[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:17 am UTC

I had shittytimes like that...every month was about 2 weeks...2 weeks sharking 2 weeks regular back and forth. Mirena IUD to the rescue... like 3 days light bleeding now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:00 am UTC

Seconding what poxic said! I'm not a gyno, but anything over 7 days (10 at the most, if you have a family history of heavy bleeding, aren't iron-deficient and are in good health otherwise) is definitely cause to see a Dr. And if the Dr shrugs, then it's time to find another Dr. My mom's had a couple of massive periods (where she wouldn't stop bleeding) and it ended up being fibroids. She had no symptoms other than mild cramps and bleeding that wouldn't stop, but ended up needing 3 (maybe 4?) D&Cs in the last 5-6 years. She has a Mirena now, simply for uterine control.

And wow, that engineering professor is an ass. An ass full of assiness. It's like the time I was told "they (motions to my three male teammates) will hammer out the prototype problems, you can talk to the client". The "client" was a school for children with autism-spectrum diagnoses and it's 4-6 y.o. classroom. That particular professor got the death glare, and a "I'll be working on the prototype, as well since I know the design best."

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:22 am UTC

To go along with ranting about asshats who are professors:

Seriously, Honors Ethics prof- why do you think that I am going to fail this paper?
Just because I am not the talkative one does not mean that I am not capable of writing a quality paper.
I have a plan for writing it, and am already almost done with it... stop breathing down my neck about it!!!!!
Also, LAY OFF on the fact that I have to turn in an assignment late.
I fell off my bed in my sleep and managed to fuck up my dominant/ writing hand to the point where I'm wondering if I need to go back to urgent care again.
Also, don't look at me like I did it on purpose to get out of doing assignments.
I have a ton of shit to deal with, it's finals week, and I have more important things to do with my time... thank you much
Mind your own damn business and F off! :evil:

And to go along with the shark week madness.

Dear shark week...
please do NOT show up in the middle of my finals week!
Sincerely,
e_squirrrel

Also
I feel like a stupid idiot... I fell off the bed in my sleep, dislocated (and spontaneously reduced) my pinky and fifth metacarpal. also successfully bruised a few other bones in my hand and the surrounding tissues. :(

Hopefully I remember to check back here in a day or so... if not, shoot me a PM to make sure I haven't slept away my week because of finals stress
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amie » Sun Dec 04, 2011 2:33 pm UTC

Spoiler:
I feel fucking terrible. There was supposed to be a slut walk today but it was cancelled because a few "organizations" complained to the police and threatened that they would retaliate with violence if there was such a procession on the city streets today. I am fucking sick and tired of how the majority wins. Just because a few women wearing whatever the fuck they wanted, protesting against rape and molestation is not a method that suits their liking, they fucking threatened violence. This is what we get for voicing our angst against sexual harassment. Threats. I don't know what to say or do. I am disappointed. I am angry as hell. I want to throw away all my "decent" clothes and fucking burn them. I am sick of this prejudice. What we wanted to do wasn't illegal. What they threatened us with was. Who got what they wanted? Them. Who did the police yield to? Them. I can't believe the same people who are supposed to protect the law and breaking it.

I am generally depressed and in a terrible mood around this time of the year and today was supposed to change that. But nope. It's made it worse.
/rant
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:49 pm UTC

Hugs to Amie - that is a pretty terrible way for the police to handle things.

On an unrelated note - I've been clothes shopping today for professional looking stuff as I've got a volunteer placement in a clinic at home. I'm so glad that Primark had stuff that was a) cheap, b) not boring, c) fitted (but thankfully not cleavage showing as television would have you think that every non-boring officewoman must wear) and d) nice and light (good for the tropics).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cassi » Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:21 pm UTC

I need a trip to Primark in the near future...possibly Saturday, actually. My new job has a dress code of smart casual, which is essentially meaningless to me...I've mostly been going for long jumpers, leggings, and black flats at the moment. I don't have any dresses that would be at all appropriate, so that's on my list. I am kind of avoiding trousers, because the only ones I have other than jeans are my black school ones which are not really the nicest and a pair of really nice smart grey ones which I don't want to overwear because I think they're a bit more smart than necessary and also I walk a half hour from the station, partially on not great paths, so I don't want to be getting them muddy or ruined or anything because they were quite expensive...

