1603: "Flashlights"

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1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Linux0s » Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:57 am UTC

Image

Title text:
"Due to a typo, I initially found a forum for serious Fleshlight enthusiasts, and it turns out their highest-end models are ALSO capable of setting trees on fire. They're impossible to use without severe burns, but some of them swear it's worth it."

Uh-huh... a typo.
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Confusion » Fri Nov 13, 2015 10:27 am UTC

I guess Randall just discovered http://www.candlepowerforums.com/vb/forum.php

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby RAGBRAIvet » Fri Nov 13, 2015 11:04 am UTC

"...the trees are on fire."

Reference to the 1975 movie "Rollerball"?

Image
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Laeraren » Fri Nov 13, 2015 11:34 am UTC

Yeah, I used one of these last time I interrogated a subversive element, but rather than a confession, all I got was Aaaaah, I'm blind, I'm blind! My flesh is cooking!

6/10 would not buy again.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Mental Mouse » Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:01 pm UTC

Confusion wrote:I guess Randall just discovered http://www.candlepowerforums.com/vb/forum.php


I note that they've already put up a post for this comic.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:07 pm UTC

I do like a good flashlight (or torch as we call them over in the UK) and have recently upgraded my usual pocket pen torch from incandescent to LED. Severely kicks the old ones butt.
Might look at my heavy duty one. It has a large reflector and takes those large 6V lantern batteries (the ones that can be replaced by 4 D cell batteries) though I'm worried a modern equivalent could take out light aircraft.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby pkcommando » Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:19 pm UTC

One of my cousins back in the 90s had a 1 million candlepower spotlight that he plugged into his car's cigarette lighter. His car was also very quiet, so he loved waiting until he knew we'd all be at one end of the house in the living room w/ the lights in the kitchen/dining room out then he'd pull into our driveway and shine that spotlight through our kitchen window. The first time was the worst, then it became a great running gag.

I'm so glad no one was around when I read this comic. After I burst out laughing at the alt-text, I would've hated explaining to my coworkers what was so funny.
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:21 pm UTC

Forget the photonic output of that device: I want the battery technology!
Looks like that fellow's got petajoules in the palm of his hand. Does Elon know about this?
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby DreadArchon » Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:23 pm UTC

Confusion wrote:I guess Randall just discovered http://www.candlepowerforums.com/vb/forum.php


I love that forum. I like the ones who describe their cooling systems as "turn the flashlight on for no more than five seconds and allow at least 10 minutes to cool down between uses."

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby HES » Fri Nov 13, 2015 1:13 pm UTC

I recently upgraded my front bike light from "vaguely know there's a cyclist there" to "this path is daylight now".

Cueball wrote:Real bright, though

I presume this is an Americanism, as I would use the phrase "Really bright"
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby rmsgrey » Fri Nov 13, 2015 1:37 pm UTC

HES wrote:
Cueball wrote:Real bright, though
I presume this is an Americanism, as I would use the phrase "Really bright"

It appears that the -ly suffix is making a bid for the endangered list here in the UK as well, based on my experience of local language use.

As for the torch, my preferred hand-held illuminator is a 24-LED one which runs off three AAA batteries - and does an adequate job for night-time walks outdoors and a good job indoors - it doesn't exactly light a room, but anything in the beam is well lit on that side.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby cryptoengineer » Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:14 pm UTC

Laeraren wrote:Yeah, I used one of these last time I interrogated a subversive element, but rather than a confession, all I got was Aaaaah, I'm blind, I'm blind! My flesh is cooking!

6/10 would not buy again.


That's from Wicked Lasers. I guess its a new product.

I have a 600 mW blue laser from them, in a similar form factor.

ProTip: 600 mW is a pretty useless power level for a recreational laser. It's bright enough that its well into 'Do not look into laser with remaining eye' territory, but not bright enough to heat up anything in an interesting or useful way. It's a *great* star pointer, but I have to be very, very careful not to point it near airplanes, or anyone on the ground.

ce

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby richP » Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:16 pm UTC

Someone should have warned the unsuspecting not to head to Google if they don't understand the alt text...

eta: guess which forum has a sticky post regarding the best lube to use... flashlight or fleshlight?
Last edited by richP on Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:19 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Whizbang » Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:17 pm UTC

Fleshlight is the new goatse

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby thermopile » Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:31 pm UTC

HES wrote:I recently upgraded my front bike light from "vaguely know there's a cyclist there" to "this path is daylight now".


Ditto. I have the Cygolite Expilion 600 for my early morning bike ride commutes. The single LED in it puts out an impressive amount of power (not quite "set trees on fire" but definitely "light up the path'). Since the unit is pretty small, it's very useful for a lot of other things around the house; would buy again.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby higgs-boson » Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:47 pm UTC

I've enough mobile lightpower to literally call it a day at any given nighttime.

So my latest problem was about having minimum enlightment. Wandering around in the moonlight does not need artificial light support, but the occational forest kept me in the dark despite full moon and clear sky. Turning on LED power ruins nightvision immediately, so you'd have to use the flashlight for the whole way back, moonlight present or not.
I acquired a multicolor LED flashlight and switch it to red... nightvision remains intact. Happy.
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Jorpho » Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:14 pm UTC

Those Cree LEDs are something, all right.

