[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby DSenette » Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:05 pm UTC

Shro wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:I'll look into all of those. I'm completely new at makeup and it scares me, frankly, so thank you for your guidelines!

So far I look pretty good with black eyeliner. Since I only wear cosmetics for my costumes now, I don't mind going for dramatic colors and lines. Don't really need subtlety when I'm going around in a corset and panties.

I just want you(and everyone) to know that the stuff I linked is the Expensive Shit, and you can find drugstore brands that do similar things. So basically, if makeup were drugs, and I was your dealer, I'd basically be leading you straight to the dopest dope.
I could wax poetic about the benefits of gel eyeliner vs. liquid vs. pencil. But I don't usually. Because I'm afraid people will think I am dumb and/or shallow/more preoccupied with looks than I am I guess. (Holla if you're tired of the False pretty/smart dichotomy women/girls have to deal with.)

i think most people here (especially this thread) would just assume that you're highly knowledgable about makeup. which, by the way, is a subset of knowledge that people across the planet get paid nontrivial sums of money to possess.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shro » Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:39 pm UTC

Makeup is more of a hobby for me- and has very much been kind of a loner hobby. I have a 1 minute face, a 3 minute face... etc. that I pull out on different occasions. My mother always expects me to "look nice" and sometimes she's make a point of telling me to wear makeup, which, obviously, still makes me not want to wear makeup. Jacque will just calm me down and tell me to put on my 10 minute face and I will take a deep breath and remember that I can do this so easily and yay I get to play with colors and paint my face. I never feel like I need it on my face to go anywhere. It's an extension of my personality, but shouldn't be an integral part of it.

One of my favorite things about makeup is the ability to feel like you're changing characters when you try different looks- from the dramatic pinup-esque to romantic and frou-frou, with a bazillion different variations, obv. My current obsession is color and looking for lots of fun colors that go well with my skin. Which is not easy, and is also the reason I turned to the stupid expensive designer makeup- most drugstore brands don't quite offer the range of colors suited for Asian (and other minority) skin tones and I got tired of trying to look through it all. The nice thing about designer brands is yes, that tube of lipgloss costs twice as much as it would at the drugstore, but when you're at the makeup counter, you get to try on the shades you want and you go home with a color you know looks good on you.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:45 pm UTC

Yeah. I've been confident to get outrageous colors at Target or Wal-mart, 'cos they're supposed to be outrageous, but I was hesitant to get anything involving skin tones because I just don't know what looks good on me.

Edit: What companies accessible in the middle of the US would be most friendly to non-Caucasian skin tones? My aunt recommended Shiseido, but I don't think they have a location in town.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shro » Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:49 pm UTC

Do you have a Sephora? They usually carry all the brands. Also, Department stores (Macy's, Nordstrom's, Lord and Taylor) will have makeup counters inside the store. I have heard fantastic things about Shiseido, but haven't tried any of their stuff.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:59 pm UTC

Shiseido is pretty big in Taiwan, where my aunt lives. Makes sense that they would have stuff formulated for non-Caucasian tones.

I believe there's a Sephora outlet thingy in the JC Penny in my town. Must investigate...

What are the benefits of cream eyeshadow vs. powder eyeshadow?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby charolastra » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:01 pm UTC

Powder tends to be softer and cream is more TA DA for me. I use Urban Decay's eyelid primer or else cream eyeshadow melts off and powder rubs off after a little longer.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:04 pm UTC

Weeellll, that would explain why after a night of clubbing, my silver cream eyeshadow was smeared any which way on my eyes rather than the nice crescent I had it in to begin with. Primer?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shro » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:13 pm UTC

charolastra wrote:Powder tends to be softer and cream is more TA DA for me. I use Urban Decay's eyelid primer or else cream eyeshadow melts off and powder rubs off after a little longer.