Anyone have any general suggestions/thoughts on smart casual? I'm working there 2-3 days a week, so I'd like to have a decent amount of variety, really. Am also thinking of maybe looking out for some ankle boots as an alternative to flats, though I have never fully decided how I feel about ankle boots...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Isotope_238 » Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:20 pm UTC

@Amie: That is so wrong in every possible way. I'm sorry.

Thanks for the confirmation that this length of bleeding-time is not normal. I needed that particular bit of sense thrown at me.
I'll talk to my doctor, who I think is pretty competent and not likely to be an asshat. As for using hormonal birth control to regulate periods, I'm terribly wary of that. See, I tried once before and had serious problems. Suicidal depression, plus migraines, horrible cramps, and absurdly heavy bleeding. So I'm going to be VERY cautious about trying anything hormonal.

edit: Not to mention I'm studying abroad next semester (Woooooo! :D ) and I don't want to make things complicated for myself. I think living in a different country is going to be hard enough without wondering if I'm going to want to kill myself today.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:23 pm UTC

Cassi wrote:I need a trip to Primark in the near future...possibly Saturday, actually. My new job has a dress code of smart casual, which is essentially meaningless to me...I've mostly been going for long jumpers, leggings, and black flats at the moment. I don't have any dresses that would be at all appropriate, so that's on my list. I am kind of avoiding trousers, because the only ones I have other than jeans are my black school ones which are not really the nicest and a pair of really nice smart grey ones which I don't want to overwear because I think they're a bit more smart than necessary and also I walk a half hour from the station, partially on not great paths, so I don't want to be getting them muddy or ruined or anything because they were quite expensive...

Anyone have any general suggestions/thoughts on smart casual? I'm working there 2-3 days a week, so I'd like to have a decent amount of variety, really. Am also thinking of maybe looking out for some ankle boots as an alternative to flats, though I have never fully decided how I feel about ankle boots...

Primark has a sale going on for suits and trousers at the moment - I got some nice looking ones for £10. As for smart-casual, I generally interpret that as nice looking jeans, a shirt (or blouse I guess technically as it's for females :P ) and nice shoes (aka not trainers). I could be wrong in that though. I also don't wear dresses unless I'm dressing up in black or white tie, so can't help there.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cassi » Sun Dec 04, 2011 6:07 pm UTC

Isotope: the hormonal IUD is probably worth considering, as it has quite low hormone levels compared to other options. It also would be less of an issue while you're abroad as well, since it only needs to be checked once a year. I gather it can be quite expensive and some doctors are reluctant to give them to younger women who've not had children -- but I am sure some of the people who've gotten them in the US can give you more details on that. It's something to have in mind as an option when you speak to your doctor, anyway.

Angua: I'm avoiding jeans for now as I've not seen anyone else wearing them, and my mum's definition of smart casual involves no jeans, though my first instinct was that nice ones would be fine... Primark sale definitely sounds promising, I'll have to have a look sometime this week I think and see what I can find. It's annoying, because I've just been paid, but it wasn't actually all that much considering I have Christmas presents to buy as well, so I'm having to make sure I don't just get excited and start spending more money than I have...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby tin » Sun Dec 04, 2011 6:56 pm UTC

Cassi wrote:Anyone have any general suggestions/thoughts on smart casual? I'm working there 2-3 days a week, so I'd like to have a decent amount of variety, really. Am also thinking of maybe looking out for some ankle boots as an alternative to flats, though I have never fully decided how I feel about ankle boots...


Primark would probably be good place to go to find cheap tea dresses. With black tights and a nice pair of black or brown shoes (like brogues maybe), I find tea dresses can be layered up (plain cardigan over or a nice shirt underneath or both, depending on the weather) quite nicely to be a funky, but smart-casual look. Like this or this. I don't know if that's too casual for your work place though.

