The technicalities of reading on the toilet

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The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Zohar » Sun May 03, 2009 12:52 pm UTC

I like to read when I'm sitting on the toilet. When I'm reading something with a softcover it's not very difficult - I usually lay it nicely on my thigh. But when it's a hardcover book, especially a small one like I'm reading right now, it doesn't stay balanced very well. I've tried to place the book on my (dropped) pants but it's a bit too far away to read. Do you have a solution?

In my parents' bathroom in my old house they had a set of drawers right in front of the toilet. You could just draw out a drawer and place the book there. Very comfortable. I wish all bathrooms had built-in shelves.

You may, if you insist, speak in this thread about reading while having a bath. Or even Xtreme reading - in the shower.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby PAstrychef » Sun May 03, 2009 5:07 pm UTC

I just hold the reading material in my hands. This may have more to do with being of the female persuasion than any thing else.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby tgjensen » Sun May 03, 2009 6:41 pm UTC

Nah, nobody's reading while taking a piss.

Personally I don't read on the toilet, mainly because, well, I guess I don't spend enough time there to justify it? It's all about business in there!

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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby podbaydoor » Sun May 03, 2009 10:46 pm UTC

Yeah, I read magazines and I used to read books in the bathroom all the time. I just hold it in my hands. (I am female.)
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby pseudoidiot » Sun May 03, 2009 10:54 pm UTC

Yeah, I just hold the book as well, regardless of size or whether it's paper- or hard-back.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby 6453893 » Tue May 05, 2009 3:19 pm UTC

I could never do this. No offence to everyone else in this thread, but I wouldn't read anything I couldn't throw away straight afterward. A page of the paper, maybe.

I would think hardcovers were easier to manage. With paperbacks, you have to keep the book pried open to read. When I have to handle a hardcover one-handed, I put it in my palm, with two fingers on either side of the book and my thumb inside. Would this work?

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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby SecondTalon » Tue May 05, 2009 6:44 pm UTC

I'm left wondering what the hell you people are doing on the toilet that requires a book that can hold itself open when put on your lap because what the hell are your hands doing? I mean.. yes, I understand there comes a time that you need to put the book down and use your hands for stuff, but before that time?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Spacemilk » Tue May 05, 2009 6:50 pm UTC

Zohar wrote:I like to read when I'm sitting on the toilet. When I'm reading something with a softcover it's not very difficult - I usually lay it nicely on my thigh. But when it's a hardcover book, especially a small one like I'm reading right now, it doesn't stay balanced very well. I've tried to place the book on my (dropped) pants but it's a bit too far away to read. Do you have a solution?

In my parents' bathroom in my old house they had a set of drawers right in front of the toilet. You could just draw out a drawer and place the book there. Very comfortable. I wish all bathrooms had built-in shelves.

You may, if you insist, speak in this thread about reading while having a bath. Or even Xtreme reading - in the shower.


Solution: buy one of those music stands - you know the kind that can move up and down, and you can adjust the angle of the titled surface that holds the book. You can probably find a pretty cheap one, whether it's a used one or new. Or you can make one yourself, if you've got the skills - I don't, but I can imagine how it'd be done. You can even put little decorations and stuff on it when it's not in use, so that people who don't understand the joys of reading on the toilet won't give you weird looks.

I believe reading in the shower is now possible with a plastic-covered Kindle. For reading in the tub . . . I guess you could get a tray that spanned the bathtub (even a plain board works) and you could place one of those document-holders on the tray . . . the holder would have to be big enough for whatever book you're reading. I have never done this; usually I just hold the book out of the water until my arm gets tired.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Izawwlgood » Tue May 05, 2009 6:52 pm UTC

I thought this was going to be a discussion of the serious issues of legs falling asleep. But yeah, Zohar, like ST said, what exactly do you need your hands for that you can't hold a book open?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Zohar » Tue May 05, 2009 7:04 pm UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:I thought this was going to be a discussion of the serious issues of legs falling asleep. But yeah, Zohar, like ST said, what exactly do you need your hands for that you can't hold a book open?

I don't think this is the proper sub-fora to discuss wiping technique. I don't think I'd like to start a thread about that in faid, either.

Maybe I should get a super toilet thing like they have in Japan.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Izawwlgood » Tue May 05, 2009 7:06 pm UTC

I think the first lie I caught my mother telling pertained to a bidet.

But how do you all keep your legs from falling asleep?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Zohar » Tue May 05, 2009 7:16 pm UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:But how do you all keep your legs from falling asleep?