I have mostly powders, but that's because I do most of my applications with brushes, and I just find that easier with powder. Urban Decay's "Eyeshadow Primer Potion" is pretty much the best thing, it keeps colors where you want them and for longer.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aiea » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:28 pm UTC

Is it strange to admit, that I have absolutely no idea how to apply makeup? I had to have my husband teach me how to put on lipstick. I still don't know anything about the other stuff that normally? goes on a face.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:37 pm UTC

Haha, that's kind of where I am now. My current strategy is "smear it on and see how it looks."

Lipstick doesn't seem to give me trouble because I have somewhat full lips and so far I haven't needed to mess with lip liner. The eyes are giving me a bit of trouble, but I'm muddling my way through googling "asian eyeshadow" and I haven't even touched on the concept of blending colors yet. So far my eyeliner strategy is "Trace the eyes. Now squidge some more on there. See how it looks."

I'm likely never to bother with blush or anything on my cheeks, so I think I'm safe.

Unless, of course, I put together a White Violin costume after all...and I'll have to figure out how bodypaint works.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shro » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:38 pm UTC

Aiea wrote:Is it strange to admit, that I have absolutely no idea how to apply makeup? I had to have my husband teach me how to put on lipstick. I still don't know anything about the other stuff that normally? every once in awhile, goes on a face.

Just because every once in awhile I talk about how awesome make up is, does not mean I think that it should ever be a "normal" part of anyone's routine- do it because you want to, not because you're expected to. Make-up is one of those things that it's important to cultivate a healthy relationship with, especially because of the preponderance of self-esteem crushing media portrayals of women.

How in need of a Makeup 101 are the people in this thread?
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Last edited by Shro on Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:39 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:39 pm UTC

Not strange at all. Not everyone learns it, and it is a skill to know how to do it.

I'm not invested in applying makeup, so I've only learned a few things. Some people enjoy doing it, and learn to do a lot of things. Experience may vary.

Edit: Links would probably be better than posts, for 101. Mainly because right now I don't want it, but later on I might, and finding a specific post in a huge thread is much harder than finding a link.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:47 pm UTC

Maybe start a new thread for Makeup 101? There are probably men in the forums who can also contribute their cosmetic knowledge, as well. We have a thread devoted just to hair, so I don't see why makeup can't sustain itself as a thread too.

Edit: but also, links would be helpful too. Whatever works.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aiea » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:52 pm UTC

Mostly I don't care, haven't ever had to wear it, hope I never will, I enjoy my face as it is. Just sometimes I feel a bit out of the loop of some secrect how to put on makeup club that I never joined. It amuses me. Though I do enjoy pouncing on my girl friends from time to time and telling them to paint my nails for me. My husband while an expert miniature painter, can't seem to manage painting my nails. (And I physically can't do it myself.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby doogly » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:55 pm UTC

Solution: get smaller nails.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby paulisa » Thu Nov 03, 2011 7:02 pm UTC

I detest the feel of nailpolish on my nails, to an irrational degree. It's not just when I touch something with my nails so the contact comes sooner than expected, it's also the feel of the air or just the nail itself. I can't really explain it, it just feels kinda icky even when my hands are lying flat in still air.

I've also had some problems with makeup, mainly because I can't see it. I hardly notice when other people wear it, and I don't see anything if I put it on myself. When I look in the mirror there's just my face, and I can't figure what effects eyeshadow or eyeliner or whatever are having. I feel uncomfortable when someone else notices I'm wearing makeup, because I feel as though I must have overdone it for people to see it. So now I wear nothing at work, uni, everyday life, but when I hit the town I have a standard eyeshadow-thing that I can put on in minute and feels ok.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amie » Thu Nov 03, 2011 7:49 pm UTC

Does kohl count as makeup? That's the only "makeup" I use. I don't like it when people tell me I look "SO much better" with makeup. Makes me feel like my face without makeup is that much less tolerable for them. I know a few people who wear makeup all the time and aren't jerks about it -- they're fine. It's just that a whopping majority of the people I meet are too concerned about stuff like that and I abhor it. I get that stupid "jerk" reaction to the whole waxing/shaving arm/leg hair too. I don't and everyone else is constantly egging me on to do it. Grahhh. Why can't people just let me go and do what they want without giving a rat's ass about whether I do the same or not? >.<
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Nov 03, 2011 7:56 pm UTC