If i'm asked to go smart-casual in the winter, I usually wear jumper dresses such as these with black flats and wooly tights.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:33 am UTC

Isotope - I have the Mirena, and as already said it is lower dose and its local. Not being a systemic thing (like a pill is) is a huge benefit as it basically gives local effect only (aka in uterus). They do have a copper IUD but that tends to make heavier periods from what I have researched on it so might be countereffected (a doctor would know though, and at least it wouldnt be hormonal). As for personaly...Ive had no bad side effects from the Mirena, if anything I am more mood stable as Im not in a lot of pain for 1/2 of the time, which really made me irritable at times!

Amie...Oh me yarm that is horrible. >_< I just...have no words.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Isotope_238 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:14 am UTC

I hadn't even thought about a hormonal IUD. I will remember to ask my doctor, hopefully I can call the office sometime this week.
Pros (for me): easy-peasy to use. I'm not underestimating the weight of this factor; if a hormonal IUD made my periods lighter and more regular, I'd be thrilled.
Cons:
- I am very, very afraid of ever going back into the depression I barely managed to survive last time I messed with my hormones. It was scary, and it was not fun.
- I am very, very, stupidly irrationally afraid of letting anyone try to insert anything into my vagina. When I had ovarian torsion (every problem I have traces back to this and the birth control, and I'm sick of it. I want to just fucking move on with my life already), the doctor tried a vaginal ultrasound to diagnose the problem, and it hurt even more than the torsion. Since then, I've tried fingering myself, but it's just not comfortable. I trust myself to stop before it hurts, but there's no way I can be sure anyone else, doctor or not, will do the same. And no, I am not happy living with this stupid fear. I don't mean I'm stupid for being afraid, I mean the fear is stupid and I want to not be afraid. That's it.
- There's the possibility that my doctor is going to be more worried about my as-yet nonexistent sex life* and babies than I am. However, I feel fairly confident in my own ability to say, loudly and repeatedly if necessary, "I'm a teenager! I don't need to be pregnant. Besides, this isn't a permanent thing, anyway."

*I mean nonexistent in the sense that I have never touched another person in a non-platonic fashion. I feel this needs emphasizing, because I've had at least one doctor say "Really?" when I say I've never had sex. Is a complete lack of sexual experience that uncommon?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:38 am UTC

Isotope_238 wrote:I hadn't even thought about a hormonal IUD. I will remember to ask my doctor, hopefully I can call the office sometime this week.
Pros (for me): easy-peasy to use. I'm not underestimating the weight of this factor; if a hormonal IUD made my periods lighter and more regular, I'd be thrilled.
Cons:
- I am very, very afraid of ever going back into the depression I barely managed to survive last time I messed with my hormones. It was scary, and it was not fun.
- I am very, very, stupidly irrationally afraid of letting anyone try to insert anything into my vagina. When I had ovarian torsion (every problem I have traces back to this and the birth control, and I'm sick of it. I want to just fucking move on with my life already), the doctor tried a vaginal ultrasound to diagnose the problem, and it hurt even more than the torsion. Since then, I've tried fingering myself, but it's just not comfortable. I trust myself to stop before it hurts, but there's no way I can be sure anyone else, doctor or not, will do the same. And no, I am not happy living with this stupid fear. I don't mean I'm stupid for being afraid, I mean the fear is stupid and I want to not be afraid. That's it.
- There's the possibility that my doctor is going to be more worried about my as-yet nonexistent sex life* and babies than I am. However, I feel fairly confident in my own ability to say, loudly and repeatedly if necessary, "I'm a teenager! I don't need to be pregnant. Besides, this isn't a permanent thing, anyway."

*I mean nonexistent in the sense that I have never touched another person in a non-platonic fashion. I feel this needs emphasizing, because I've had at least one doctor say "Really?" when I say I've never had sex. Is a complete lack of sexual experience that uncommon?

