The worst film you've seen

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby HungryHobo » Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:09 am UTC

dogma72 wrote:2. Little Nikki

that film was fantastic!
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby lorettatodd » Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:45 pm UTC

Transformers 2 is the worst i've ever seen!!

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Kevin88 » Thu May 16, 2013 7:58 pm UTC

The Happening

I'm now convinced M. Night Shamalamadingdong, or whatever his name is, stole the idea for the Sixth Sense and then had that person killed. His movies since then have been beyond atrocious. I know the guy who said The Village agrees.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby infernovia » Thu May 16, 2013 10:29 pm UTC

The Sixth Sense wasn't even that great anyway.

Among movies that I have watched completely, in recent memory, the worst one was prolly God Bless America.
Last edited by infernovia on Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:51 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Zohar » Fri May 17, 2013 10:48 am UTC

Kevin88 wrote:The Happening

I'm now convinced M. Night Shamalamadingdong, or whatever his name is, stole the idea for the Sixth Sense and then had that person killed. His movies since then have been beyond atrocious. I know the guy who said The Village agrees.

I thought Unbreakable was really good, actually. I agree with the rest.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Puppyclaws » Fri May 17, 2013 4:23 pm UTC

Bedazzled. Hands down. I am not sure exactly when it was turned off, but, before it ended. Constantly cringe-inducing.

I would say 2001: A Space Odyssey, but I did not really give it a chance. I will say, I can do bored all by myself.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby drego642 » Wed May 29, 2013 11:01 am UTC

I wouldn't call it the worst I've seen, but the only thing I enjoyed about watching The Happening was my friends and I providing MST3K commentary throughout. We'd rented that movie for that specific purpose.

I'll never forget the moment I completely lost it: the big "monster" reveal was a shot of an open field with a gust of wind blowing tall grass from side to side from the background to the foreground. Cue 20 minute chase scene or some shit.

Spoiler:
I'm still disappointed I never got the satisfaction of Mark Wahlberg saying, "what's... Happening here...?" as he looks into the camera accompanied by cheesy shock underscore.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby MrPotatoJunior » Tue Jun 11, 2013 3:57 pm UTC

1.- Hot tube time machine:
Terrible. Truly terrible. I consider myself #1 hater of that movie.
I like `vulgar' humor, but that was just the wrong way of doing it. It wasn't funny!
2.- Any movie with Adam Sandler in it. I just hate that guy and anything he does.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:38 am UTC

I hear Punch-Drunk Love is quite nice.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby AYC » Thu Jun 13, 2013 7:34 am UTC

Meet the Spartans.

God fucking damnit, why did I watch that?

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby mathmannix » Tue Jul 30, 2013 2:29 pm UTC

I don't think I've ever actually walked out of a theatre during a movie, but there have been three very close calls I can remember:

1. Dumb and Dumber
2. Scary Movie 2 - very disgusting, and the only one I still regret not walking out of
3. Grown Ups 2 just two weeks ago
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby sparkyb » Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:17 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:I don't think I've ever actually walked out of a theatre during a movie, but there have been ... very close calls I can remember:

This.

And this may be controversial but for me that movie was Magnolia

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Sun Aug 04, 2013 6:34 am UTC

I attempted to watch Tell Me Something (the Korean film) the other day, and did not succeed. It's not that I found the dismemberment to be particularly tasteless, but halfway through I was confused, bored, and cared nothing about any of the characters. I can happily go the rest of my life without knowing how it ends. It's not often I can say that about a film.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jave D » Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:35 pm UTC

Cabin Boy. An annoying, unfunny film with annoying and unfunny dialogue and characters and plot and sets and everything else. There is no amount of drugs I could ingest that would make it enjoyable to watch. Or lack thereof.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby messy » Wed Aug 21, 2013 8:30 pm UTC

there are so many that qualify, but the most recent has to be avatar. bad, bad, bad.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Sat Aug 24, 2013 4:13 pm UTC

What a well-supported opinion.