I've still managed to go through quite a few cheap but shockingly brilliant flashlights, though, as the push-button switches still seem to wear out with unfortunate rapidity.
Last edited by Jorpho on Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:35 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby SpringLoaded12 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:32 pm UTC

I'm immediately reminded of this, from a certain, ahem, imageboard.
I apologize for the two offensive replies in the middle on the right.
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby steck » Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:35 pm UTC

"finicky", not "finnicky"

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Steve the Pocket » Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:01 pm UTC

SpringLoaded12 wrote:I'm immediately reminded of this, from a certain, ahem, imageboard.
I apologize for the two offensive replies in the middle on the right.

Man, that site really needs to be blasted into oblivion.
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby yakkoTDI » Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:06 pm UTC

HES wrote:I recently upgraded my front bike light from "vaguely know there's a cyclist there" to "this path is daylight now".


Daylight?! You mean you got one of these?
http://reviews.mtbr.com/review-cateye-volt-6000
The beam pattern photo on page two is what make me want a couple for my bikes. :idea: :mrgreen:


For cycling I currently use the NiteRider Lumina 700 but may upgrade to the Lumina OLED 800.

For walking/hiking I use the Blackburn Central 100 front and Central 20 rear. They are great for the wide beam pattern. They front also works very well when the power goes out at night.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby orthogon » Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:33 pm UTC

HES wrote:I recently upgraded my front bike light from "vaguely know there's a cyclist there" to "this path is daylight now".

Cool stuff is cool and everything, but I'm getting seriously dicked off by the price of bike lights. In a shop the other day they wanted £40 for one light, with the amazingly good deal of "only" £70 for a pair. OK, these were USB rechargeable, but at the end of the day it's just a torch (=flashlight) and you can get those at the pound-shop. I wouldn't mind so much if the things were built to last, but all the lights I've bought in the last few years have given up the ghost after a year or so - the battery terminals stop working or some dry joint develops on the PCB. And they always have the cheapest, crappiest plastic bracket that's only good for about 20 insertions. The temptation to say "If I go to Halfords I can get a bike for £70" was almost irresistible.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby HES » Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:42 pm UTC

There are a multitude of £20 CREE-style lights on Amazon. This is one of those areas where high street stores will rip you off.
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby project2051 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 5:20 pm UTC

I just about caught my 100 year old house on fire with my flashlight the other day. I was trying to see up into a space in the wall from the basement, when the cellulose insulation that was about 4" away from the lens started to smolder and glow. I quickly reached up and knocked it out of the wall, and then a little nervously kept an eye on it for awhile.

This was the flashlight I used when I was inspecting and working on aircraft. It was nice to light up far spots in wings and tail cones, but I had to keep an eye on it when working in tight spaces, because if you left it in one place too long it could start to melt plastic a little over a foot away. It's also rechargeable, which was nice. When I first started working I had 3 D cell lights that I would go through at least one set of batteries a day if not two.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby orthogon » Fri Nov 13, 2015 5:32 pm UTC

HES wrote:There are a multitude of £20 CREE-style lights on Amazon. This is one of those areas where high street stores will rip you off.

Yeah, in the end I ordered a similar looking set from Amazon for £25 for the pair, which also had semi-hilarious results. It turned out that "similar" was indeed the word, in its geometric sense: when i unpacked them they were absolutely tiny, about 4cm long. But my disappointment was short-lived: turn them on, and my goodness me are they bright! So, yes, lighting technology has indeed undergone impressive progress of late.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby cryptoengineer » Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:43 pm UTC

SpringLoaded12 wrote:I'm immediately reminded of this, from a certain, ahem, imageboard.
I apologize for the two offensive replies in the middle on the right.


Less offensive article here:

http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2014 ... archlight/

It's 50 Watts. The much smaller device from Wicked Lasers linked above is 100 Watts.

pt

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby mojo12 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:46 pm UTC

HES wrote:I recently upgraded my front bike light from "vaguely know there's a cyclist there" to "this path is daylight now".

Cueball wrote:Real bright, though

I presume this is an Americanism, as I would use the phrase "Really bright"



I caught that too. I hope it's not an Americanism. I don't know why the 'real v really' issue annoys me so. And I don't get that "fake" kind of annoyed when I see it, I get real annoyed.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby schapel » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:36 pm UTC

mojo12 wrote:I caught that too. I hope it's not an Americanism. I don't know why the 'real v really' issue annoys me so. And I don't get that "fake" kind of annoyed when I see it, I get real annoyed.

What annoys me is when people drive to slow. I mean real slow!

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby cphite » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:41 pm UTC

schapel wrote:
mojo12 wrote:I caught that too. I hope it's not an Americanism. I don't know why the 'real v really' issue annoys me so. And I don't get that "fake" kind of annoyed when I see it, I get real annoyed.

What annoys me is when people drive to slow. I mean real slow!