The hormonal IUD (Mirena) has worked out pretty well for me. My periods have pretty much stayed the same in length but have gotten lighter, especially after about a year of having it. It's so worry free. I love it. I don't have to worry about pills every day or nuva ring stuff or anything. I was told that I SHOULD NOT get the pill or the ring or the shot because I have ongoing depression and anxiety issues. The Mirena's dose was deemed minimal enough that it would not affect me. It has not affected me in any noticeable way. Especially if your worry is hormones, I would really suggest the Mirena.

Your OB-GYN can give you a local anesthetic for the insertion of the IUD, and honestly, it was painful, but for less than a day. Irrational fears are irrational, and if you're up for trying it, I'm sure your OB-GYN will be. There are nurses around who let you squeeze their hands and everything.

As to doctors saying "really?" it's because they see soooo many active/pregnant teens that their view of teens is incredibly skewed to the sexually active side of the spectrum. Also, a lot of teens are worried that their family will be informed (they won't, that's not allowed) and so they lie. Or they just lie anyway. IUDs are a good way to safe-guard yourself for the next 5 years. It's totally worry free and you don't have to worry about upkeep or monthly payments or anything. I got mine after I was sexually active, but I had to go to a different doctor because my previous one didn't want to give it to someone who hadn't had a baby. Something about blah blah wider cervix blah blah. Turned out to be crap. New doctor was happy as anything to make sure she didn't see me for a pregnancy test in a few months, lol!

Lack of sexual experience is anything but uncommon. At least half of my friends (using friends loosely - acquaintances, friends of friends, anybody I'd actually know this about) from my high school graduation year (2008) are virgins by choice or chance. I wouldn't worry about it. And if you want, go check out Love, Sex, and Relationship's Thread for the In-sex-sperienced!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:52 am UTC

Isotope - I just PM'd you 'cause...yeah lots of similar things with me but Im too shy to spill all the details here. But I did get the mirena through determination to end my suffering and I am very happy I did. *hugs*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:07 am UTC

Sungura, I love your profile picture. Is that the corset you made? Where are you? It's gorgeous!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:03 am UTC

Aww thanks! It is not the one I made, it is one I bought.
Spoiler:
Image


I did a photo trip in Bluff River cave in Alabama. It was hard directing my friend holding my camera, and another friend holding my flash gun, taking photos blind as Im in them LOL. Some turned out okay some...didnt. Learned a lot though and know what to do better next time. Some cavers have gotten pretty pissed at me for these photos, thinking Im promoting bad caving (Im not in proper clothing not to mention being sans boots and helment). I say, they can try caving in a corset, and anyone stupid enough to think they can cave in just what I have on deserves whatever ill fate happens to them. I caved for about 2-3 hrs to get to this point in the cave (in proper gear :P) and then changed into stuff carried in with drybags.

Here are photos from that shoot:
Spoiler:
Image

Image

Image
Bluff River Cave 23 by Sunguramy, on Flickr
^^My favourite one


and then two b&w's
Image
Bluff River Cave 20 by Sunguramy, on Flickr

Image
Bluff River Cave 18 by Sunguramy, on Flickr
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:34 am UTC

Seems pretty obvious to me that you'd change into that, haha! Maybe they've never worn a corset. :lol:

My goodness, you look so gorgeous and confident. <3
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:16 am UTC

After reading this article on post-partum psychosis (which I'd never heard of), I thought I should bring it here so that more people know about it (apparently it affects about 1000 women/year in the UK, which seems to me to not be an insignificant number). This, along with the more commonly known post-partum depression (as well as pre-partum depression which I think is less known as well). Some preliminary searching also shows that the post-partum depression in a minority of patients can start in late pregnancy as well. Anyway, I think that all of these problems need to be in the public eye, because pregnancy and child birth are often seen as one of the happiest things that women can experience, and so it adds an extra stigma because women suffering from these things can feel like bad mothers, which can make the problem worse.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Isotope_238 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:59 pm UTC

I talked to my mom about an IUD this morning, and the first thing she said was, "Well, they prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg, so that's pretty much abortion."