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raudorn
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby raudorn » Sat Aug 24, 2013 6:01 pm UTC

To be fair, not everybody in here is giving much explanation to their opinion. But I can understand that, if one isn't a sucker (like me) for the special effects and graphics, Avatar stands out as a rather bland movie. I'd rename Avatar into 'Production values through the roof: Making up for a mediocre plot'

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Sheikh al-Majaneen » Sun Sep 08, 2013 7:06 pm UTC

Step Brothers. I could not finish it; my brother liked it so much that I had two chances to finish watching it, and walked away both times.

I enjoyed Avatar, but I didn't go to the theatre to see a good story. I went to see a movie in 3D (that was made for 3D), and I have no regrets over seeing it.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby drclaw » Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:21 pm UTC

Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace.
Seriously, wtf were they thinking? Besides, it has been on IMDB's "Bottom X movies" almost since it was released.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby teenidle » Mon Sep 09, 2013 8:45 pm UTC

anyone seen Movie 43? I have, for some reason...
... the plan was to watch a really bad movie in order to fall asleep, but that didn't quite work out. I ended up watching the whole thing. It was a very, very, very bad idea.
(Also, part of the reason I watched it was that I kept thinking that no movie could be that bad. Obviously, I was wrong.)
The best part was Chloe Moretz getting her first period while making out with her boyfriend.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Wed Sep 11, 2013 5:26 am UTC

teenidle wrote:anyone seen Movie 43? I have, for some reason...
I think I linked to Roeper's beautiful review in the past. A rose from the manure, as it were.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby zimdelinvasor » Mon Sep 23, 2013 4:52 am UTC

I barely watch any movies but my least favorite one I've ever seen was Captain America. I thought it was going to be about some guy in a red white and blue superhero suit beating up Nazis or something, which for a while it was and I was good with it.. but then the head Nazi suddenly ripped his face off for some reason, and there was all this shit with some glowing blue cube? I had no idea what was going on.
Later a friend told me that apparently you're supposed to have a working knowledge of the Avengers movies or the Captain America series before you watch it, but I had neither, so it was just a weird, weird experience.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby WibblyWobbly » Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:26 pm UTC

teenidle wrote:anyone seen Movie 43? I have, for some reason...
... the plan was to watch a really bad movie in order to fall asleep, but that didn't quite work out. I ended up watching the whole thing. It was a very, very, very bad idea.
(Also, part of the reason I watched it was that I kept thinking that no movie could be that bad. Obviously, I was wrong.)
The best part was Chloe Moretz getting her first period while making out with her boyfriend.

I saw this the other day, and while I found it profoundly stupid in ways few movies can be, it wasn't the worst movie I'd ever seen. And I haven't even seen "The Room" yet.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby OP Tipping » Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:40 pm UTC

Actually, I am going to agree with the OP. Epic Movie was terrible. Terrible acting, awful jokes, bad editing. Smacked of a movie created on a whiteboard on a weekend.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:26 pm UTC

teenidle wrote:anyone seen Movie 43? I have, for some reason...
... the plan was to watch a really bad movie in order to fall asleep, but that didn't quite work out. I ended up watching the whole thing. It was a very, very, very bad idea.
(Also, part of the reason I watched it was that I kept thinking that no movie could be that bad. Obviously, I was wrong.)
The best part was Chloe Moretz getting her first period while making out with her boyfriend.

It wasn't the worst film I've ever seen, but it was far from the best. My wife watches a lot of Hulu, which has ads, and this was advertised heavily on it, meaning probably the best sketch on there - the Cuba Gooding Jr one - I'd basically already seen.

I think they were trying for a Kentucky Fried Movie sort of thing, and didn't quite succeed. I'm sure the people in it had fun filming their respective segments, but it's not really something that creates a product that's enjoyable to watch.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby sje46 » Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:20 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:It wasn't the worst film I've ever seen, but it was by far the best.
I'm not sure if I misread you or not.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:28 pm UTC

YOU SAW NOTHING
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Djehutynakht » Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:41 pm UTC

"Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat"

Yeah. You can tell from the title, can't you?

It's a musical, based off of the story of Joseph from Genesis in the Bible.

It's not horrible quality, per say. But it's just... it's absolutely ridiculous. The lyrics, the scenes... dark-toned Elvis impersonator as Pharaoh...

