I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

For the discussion of the sciences. Physics problems, chemistry equations, biology weirdness, it all goes here.

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KarenRei
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I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby KarenRei » Tue Jan 19, 2016 12:44 pm UTC

I trust science. It's given us everything that matters, like computers, penicillin, and the all new 2016 Honda Civic with a 174-hp turbo 1.5-liter and brand new interior. Because of this, I tend to turn over my everyday decisionmaking processes to it. When it comes to biology, I've found that phylogenetic trees are a good way to do this.

Example: if I'm not sure what type of fowl sounds good to eat, one can simply turn to phylogeny:

Great: Phasianidae - chicken, turkey, partridge, grouse, peacock
Good: Galloanserae - duck, goose, new world quail, guineafowl, swan, mound-builder bird
Okay: Palaeognathae - ostrich, emu, cassowary, kiwi, moa
Avoid: Neoaves - parrot, flamingo, great horned owl, Rüppell's korhaan, red-faced mousebird, violaceous trogon

It makes it really easy. Another example: if I'm searching for a pet, one can very easily decide:

Great: Carnivora - dog, housecat, ferret, civet, pallas cat, panda, southern elephant seal
Good: Pegasoferae - horse, donkey, zebra, tapir, pangolin, fruit bat, rhinoceros
Okay: Laurasiatheria - cow, pig, sheep, hedgehog, camel, giraffe, mule deer, humpback whale, other humans
Avoid: Elephant, dugong, rock hyrax, platypus, box jellyfish, tapeworm

Trust in science. If you don't trust in science, you'll be having a lousy meal of red-faced mousebird while nursing your jellyfish stings.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jan 19, 2016 1:03 pm UTC

My tapeworm is an awesome pet, thank you very much.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby eviloatmeal » Tue Jan 19, 2016 1:19 pm UTC

KarenRei wrote:Great: Carnivora

Wolf, hyena, grizzly bear, seal, lynx, walrus...

Yeah, great.

Also, a dugong would make a fantastic pet.
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Opus_723
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Opus_723 » Tue Jan 19, 2016 6:40 pm UTC

Not that I doubt your system or anything, but I'm having trouble riding my fruit bat. Does anyone have any advice?

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SDK
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby SDK » Tue Jan 19, 2016 6:43 pm UTC

Science says: Lose some weight.
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KarenRei
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby KarenRei » Tue Jan 19, 2016 8:32 pm UTC

Opus_723 wrote:Not that I doubt your system or anything, but I'm having trouble riding my fruit bat. Does anyone have any advice?


Fruit bats are only supposed to be kept in colonies, so that you can use leg harnesses to fly quadcopter style. That's why they're only "good" pets.

Tyndmyr
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Tyndmyr » Wed Jan 20, 2016 7:18 pm UTC

Clearly, a ferret would have been a superior steed.

p1t1o
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby p1t1o » Tue Jan 26, 2016 3:48 pm UTC

Swan is apparently not all that tasty, unlike ducks and geese.

There, science has ruined your fun.

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eSOANEM
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby eSOANEM » Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:09 am UTC

Also in what world are duck and goose not better than chicken and turkey?
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Izawwlgood
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Izawwlgood » Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:48 am UTC

p1t1o wrote:Swan is apparently not all that tasty, unlike ducks and geese.
And Zeus is such an asshole.

Personally, I'd love to have an elephant life partner.
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby jewish_scientist » Wed Jan 27, 2016 3:40 pm UTC

I would love to have a platypus for a pet. Also, cows are way better pets than ferrets; have you ever tried to milk a ferret.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Jan 27, 2016 3:41 pm UTC

No, but I have also never tried to milk a dog.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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p1t1o
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby p1t1o » Wed Jan 27, 2016 3:55 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:No, but I have also never tried to milk a dog.


Pics or it happened.

ijuin
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby ijuin » Wed Jan 27, 2016 5:37 pm UTC

Pics of something that he never did? That's a non-sequitur.