I mean...there's a reason why I don't put on makeup 99% of the time. I'd never even touched an eyeliner pencil until two weeks ago. I'm just getting interested in it now because it augments my steampunk costuming.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby charolastra » Thu Nov 03, 2011 8:14 pm UTC

I taught myself to do my own makeup. Sometimes it fails epically, but practice helps. My mom either doesn't wear makeup or wears it badly, so I've taken to taking her to Sephora and helping her pick out colors that make her look less of a 1980s drag queen.

Off topic from the conversation : Shark Week just started after 9 months of not having it due to chemo. I'm of mixed feelings. One, yay I am not permanently in menopause and I have a shot at having kids! On the other hand, boo MUCH worse cramps that I ever had before, huge mood swings, and hormone fluctuations that are exacerbated by already screwed up hormones.

Also, busiest workweek ever for this to happen during. Ugh.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sandry » Thu Nov 03, 2011 8:55 pm UTC

+1 for yay makeup 101. I basically only do it for when I'm looking to go clubbing/dancing and am dressed up gothtastically, and partially the same reasons that pbd said - if I want to look unnatural and odd, I'm fine doing that. I have yet to be in a situation where it would be extremely beneficial/necessary to be able to do a natural looking made up face, and don't really know what I would do if I had to.

Realistically speaking, I'm not likely to add it to my daily regimen any time soon, but being more clue-enabled would be super. Will watch the linked video at some not-at-work point... :)

Also: yay for your body re-establishing period-related norms... That's encouraging. I hope the cramping goes away ASAP!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Thu Nov 03, 2011 9:28 pm UTC

This is the part where I waltz in and say that Making Faces and Face Forward by Kevyn Aucoin are really great books for learning how to do makeup. Step-by-step instructions on just about every kind of makeup ever, as used on people of various races, ages, genders and sexes. There are wild and crazy looks, as well as barely-any-makeup relatively natural looks. Also gorgeous photography, and a sense of humor.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby natraj » Thu Nov 03, 2011 9:30 pm UTC

Making Faces+++, I have not read the other but Kevin Aucoin is great. I love that book I do not own a copy but I want to.

(I am bad with makeup but I like it. In bright silly colors.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Thu Nov 03, 2011 9:54 pm UTC

Shro wrote:Holla if you're tired of the False pretty/smart dichotomy women/girls have to deal with.

Holla! I'm not gorgeous-beautiful-pretty, but I'm pretty-cute-pretty. This means that I am assumed to be less smart because I am sociable and friendly and pretty and female. Grumble Grumble.

I too am bad with makeup though. I can handle foundation and mascara and blush, but if I try to do eyeliner or eyeshadow or lipliner or lipstick or pretty much anything else... I look like my makeup blew up on me. Lol!

Shro wrote:Makeup is more of a hobby for me- and has very much been kind of a loner hobby. I have a 1 minute face, a 3 minute face... etc. that I pull out on different occasions. My mother always expects me to "look nice" and sometimes she's make a point of telling me to wear makeup, which, obviously, still makes me not want to wear makeup. Jacque will just calm me down and tell me to put on my 10 minute face and I will take a deep breath and remember that I can do this so easily and yay I get to play with colors and paint my face. I never feel like I need it on my face to go anywhere. It's an extension of my personality, but shouldn't be an integral part of it.


I like this -- 1 min face, 3 min face, 10 min face. How do you categorize these?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Thu Nov 03, 2011 9:55 pm UTC

I own them both. They are hiding with my other books right now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby AngrySquirrel » Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:54 pm UTC

When people tell me I'm smart I always suspect they say it as an indirect way of saying I'm not that pretty. And vice versa.

