for a penis that does exist.

Which really doesn't say much at all.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Keyman » Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:15 pm UTC

This is mine.
Image

Her name is Vivienne.

Your analysis may begin....now.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Reecer6 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:12 pm UTC

I can tell today's comic has forever changed my thought process because I just saw a bald middle-aged man speeding down a small suburban road near my house in a cyan (well, to be honest, it was more turquoise) convertible, and immediately thought, he's probably compensating for his red penis.

Although, that doesn't work nearly as well because red is close enough to a color a dick can actually be.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:22 pm UTC

Envelope Generator wrote:
HES wrote:I recently got rid of my car. So what does that say?


Your dick is infinite.

That seems really impractical.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:57 pm UTC

If there were an infinite dick, would that mean that the whole universe was fucked?
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Flumble » Sat Dec 12, 2015 1:04 am UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:If there were an infinite dick, would that mean that the whole universe was fucked?

It can be infinite in length or surface area, or even in number of complexions, while taking up a volume smaller than the average penis the average of all finite penises (just to be clear). :)

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You're so insecure about your financial situation that you feel the need to boast about being able to afford a car on an internet forum.
I know I'm right, because everything's wrong with my car.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby ijuin » Sat Dec 12, 2015 1:45 am UTC

How would one apply all of this analysis if the owner/driver is a woman?

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Mikeski » Sat Dec 12, 2015 3:56 am UTC

Genetically, I am a northern-European mutt. I'm so white, I glow.

My car is black.

I cannot refute this comic.
Last edited by Mikeski on Sat Dec 12, 2015 5:36 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Copper Bezel » Sat Dec 12, 2015 5:24 am UTC

My car was recently repossessed. I was also born with a penis but have terribly little attachment to it.

I got nothing.
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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby rmsgrey » Sat Dec 12, 2015 3:25 pm UTC

ijuin wrote:How would one apply all of this analysis if the owner/driver is a woman?

It depends - do they co-ordinate their car with their regular penis, or do they match it with what their regular penis would drive?

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby ps.02 » Sat Dec 12, 2015 4:49 pm UTC

ijuin wrote:How would one apply all of this analysis if the owner/driver is a woman?

It doesn't, really, because women don't compensate so much anyway - 77% as much as men's rate of compensation. Or so I heard.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Envelope Generator » Sat Dec 12, 2015 6:16 pm UTC

ijuin wrote:How would one apply all of this analysis if the owner/driver is a woman?


She can afford to be a shallow person because...
I'm going to step off the LEM now... here we are, Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat

eSOANEM wrote:If Fonzie's on the order of 100 zeptokelvin, I think he has bigger problems than difracting through doors.

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Copper Bezel » Sat Dec 12, 2015 6:23 pm UTC

ps.02 wrote:
ijuin wrote:How would one apply all of this analysis if the owner/driver is a woman?

It doesn't, really, because women don't compensate so much anyway - 77% as much as men's rate of compensation. Or so I heard.

*Like*
So much depends upon a red wheel barrow (>= XXII) but it is not going to be installed.

she / her / her

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Re: 1615: "Red Car"

Postby Flumble » Sun Dec 13, 2015 5:02 pm UTC

Copper Bezel wrote:
ps.02 wrote:
ijuin wrote:How would one apply all of this analysis if the owner/driver is a woman?

It doesn't, really, because women don't compensate so much anyway - 77% as much as men's rate of compensation. Or so I heard.

*Funnies*

HITFY


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