I don't know, I never had that problem, actually.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Spacemilk » Tue May 05, 2009 7:18 pm UTC

Zohar wrote:
Izawwlgood wrote:But how do you all keep your legs from falling asleep?

I don't know, I never had that problem, actually.


Padded toilet seats? They do exist. Or at least ones with simple toilet seat covers. I have never had the luxury in my own home, but I have seen it.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Izawwlgood » Tue May 05, 2009 7:33 pm UTC

Toilet seats come in varieties of luxury?! How did I miss that memo?

EDIT: MY GOD THEY DO! Why would one ever leave such a throne?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Spacemilk » Tue May 05, 2009 7:42 pm UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:Toilet seats come in varieties of luxury?! How did I miss that memo?

EDIT: MY GOD THEY DO! Why would one ever leave such a throne?


So that you can find things with which to fill the toilet!

oh my toilet humor . . . how did I end up here :(
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Flying Betty » Wed May 06, 2009 2:13 am UTC

I don't get the point of reading on the toilet. What do you do that takes so long that it's worth dragging out a book to begin with, and why wouldn't you rather sit someplace more comfortable if you just want to read?

Possible solutions: lean forward, rest elbows on knees and hold book in front of you.
Just hold the book in one hand- two fingers on each side of the spine and flip the pages with your thumb. (I went to grab a book to make sure I was describing it and there isn't one within reach! What's wrong with me?)
Hold it in your hands.

And you can just put in on the ground when you need to wipe. Or throw it across the room to a less toilety corner if you must (just be nice to the book!)
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Amarantha » Wed May 06, 2009 5:24 am UTC

For me it's not a case of dragging out a book to while away a long sitting time, but more a matter of being unwilling to put the book down for even a short time. Some books I read in the loo and others I don't bother.

As far as the bath is concerned, I usually take several books in case I get bored with one. And I always fantasise about having a waterproof one. Maybe I should get a kindle inna plastic bag. But wouldn't that overheat or sweat or something?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Izawwlgood » Wed May 06, 2009 6:12 am UTC

Flying Betty wrote:I don't get the point of reading on the toilet.


Because sitting in small room, even with all the pretty pictures I've put on the wall, is boring, even when my body is doing something utterly hilarious, and I absolutely, more then anything in the world, hate being bored?

And oh look, if I bring a book in with me, or a PSP, suddenly, MAGICALLY, I'm not only not bored, but what should only be a ~5 minute ordeal of boredom can become a 30 minute relaxation session involving release, high drama, epic conflict, and sometimes zombies.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby BMW787 » Wed May 06, 2009 4:17 pm UTC

I read on the toilet so I have a nice relaxing experience. My body has to do these things so I might as well enjoy them.

At my old job and time I had to go #2 I would grab the buisiness section of the paper and announce: "Im gonna read the buisiness while I do my buisiness!"

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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Jorpho » Thu May 07, 2009 4:22 am UTC

I too no longer spend enough time to justify bringing a book with me.

In fact, I would be so bold as to say that anyone who does require such an extensive amount of time should seriously consider increasing his intake of dietary fibre. It's good for your health!

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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby steewi » Thu May 07, 2009 4:43 am UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:
Flying Betty wrote:I don't get the point of reading on the toilet.


Because sitting in small room, even with all the pretty pictures I've put on the wall, is boring, even when my body is doing something utterly hilarious, and I absolutely, more then anything in the world, hate being bored?

And oh look, if I bring a book in with me, or a PSP, suddenly, MAGICALLY, I'm not only not bored, but what should only be a ~5 minute ordeal of boredom can become a 30 minute relaxation session involving release, high drama, epic conflict, and sometimes zombies.


~5 minutes?

If it's more than two, I start thinking about changing my diet.

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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby punkymonkey » Thu May 07, 2009 4:49 am UTC

I usually do crossword puzzles while on the toilet. I find that in reading, I get too engrossed in the book and will typically spend too much time just sitting on the toilet.

Of course.. being a parent.. you typically find any excuse to put yourself into a situation where there's a door between you and your child at some point in the day.

You gotta get the "me" time anywhere and any way that you can.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby d33p » Thu May 07, 2009 5:22 am UTC

If standing, one hand holds book open, one hand guides the stuff.
If sitting, I prefer Indian-style.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Zohar » Thu May 07, 2009 5:28 am UTC

d33p wrote:If standing, one hand holds book open, one hand guides the stuff.
If sitting, I prefer Indian-style.