Fuck you society, for making me this way.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby AnnaArmour » Fri Nov 04, 2011 2:27 am UTC

For the makeup-challenged, there's this article on Autostraddle. The comments are a mixture of exasperated femmes and gender non-conforming women giving advice.
For covering a zit... I'd use a facial scrub and moisturizer, then dab on some liquid concealor and powder.

But yeah, when I put on makeup, I don't try to look like an airbrushed version of myself. I know whatever I do isn't going to drastically change how I look. I darken my eyes and make my lips a cool color. That's about it.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shro » Fri Nov 04, 2011 3:15 am UTC

Cathy wrote:I like this -- 1 min face, 3 min face, 10 min face. How do you categorize these?

They've been separated so I never get caught doing more makeup than I have time for. The 3 minute face is a buildup off of the 1 minute face, the 5 minute face a build off of the 3 minute... etc.

So say I'm getting ready for whatever and I only have a minute before I have to be out the door and I've already done my routine wash face, moisturize, etc. I put on a little bit of tinted moisturizer on a makeup sponge, blend it in to my entire face. Apply some mascara, focusing on the base of the lashes to mimic a subtle eyeliner effect. Done.
Oh, hey, my husband just had to take my dog outside before you leave. I have an extra two minutes. Go.
Take some concealer, using a brush, blend into any pigmented zones (acne scars, acne, tattoos).
Bronzer sweep in places I imagine the sun would be shining on my face if I didn't live in the frozen tundra of a northern wasteland. Sometimes in the dead of winter when I am in the deepest denial of how the sun don't shine no more, I will use cream bronzer and go for like dewy glowy bronzy which is fun in the summer too obviously, but I usually don't wear makeup in the summer because seriously I would just sweat it off like every 15 minutes, which is almost precisely the look I'm going for when I use the cream bronzer stuff in the winter.
And now back to my face. I will line my eyes in a purple/brown/gray/dark blue color. I find this is much more interesting than plain black liner, and much less harsh for daytime.(Do not match this color to your clothes really, treat all of these colors as neutrals that can go with anything. You can pick colors to highlight your eye color, depending.)

You see how this system can be useful.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:08 am UTC

natraj wrote:Making Faces+++, I have not read the other but Kevin Aucoin is great. I love that book I do not own a copy but I want to.

(I am bad with makeup but I like it. In bright silly colors.)


Just going to third (fourth?) the Making Faces suggestion. *looks over to her end table where it's sitting*



Unrelated: prospective wedding venues, y u no post pricing info? (Yeah yeah, I know they don't want to encourage comparison shopping, but still... as someone who is going to comparison shop regardless, it makes my life so much more difficult.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby GraphiteGirl » Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:17 am UTC

I've heard a lot of event providers of all stripes will slap on a 'wedding markup' if you tell them it's for a wedding - try getting a quote before you tell them it's for a wedding, if possible.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Felstaff » Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:29 am UTC

Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby DSenette » Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:29 pm UTC

natraj wrote:Making Faces+++, I have not read the other but Kevin Aucoin is great. I love that book I do not own a copy but I want to.

(I am bad with makeup but I like it. In bright silly colors.)

it's a shame that he died.....he really was an artist (really nice guy too)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Moo » Fri Nov 04, 2011 3:08 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Actually, what you posted is kinda topical after all. :P Have you and Hubby decided to how allocate parenting/work duties?
Sorry it took me so long to respond, I know it's quite off topic by now.

First, I's just like to say, +1 for Boiing and all things Benefit!

To answer your question: Hubby would LOVE to be a stay-at home dad, but the decision comes down to practicality & economics. He's more dedicated to his career than me, has bem building it for far longer & earns casualty more than me. That's in part because I (we, really) made the decision to work for a small company (8 people) that values work-life balance & allows me to work from home.

So he's gonna be bringing home most of the bacon & I'm going to be on unpaid maternity leave for 4 months, then working from home for as long a it's practical. I think if I quit mrt job I's stand a real chance of getting cabin fever and getting intellectually bored.