I am NOT going to start any discussion on abortion.
That being said, why is it that every time I have a problem with my reproductive system, everybody's first concern is my nonexistent kids? I'm not banging anybody, so unless we're talking Second Coming, there are going to be no fertilized eggs skipping merrily down my fallopian tubes. Nobody, and I mean literally nobody that I have talked to in real life, responds to the actual problem that I have right now without prompting from me. I'm sick of this shit, too. I mean, FUCK. I have a problem and I'm asking for help, and you want to tell me how that will affect my future childbearing?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:02 pm UTC

Blind ideology will do that to people.

//hugs// I'm so sorry you have to deal with that with your family.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Isotope_238 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:26 pm UTC

Posting too quickly before class this morning, I didn't say: Sungura, that photo shoot is awesome! Corsets and caves is a brilliant and gorgeous idea.

I just sent the following email to both of my parents. *takes a deep breath* I've never tried this way of communicating before. It's way easier to say exactly what I want without getting thrown by what they're saying to me. Now I just have to cross my fingers and hope they take it well...

Spoiler:
I think it'll be easier for me to organize what I want to say in an email, so here goes.

You already know that I don't particularly mind infrequent periods. It's kind of nice, actually. But I don't like going for 2-6 months and then spending the better part of a month bleeding. It gets old pretty fast. So I do want to try and fix this. Parenthetically, there is a world of difference between "wanting" and "agreeing." I want to wear glasses because they have a distinct and immediate effect that actually makes me feel better. In contrast, I agreed to braces because I understood the why behind it, but I have never been glad of that decision.

So I want to try hormonal birth control this time to try and fix this off-kilter cycle of mine. I've been doing some research and reading on different types of hormonal birth control. I intend to never ever try the same formulation as last time again. I'd rather live with the periods than risk that depression, because living with suicidal depression is hardly a life at all, and in fact very nearly wasn't. I prefer to be in control of my faculties.

That still leaves I don't know how many other formulations that I haven't tried. I'm looking for one that
a) most importantly, does not make me suicidal. This is more important than all other considerations put together.
b) causes lighter and shorter periods. This is the problem I'm looking to fix.
c) allows me to have 3 or 4 periods per year. This is mostly a matter of convenience, but I don't want to pick a formulation where I absolutely have to have a strictly monthly cycle.

Another option I've found, besides hormonal birth control pills, is a hormonal intrauterine device, specifically the Mirena. It's a little plastic thingy that releases low doses of levonorgestrel into the uterus and lasts for about 5 years. According to the reading I've done, a large percentage of Mirena users end up with much lighter periods. Initially (first 3-6 months), there's a possibility of irregular periods, but that's not really losing ground for me.

I'm not saying I want to try the Mirena right away, but it does have a few things going for it. It's easier than birth control pills to use and certainly requires less day-to-day time and memory. I would at least like to keep it on the table as an option.

Finally, and this is the second most important thing, I'm not using birth control as contraception. You both need to understand --and believe me when I say--that I'm not banging anybody, and I do not have plans to start in the foreseeable future. This is a recurring thing: when I have a problem with my reproductive system, everybody's first concern is my nonexistent kids.

Dad, when I was on birth control a few years ago and really upset about the ridiculously heavy periods it caused, I asked if there was a way to make it stop. You asked me if I was really stupid enough to want a hysterectomy, because then my biological clock would kick when I turned 30 and I'd regret it. Obviously, this memory is faded by time and depression, but you did ask if I were really that stupid and you did tell me that I'd regret it.

Mom, this morning when I asked you about a hormonal IUD, the very first thing you said was that they prevent the implantation of fertilized eggs, which is pretty much abortion. [redacted by me] there are no fertilized eggs skipping merrily down my fallopian tubes, so that's not actually a worry with me.

This is a really frustrating trend. When I have a problem and I ask for help, I'm not asking, "what about my as-yet nonexistent future children?" I am asking, right now today as I'm talking, for help with the problem that I have right now in the present. I have no doubt that you both are sincerely concerned about me when I need help, but I've been getting the impression that you're more concerned with the nonexistent kids than you are with the problem that I have right now.