You read while you pee?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby d33p » Thu May 07, 2009 5:33 am UTC

Hells yes. One glimpse at the can's all I need for initial aim, and then I just listen closely to hear if I miss. Then adjust accordingly.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Dibley » Thu May 07, 2009 5:41 am UTC

All this is made better by sitting down to pee. What would have been a 30 second period of boredom can now be relaxing, and it's only bothersome if you have an erection, so don't read porn.

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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby punkymonkey » Thu May 07, 2009 5:47 am UTC

Zohar wrote:
d33p wrote:If standing, one hand holds book open, one hand guides the stuff.
If sitting, I prefer Indian-style.

You read while you pee?
That, I understood. I was way more intrigued by the Indian-style shitting position. I can't help but to wonder if I could possibly do this, or if I would fall off.

Either way.. I'm probably gonna try.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Zohar » Thu May 07, 2009 5:49 am UTC

punkymonkey wrote:I was way more intrigued by the Indian-style shitting position. I can't help but to wonder if I could possibly do this, or if I would fall off.

Yeah, I wanted to ask about that too. What is Indian style position?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Dibley » Thu May 07, 2009 5:51 am UTC

I assume they mean cross legged. This intrigues me, as it sounds impractical and uncomfortable. I tend to squat on top of the toilet.

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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby punkymonkey » Thu May 07, 2009 5:54 am UTC

I just.. sit down.
I never really thought of ways to improve sitting on the crapper.
I have before stretched my legs out and kinda sat a little crooked so that I could prop my feet on the side of the tub.. but I'm not sure that counts as a new or interesting position.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby d33p » Thu May 07, 2009 6:15 am UTC

Around here, cross-legged is called "Indian-style". And it's quite convenient for sitting while reading, as one can balance their elbows on their knees and support a book at eye-level. It takes practice.

My current favourite restroom book is Sushi: Taste and Technique. There's just something about sushi that makes all bathroom experiences better.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Kangaroo » Thu May 07, 2009 1:49 pm UTC

D33p: You made my day! :D

Personally, I don't spend much time inside the lavatory; I walk inside, finish my business and walk to my bed and read there.

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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Moo » Thu May 07, 2009 2:10 pm UTC

... you guys are odd. Delightfully so, but odd.

I don't spend significant amounts of time in the toilet but I do occasionally read in the bath. I have a shelf at such a height next to the bath that when lying down, I can reach it. When I have a me-time sort of bath, I put a hand towel on it, and a book and a glass of wine. I wash my face, self and hair, put on a facemask, conditioner and put bath oils in the water, then lay back, dry my hands, and get my wine and book and read while the girly products do their job. I just hold it in my hands, but at my parents' there's one of those racks that span the width of the bath; that's damn handy for putting it down on for sips of wine.

Then when I get all pruny I put the book down and shower it all off.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Izawwlgood » Thu May 07, 2009 2:21 pm UTC

I am currently late to work because I had to get the fourth empires insignia in Star Ocean: First Departure and I mean, I was already sitting there.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Jebobek » Thu May 07, 2009 2:49 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:I'm left wondering what the hell you people are doing on the toilet that requires a book that can hold itself open when put on your lap because what the hell are your hands doing? I mean.. yes, I understand there comes a time that you need to put the book down and use your hands for stuff, but before that time?
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I heard somewhere that reading causes the person to not focus on their "business" so after years pass the sessions take longer and longer, to the point where it easily breaks the 10 minute mark. Those that never read can go faster than those that have read in the past but are not anymore.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Moo » Thu May 07, 2009 2:52 pm UTC

I was going to say something constructive but was mezmerized by the fact that your avatar appears to be taking a dump right now. How apt.



Oh, right, anyway. Interesting reasoning, Jebobek. I just assumed I get enough fibre and some others don't... TMI?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby punkymonkey » Thu May 07, 2009 3:27 pm UTC

Moo wrote:I was going to say something constructive but was mezmerized by the fact that your avatar appears to be taking a dump right now. How apt.
<3's Moo for pointing that out. Freaking awesome.
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Jebobek » Thu May 07, 2009 6:15 pm UTC

I TOLD him to stop reading X-Men comic books on the pot but noooOOOoooo, he wouldn't listen. He's been struggling for almost a year now.

..Moo, I was trying really hard not to put someone's quote in my sig, but you just HAD so say that, didn't you?
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby punkymonkey » Thu May 07, 2009 6:58 pm UTC

teehee. in watching your avatar, there's this perfect moment where in my mind, I hear a little grunt from him.

So cute!
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Re: The technicalities of reading on the toilet

Postby Moo » Fri May 08, 2009 7:00 am UTC

I get sigged, and it's about deficating. Win some, lose some, I guess :)
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