Me to. I mean serious annoys.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Cervisiae Amatorem » Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:39 pm UTC

I like those candlepowerforums.com guys. I'm a multicopter geek, and those flashlight geeks have done some excellent research on lithium batteries that we both use, specifically all the flavors of 18650's that are available.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby david.windsor » Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:52 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:Fleshlight is the new goatse

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Damn! Thought I'd purged that image...
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby dp2 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:06 pm UTC

mojo12 wrote:
HES wrote:I recently upgraded my front bike light from "vaguely know there's a cyclist there" to "this path is daylight now".

Cueball wrote:Real bright, though

I presume this is an Americanism, as I would use the phrase "Really bright"



I caught that too. I hope it's not an Americanism. I don't know why the 'real v really' issue annoys me so. And I don't get that "fake" kind of annoyed when I see it, I get real annoyed.

Now that it's been brought up, I think I'd like to see some justification for the -ly suffix.

Some of the answers here argue, with examples, that -ly is in fact the newer form.
http://english.stackexchange.com/questi ... verb-forms

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby sotanaht » Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:04 am UTC

Steve the Pocket wrote:
SpringLoaded12 wrote:I'm immediately reminded of this, from a certain, ahem, imageboard.
I apologize for the two offensive replies in the middle on the right.

Man, that site really needs to be blasted into oblivion.


Yes, clearly no one should ever be allowed to speak in such tones.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Jorpho » Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:37 am UTC

orthogon wrote:And they always have the cheapest, crappiest plastic bracket that's only good for about 20 insertions.
You should get one of these velcro ones. After many years of struggling with confounded plastic brackets, I am immensely pleased with this innovation. It can accommodate just about anything and it holds surprisingly well. I'm a little surprised someone hasn't tried to rip it off my bike yet.

Previously I attempted to make do with hardware-store hose clamps – affix one to the handlebars, then loop another one through it at ninety degrees – but those aren't easily adjustable, and someone still managed to walk off with my light once.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby RogueCynic » Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:18 am UTC

I walk across a busy highway late at night 5 nights a week. The streets are well lit but I've almost been hit a few times. I have a reflective vest but drivers don't care. I could use a light like the one in the comic. Where can I get one?
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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby Jorpho » Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:41 am UTC


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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby rmsgrey » Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:48 am UTC

dp2 wrote:Now that it's been brought up, I think I'd like to see some justification for the -ly suffix.

Some of the answers here argue, with examples, that -ly is in fact the newer form.
http://english.stackexchange.com/questi ... verb-forms


I don't know why -ly specifically (possibly a corrupted form of "-like"?), but I'm prepared to argue that there is merit to having some way to distinguish adjectives and adverbs at a glance. There's the occasional actual ambiguity, but most of the time, it's still a little extra processing to figure out that, yes, that is what was meant. Redundancy in language also provides confidence that you're understanding correctly - in an information-efficient language, where every string of characters is a meaningful expression, any typo produces something that's still a meaningful expression, so it's much harder to recognise when a mistake has been made. Meanwhile, in natural language, most typographical errors produce something that's obviously not a valid expression, but only has one plausible intended expression. Dropping the -ly from adverbs strips out one of those redundancies, making it easier and more likely to make a mistake that doesn't get caught by the reader.

Vowels are also mostly redundant - even if you couldn't quite get away with stripping them out entirely, you could pull 90% of the vowels out of a typical piece of prose, and people would still be able to figure out the meaning. There are all sorts of features of language that are there, not because they're essential, but because they're convenient - they make communication that little bit easier, provided people can rely upon you to use the conventions in a standard way.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby da Doctah » Sat Nov 14, 2015 10:40 am UTC

rmsgrey wrote:
dp2 wrote:Now that it's been brought up, I think I'd like to see some justification for the -ly suffix.

Some of the answers here argue, with examples, that -ly is in fact the newer form.
http://english.stackexchange.com/questi ... verb-forms


I don't know why -ly specifically (possibly a corrupted form of "-like"?), but I'm prepared to argue that there is merit to having some way to distinguish adjectives and adverbs at a glance.

Those still in the process of learning English (and in a sense, that's all of us, really) should be warned that just because a word ends in -ly doesn't mean it's an adverb. That's a ghastly, unfriendly, ugly, and silly assumption to make.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby eidako » Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:35 pm UTC

But how are you supposed to tell spooky stories around a campfire, when your flashlight melts your face off like Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Oh, wait.

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Re: 1603: "Flashlights"

Postby rmsgrey » Sat Nov 14, 2015 3:22 pm UTC

da Doctah wrote:
rmsgrey wrote:
dp2 wrote:Now that it's been brought up, I think I'd like to see some justification for the -ly suffix.

Some of the answers here argue, with examples, that -ly is in fact the newer form.
http://english.stackexchange.com/questi ... verb-forms


I don't know why -ly specifically (possibly a corrupted form of "-like"?), but I'm prepared to argue that there is merit to having some way to distinguish adjectives and adverbs at a glance.

Those still in the process of learning English (and in a sense, that's all of us, really) should be warned that just because a word ends in -ly doesn't mean it's an adverb. That's a ghastly, unfriendly, ugly, and silly assumption to make.


True - this may be the only generalisation about English that has no exceptions.


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