We both believe in him sharing the parental load proportionalto time available though, for 3 reasons:
1. That's only fair
2. Lukas has 2 parents & we want him to feel close to & cared for by both
3. We want to raise him to be bilingual. Given our circumstances the "1 parent, 1 language" approach makes most sense to me. Hubby needs to spend enough time with him so he can learn English.

Apologies for any bits that don't make sense, you have no idea how hard it is to use the fora from my Android phone
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Isotope_238 » Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:45 pm UTC

I'm taking notes on this wealth of information and advice. Now all I need to do is find out where makeup is sold in my town.

And I would also love a Makeup 101 thread. I can't see myself ever wearing much makeup, but I do love reading the how-tos.

edit for more thoughts:
So I've been reading some makeup guides in various places around the internet. Way too many of them say something like "$cosmetic is something no woman can go without" or "if you're one of the women lucky enough not to need $cosmetic".
This annoys the ever-living fuck out of me.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:39 pm UTC

Just watched the first episode of the latest season of Bones - was annoyed by:

Spoiler:
Now that Booth and Brennan are dating and she's pregnant, Booth has gone ultra- 'manly' with demanding that they get a new house (as opposed to moving in to Brennan's large apartment) and that the two of them buy the house 50-50 (even though Brennan has a lot more money). Brennan only stood up for herself for a bit of the time (by mentioning the Iriquois having a matriarchal inheritance system - she's quite sexist in her own right even though she uses different cultures sexisms to defend it), but once Booth started talking about how he wanted to show that he could provide for the baby and always be there for it, she caved, without even mentioning the fact that it shouldn't really matter who's making the money, or who bought the house in the first place, as by the time it's old enough to understand, they would have probably made whatever living-space into one that expresses both parents.

It just feels like it's telling successful (here defined by how much money you make) women that they better not provide for the man, or they'll get very annoyed.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby The EGE » Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:11 am UTC

Booth has some clearly delineated notions about his role as a male. Frequently, they're presented as a flaw as much as a virtue.
sillybear25 wrote:But it's NPH, so it's creepy in the best possible way.

Shivahn wrote:I'm in your abstractions, burning your notions of masculinity.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:18 am UTC

And women are sometimes tired of that. We're sometimes tired of being used as the (pardon the term) straight man for the proper display of a male's flaws. And never, at least not in mainstream media, getting to see a woman fight back against those flaws effectively. It wears down one's tolerance for that kind of thing, after a while.

If I'm wrong about the "never in mainstream media" thing, please do let me know. I'd rather like to watch some things that don't make me feel worse for being a woman.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby The EGE » Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:27 am UTC

Yeah. Booth pisses me the fuck off sometimes.
sillybear25 wrote:But it's NPH, so it's creepy in the best possible way.

Shivahn wrote:I'm in your abstractions, burning your notions of masculinity.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Mavketl » Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:22 am UTC

Re: Booth. OH GOD YES. I hate it that 'mild' misogynism / a very gendered view of the world is the go-to character flaw for male Good Guys. We're still supposed to like them and see it as a charming quirk and I'm getting really tired of that.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby GraphiteGirl » Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:25 am UTC

poxic wrote:And women are sometimes tired of that. We're sometimes tired of being used as the (pardon the term) straight man for the proper display of a male's flaws. And never, at least not in mainstream media, getting to see a woman fight back against those flaws effectively. It wears down one's tolerance for that kind of thing, after a while.

If I'm wrong about the "never in mainstream media" thing, please do let me know. I'd rather like to watch some things that don't make me feel worse for being a woman.

Have you seen Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind? There's a great scene in that lampshading the whole 'manic pixie dream girl is always expected to save the floundering man' thing. Look out for the bookshop scene.
Sandry wrote:Man, my commitment to sparkle motion is waaaaay lower than you are intimating.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby The EGE » Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:17 pm UTC

Okay, second person in as many days to say good things about Eternal Sunshine. That's it, time to watch it.
sillybear25 wrote:But it's NPH, so it's creepy in the best possible way.

Shivahn wrote:I'm in your abstractions, burning your notions of masculinity.


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