Please, both of you, stop talking first about the nonexistent kids, then about whatever I'm asking for help with. To me, the problem I have right now is what I want to address first.

Love, [my name]


edited to update: Dad responded, quite positively. This is going to be okay. Right now, I'm thinking I'll try pills first, because they're easier to stop using if I have a problem. I still don't know what formulation, or if I'll start soon or wait until after I get back from studying in Germany (whole semester! whee! :D ). But we're communicating. I think email is better than face-to-face in this instance.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:02 pm UTC

((hugs)) that's great! Im glad your parents can respond positively and you found a way to help them be better at communication (I say it that way because...dang no parent should be reacting how they did, and you had to tell them how to behave, and you did an amazing job of it!)

And Oh me yarm have FUN in Germany!!!!! :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:06 pm UTC

Hugs for Isotope and Amie.

Sungura, those caving pictures are absolutely BEAUTIFUL :) I love them.

Finals week hasn't killed me yet... I am in the midst of writing 3 papers, and am having trouble keeping psychology contained to the psychology paper, ethics contained to ethics paper, and thesis draft in the thesis draft. I basically have a huge "psychology, ethics, and research thesis" all smashed together- the joys of late night writing :o
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:56 am UTC

Good for you, Isotope.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby eaglewings51 » Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:30 am UTC

Cassi wrote:Anyone have any general suggestions/thoughts on smart casual? I'm working there 2-3 days a week, so I'd like to have a decent amount of variety, really. Am also thinking of maybe looking out for some ankle boots as an alternative to flats, though I have never fully decided how I feel about ankle boots...


I worked in an office this summer. I wore jeans (nice jeans: usually in a dark wash with maybe just a tiny bit of fading, not the destroyed kind), flats or heeled boots, and a nice blouse. I would define that as "smart casual".

A great shoe is a pair of Danskos. Danskos are expensive ($120) but they are SO worth it. They are the comfiest dressy shoes I own and they go with just about anything. They dress up an outfit and are super classy and durable. They'll last you for a long time. The most popular Dansko is the clog but they also sell boots, mary jane type shoes, slides (the type of shoe that only covers the front half of your foot and not your heel), and a couple other styles. I have a black pair because black is super classy and it goes with everything. When I can justify the money, I'll probably get another pair in another color. I wish I had bought a pair when I was working this summer. I wore flats all this summer during my office job and when I had to stand at the coppier and copy stuff, my feet hurt so bad because of how flat the soles were. Danskos have way more arch support than flats do. The site is http://www.dansko.com. They only sell through licensed dealers but they have a link on their site to find a store.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Isotope_238 » Tue Dec 06, 2011 5:16 am UTC

More update: my mom emailed back, too, also being positive and helpful. Just today, I feel like I've managed to more effectively communicate with my parents than I have for my whole life long. I wish I'd thought of email or writing it out years ago. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do about the ridiculously long periods, but at least we're all on the same page now. Whew.

I can help with comfy shoes! After a gazillion fruitless trips to shoe stores in multiple cities, I finally found a pair that I love to death: These!
And they're on sale right now! For arch support, I put in a better insole/liner thing, and they are absolutely perfect. They do run a bit wide, just so you know. And they come in black, brown, green, and dark red (Dear future me, you know what to do with your disposable income).
Here is how comfortable these shoes are: they are one of three pairs of footwear that I am taking to Germany with me. (The others are a pair of waterproof insulated boots and these pink sparkly flip flops.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Tue Dec 06, 2011 5:55 am UTC

Isotope_238 wrote:More update: my mom emailed back, too, also being positive and helpful. Just today, I feel like I've managed to more effectively communicate with my parents than I have for my whole life long. I wish I'd thought of email or writing it out years ago. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do about the ridiculously long periods, but at least we're all on the same page now. Whew.