My god I swear whoever made this was high. You'd love it if you were high. I felt strange after watching it.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby shieldforyoureyes » Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:26 pm UTC

Djehutynakht wrote:"Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat"

Yeah. You can tell from the title, can't you?

It's a musical, based off of the story of Joseph from Genesis in the Bible.

It's not horrible quality, per say. But it's just... it's absolutely ridiculous. The lyrics, the scenes... dark-toned Elvis impersonator as Pharaoh...

My god I swear whoever made this was high. You'd love it if you were high. I felt strange after watching it.


Starring Donny Osmond? I haven't seen the whole thing, just clips. Godspell is similarly weird. And of course, Jesus Christ Superstar:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvVr2uks0C8

(Not "bad", but very weird.)

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby no-genius » Mon Dec 30, 2013 8:05 pm UTC

All I know of Godspell is from what Godspeed You! Black Emperor sampled of it (first part at 11:00, second at 16:40). In that, it sounds disturbing, but that's maybe more because of the context.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Heisenberg2 » Fri Jan 03, 2014 11:25 pm UTC

Mouse Hunt never stayed to see the end.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby kiniget » Fri Feb 21, 2014 8:44 am UTC

In terms of recent movies I have to submit 47 Ronin
they take a true story, throw it through a half-assed fantay filter, and then add Keeanu Reeves as a main character, because what that story really needed was a white main character.
and that's just scratching the surface
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Tyndmyr » Mon Feb 24, 2014 10:33 pm UTC

WibblyWobbly wrote:
teenidle wrote:anyone seen Movie 43? I have, for some reason...
... the plan was to watch a really bad movie in order to fall asleep, but that didn't quite work out. I ended up watching the whole thing. It was a very, very, very bad idea.
(Also, part of the reason I watched it was that I kept thinking that no movie could be that bad. Obviously, I was wrong.)
The best part was Chloe Moretz getting her first period while making out with her boyfriend.

I saw this the other day, and while I found it profoundly stupid in ways few movies can be, it wasn't the worst movie I'd ever seen. And I haven't even seen "The Room" yet.


I agree with this. I mean, it was terrible, but...it was just bad. I can at least understand how they might think that a series of edgy shorts could be funny, it just wasn't.

Movies like "The Room", which I do have the misfortune to have seen, I do not understand why they were made... See also, Birdemic.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Feb 26, 2014 3:24 pm UTC

The more and more I learn about how movies are made, the more and more I can see how some big-budget big-name crapfests get made, where basically the only person who realizes it's shit before it's done are not even the people watching the dailies, but the editors assembling the basically randomly shot scenes into a coherent film. They're the first ones to know if something is terrible or not, as everyone else is seeing the movie in such small fragments that they cannot tell themselves if it's bad or not.

And I can't even say "Why would someone agree to this script?" as, if nothing else, I've seen different performances of Shakespearean works, all using the same script, and some are wonderful and some are god-awful and they aren't awful for any one particular reason.


So yeah, Movie 43 was bad, but .. as I've said elsewhere, if that's the worst movie you've seen, you have not seen bad films.

The Room is just a masturbatory film, and making fun of it, to me, is like making fun of books published by a vanity press. Of course the shit's gonna be awful. But it does illustrate a way to tell if a movie is going to be shit or not just by reading who made it.

If the credits look like this..

Directed by Tommy Wiseau
Produced by Tommy Wiseau
Written by Tommy Wiseau
Starring Tommy Wiseau


That is, you have Directed, Written, Starring (and if Produced is there, that seals it) credits that all reference the same person, the movie is going to be fuckterribad, and by watching it you're watching someone's jack-off fantasy. Either intellectually masturbatory, or literal masturbation, the only reason it exists is because the Star/Writer/Director just had to get his or her message to the unwashed masses.

And it's going to be awful.

Birdemic, on the other hand... you've got a bunch of actors who want work, work's hard to get, and you know the movie's going to be shitty, but you're hoping for something like Rubber at least. But you don't get to see the special effects, you just have assurances that "Oh yeah, there's totally going to be CGI things here and it'll be fantastic, now pretend to be afraid of this stuffed bird" and only later do you find out that the stuffed bird was the special effect.