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gmalivuk
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby gmalivuk » Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:01 pm UTC

p1t1o wrote:
Neil_Boekend wrote:No, but I have also never tried to milk a dog.


Pics or it happened.

His avatar is a picture of him not trying to milk a dog.
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Tyndmyr
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Tyndmyr » Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:54 pm UTC

He could be trying, there. You can't see his hands. Very suspicious.

p1t1o
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby p1t1o » Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:35 pm UTC

ijuin wrote:Pics of something that he never did? That's a non-sequitur.


Thats not what a non-sequitur is. Bananas are rarely eaten by dogs.

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Copper Bezel
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Copper Bezel » Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:54 pm UTC

*cough*

Spoiler:
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p1t1o
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby p1t1o » Wed Jan 27, 2016 11:46 pm UTC

*cough-ka-courrrgghaaah...kof*

Spoiler:
Well, it did have logic, being a derivative of a common saying, and a clear joke-paradox. Well anyway, that's what I thought. Bananas was definitely a non-sequiter. Was that one? Wait. Was that? Ugh-oh.
Peace!


**edit**
Izawwlgood wrote:
p1t1o wrote:Swan is apparently not all that tasty, unlike ducks and geese.
And Zeus is such an asshole.

Personally, I'd love to have an elephant life partner.


I just now got this :) I was like "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:09 pm UTC

p1t1o wrote:
Neil_Boekend wrote:No, but I have also never tried to milk a dog.


Pics or it happened.

Quite correct. Here are all the required pictures:
Spoiler:
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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LaserGuy
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby LaserGuy » Wed Feb 03, 2016 7:20 pm UTC

KarenRei wrote:It makes it really easy. Another example: if I'm searching for a pet, one can very easily decide:

Great: Carnivora - dog, housecat, ferret, civet, pallas cat, panda, southern elephant seal


Of these, I'd say that only the dog really makes a good pet.

Good: Pegasoferae - horse, donkey, zebra, tapir, pangolin, fruit bat, rhinoceros


My understanding is that domestication of rhinos and zebras is quite challenging, aside from the legal problems of acquiring an exotic pet. You'd need a fairly specialized habitat and care. Horses and donkeys are very expensive to keep as pets unless you live on a farm or similarly sized property.

Okay: Laurasiatheria - cow, pig, sheep, hedgehog, camel, giraffe, mule deer, humpback whale, other humans


Pigs probably make better pets than a lot of the ones in your Good or Great categories, TBH. Humpback whale weighs 36000 kg and can eat 2000 kg of food per day in the feeding season. In the wild they have a range of 25000 km. It's hard to imagine a worse pet. Depending on your definition of "pet", humans probably actually make pretty good ones.

Avoid: Elephant, dugong, rock hyrax, platypus, box jellyfish, tapeworm


Elephants can be domesticated much easier than many other animals listed here, and probably make quite decent pets if you have the ability to care for one. Cats also should be in this category rather than "Great".

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Mar 01, 2016 5:56 pm UTC

Pandas are just terrible. They look cute, but that's about it. They can and will maul you.

Non-phylogentic concerns dominate over correlations with phylogentics.

The biggest one is if the animal has been bred for domesticity. For example close relatives of the house cat spray a lot and have no social bonds between adults (and by extension as adults have no bonds to humans). Even within the same species some dog breeds are way too violent to be pets, because they were bred that way. Apparently domestication can happen in about 40 generations.

Another one is size, elephants are dangerous primarily because their size and require large amounts space/ food/ cleanup. An elephants that's too small to accidentally hurt you would be a much better pet.
Last edited by Quizatzhaderac on Mon Mar 07, 2016 10:45 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I trust science. So I let it make decisions for me.

Postby Aiwendil » Thu Mar 03, 2016 5:29 pm UTC

Quizatzhaderac wrote:The biggest one is if the animal has been bread for domesticity..


Yeah, my preferred pets are rye and wheat. I know some people like oats, but I just don't find them affectionate enough.


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