I am so proud of you! And proud of them for being reasonable and helpful. :) My family won't talk over email... they defer all conversations to face-to-face where they can leverage the I'm The Parent thing more. :roll:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:42 am UTC

yay, Isotope! ^_^
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:31 pm UTC

I love those shoes (especially in the red!), and if I had a spare $100, they would be mine.
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Aightynine
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aightynine » Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:08 pm UTC

That's great, Isotope. :) Sounds like things are working out pretty well! It can be tough, seriously looking into going birth control when your parent(s) don't entirely agree that it's a good idea. I have had some experience with that sort of thing, though the specific circumstances were quite different from yours.

Also, those shoes in the link look really comfortable. ^-^

Small rant: why are the majority of my bras so friggin uncomfortable all of a sudden, even though I've had them for over a year and have thought they were perfectly fine? -_-; I keep telling myself that no, my boobs haven't gotten bigger because I'm 20 and that's not possible...yet it clearly hasn't gotten through because I still kinda think that.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:39 pm UTC

your boobs could have got bigger. Boobs change size all the time, especially in your early 20s, it isn't a magical cut-off age as far as late puberty and hormonal/developmental wackiness.
Or your bras are wearing out and need replacing.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aightynine » Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:28 am UTC

Oh, really? I didn't know that. And I don't think it's a wearing out thing, because it honestly feels like they're too tight all of a sudden--well, my fully padded ones, anyway. My semi-padded ones are still okay. Gah, it looks like I'm going to have to replace over half my bras, though. >.>
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:32 am UTC

YAY! my horrid ethics class is now over :D and I couldn't be happier
My final paper for that class is almost done, and I don't have to hand it into the prof in person... it can be e-mailed in.

Onto organic chemistry and psychology. good night world!

six days until I get to go home and hug my mom and cat!

I need to get some new bras, too. my old ones are starting to fall apart
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:37 am UTC

Also, apparently: if you don't have kids, your breasts can start to grow again in the 30s and/or 40s. Except by now you're used to their usual size and it's a hassle to find yourself with unexpected boobage. :evil:

(This is also part of why women who don't go through childbirth have an increased risk of breast cancer. Pregnancy seems to stop breasts from continuing to grow -- aside from the whole "holy udders, Batwoman" thing that goes away after lactation ends. Breasts that continue to grow are basically increasing the number of breast cells in the body, and each cell seems to have a certain risk factor for going cancerous. More cells = more risk that there will be a cell that goes nutso one day.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shro » Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:09 am UTC

You can get Danskos at DSW for $80. I got these in Pewter. They're very sparkly. And tall.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:46 am UTC

poxic wrote:Also, apparently: if you don't have kids, your breasts can start to grow again in the 30s and/or 40s. Except by now you're used to their usual size and it's a hassle to find yourself with unexpected boobage. :evil:

(This is also part of why women who don't go through childbirth have an increased risk of breast cancer. Pregnancy seems to stop breasts from continuing to grow -- aside from the whole "holy udders, Batwoman" thing that goes away after lactation ends. Breasts that continue to grow are basically increasing the number of breast cells in the body, and each cell seems to have a certain risk factor for going cancerous. More cells = more risk that there will be a cell that goes nutso one day.)
Can you cite me a study that says bigger boobs = more risk? From my vague recollection, it's contested.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:55 am UTC

Hmm. Some hunting around does indicate that it's contested, and that obesity may be a confounding factor when measuring breast size vs. cancer risk. (Obesity is a known risk factor, and when separated from breast size it seems to be the main contributor.)

So much for ten-year-old information. >.<

/well then, go on and grow, boobies!
//wait, no, don't. Good bras are expensive.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:58 am UTC

phew,

thanks for researching. :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:37 am UTC

ethics final has been handed in- well, submitted via e-mail
psych paper is halfway done! 5 pages and I haven't finished all my sections yet :D
research thesis draft #1 of I have no clue is 75% done.
psychology studying for the exam will be accomplished after my brain stops hurting for a bit

may submit a proposal to a service learning conference... once this week is over.

brain needs a good diversion from studying- Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice shopping on thinkgeek.com anyone?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby eaglewings51 » Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:04 pm UTC

Shro wrote:You can get Danskos at DSW for $80. I got these in Pewter. They're very sparkly. And tall.


Umm, those aren't danskos. That site says that they're a brand called Madden Girl.


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