But again, let's look at the credits there...

Directed by James Nguyen
Produced by James Nguyen
Tim Ubels
Written by James Nguyen


Gosh, it's almost like the producer, the director and the writer shouldn't ever be the same person. Because then there's no one to tell the Director, Writer or Producer "No, that won't work, we need it done some other way"
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Wed Feb 26, 2014 7:37 pm UTC

The Big Hit...
Mr. Nishi: All my life, I wanted to make a big Hollywood movie!

Lawyer: I understand. "Taste The Golden Spray" was a big movie, a huge movie. Actually, it was the biggest movie ever made. Maybe you shouldn't have written, directed and starred in it?

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Feb 28, 2014 5:13 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:If the credits look like this..

Directed by Tommy Wiseau
Produced by Tommy Wiseau
Written by Tommy Wiseau
Starring Tommy Wiseau


That is, you have Directed, Written, Starring (and if Produced is there, that seals it) credits that all reference the same person, the movie is going to be fuckterribad, and by watching it you're watching someone's jack-off fantasy. Either intellectually masturbatory, or literal m


Retort #1 (Aronofsky)
Retort #2 (Tarantino)
Retort #3 (Burton)
Retort #4 (Kubrick)

Hell, Kubrick alone. 1964 onward, everything he made he was producer, writer, and director. Strangelove, 2001, Orange, Lyndon, Shining, FMJ, Eyes. Though to be fair, he probably did masturbate to every single one of his movies, even when R Lee Ermey was yelling at him. Especially when R Lee Ermey was yelling at him.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby shieldforyoureyes » Fri Feb 28, 2014 8:56 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:If the credits look like this..

Directed by Tommy Wiseau
Produced by Tommy Wiseau
Written by Tommy Wiseau
Starring Tommy Wiseau


That is, you have Directed, Written, Starring (and if Produced is there, that seals it) credits that all reference the same person, the movie is going to be fuckterribad, and by watching it you're watching someone's jack-off fantasy. Either intellectually masturbatory, or literal m


Retort #1 (Aronofsky)
Retort #2 (Tarantino)
Retort #3 (Burton)
Retort #4 (Kubrick)

Hell, Kubrick alone. 1964 onward, everything he made he was producer, writer, and director. Strangelove, 2001, Orange, Lyndon, Shining, FMJ, Eyes. Though to be fair, he probably did masturbate to every single one of his movies, even when R Lee Ermey was yelling at him. Especially when R Lee Ermey was yelling at him.


Modern Times: Charlie Chaplin directed, wrote, & starred.
The General: Buster Keaton Produced, directed, wrote & starred.

In fact, Keaton's output took a nosedive around 1929 not because he couldn't make the transition to talkies (he had a great voice), but because that was the same time that the big film studios get really formulaic about big-budget films, and wouldn't let him direct his own films any more. The result was garbage.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:04 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Hell, Kubrick alone. 1964 onward, everything he made he was producer, writer, and director. Strangelove, 2001, Orange, Lyndon, Shining, FMJ, Eyes. Though to be fair, he probably did masturbate to every single one of his movies, even when R Lee Ermey was yelling at him. Especially when R Lee Ermey was yelling at him.
Technically, half of those were based on books, weren't they?

I am also reminded that a big warning flag, especially for comedies, is when it looks like four or more people are credited with the script, though there are probably examples where such a film turned out all right.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby shieldforyoureyes » Fri Feb 28, 2014 6:34 pm UTC

Jorpho wrote:I am also reminded that a big warning flag, especially for comedies, is when it looks like four or more people are credited with the script, though there are probably examples where such a film turned out all right.


I think that warning flag is probably true, but only for a particular era, not universally. ie: it became standard at some point for scripts in Hollywood to be modified by everyone involved, not because anyone was making any improvements, but just sort of to mark their territory. Like dogs pissing on it over and over before it actually got made.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri Feb 28, 2014 6:49 pm UTC

And many writer/actor/directors have EARNED the cred necessary to pull it off.


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