Good News, Bad News

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jun 28, 2016 7:08 pm UTC

Bad news: the heat production kills you.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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thunk
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby thunk » Thu Jun 30, 2016 3:02 am UTC

Good news: It's a comic book death.
Free markets, free movement, free plops
Blitz on, my friends Quantized, GnomeAnne, and iskinner!
troo dat

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jun 30, 2016 7:50 am UTC

Bad news: it still hurts like hell.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Thu Jun 30, 2016 8:55 am UTC

Good news: Hell is not very painful.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:01 am UTC

Bad news: the bus with broken brakes coming in at 120 km/h from the left will hurt significantly more than hell.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Fri Jul 01, 2016 1:16 am UTC

Good news: there's a ramp between you and the bus.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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thunk
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby thunk » Fri Jul 01, 2016 3:28 am UTC

Bad news: The ramp is farther away than you judged it to be.
Free markets, free movement, free plops
Blitz on, my friends Quantized, GnomeAnne, and iskinner!
troo dat

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Fri Jul 01, 2016 6:05 am UTC

Good news: If you duck, the bus is still going to miss you.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jul 01, 2016 7:23 am UTC

Bad news: There is no duck to be found.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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thunk
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby thunk » Fri Jul 01, 2016 7:31 am UTC

Good news: You can still duck under the water.
Free markets, free movement, free plops
Blitz on, my friends Quantized, GnomeAnne, and iskinner!
troo dat

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jul 01, 2016 7:38 am UTC

Bad news: you can't breathe under the water.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sat Jul 02, 2016 5:11 pm UTC

Good news: Now that the bus has passed, you can easily surface and breathe again.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:17 am UTC

Bad news: You didn't notice the second bus
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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thunk
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby thunk » Mon Jul 11, 2016 4:48 am UTC

Good news: It's heading in reverse.
Free markets, free movement, free plops
Blitz on, my friends Quantized, GnomeAnne, and iskinner!
troo dat

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Jul 11, 2016 9:48 am UTC

Bad news: you're behind it.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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thunk
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby thunk » Thu Jul 14, 2016 5:02 am UTC

Good news: The bus swerves.
Free markets, free movement, free plops
Blitz on, my friends Quantized, GnomeAnne, and iskinner!
troo dat

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jul 14, 2016 7:46 am UTC

Bad news: it topples over on top of you.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Thu Jul 14, 2016 6:44 pm UTC

Good news: You are indestructible!
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Thu Jul 14, 2016 6:48 pm UTC

Bad news: Indestructibility does terrible things for your flexibility. You find yourself unable to move.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jul 14, 2016 7:04 pm UTC

Good news: moving is highly overrated.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:43 pm UTC

Bad news: You go mad from boredom and begin to think of yourself as a tin man.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:55 pm UTC

Good news: you grow tall enough to reach the top shelf now.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:58 pm UTC

Bad news: The cookies were guarded by sensors which have just opened a trapdoor beneath your feet that leads down into a bottomless pit.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:02 pm UTC

Good news: The pit is truely bottomless. You'll never hit the bottom and you quickly get used to the weightlessness. You take out your phone and check forums.xkcd.com .
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:08 pm UTC

Bad news: Your phone runs out of batteries.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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SirGabriel
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SirGabriel » Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:24 pm UTC

Good news: Your iPad is fully charged.

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:28 pm UTC

Bad news: It's sitting back at home.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jul 15, 2016 7:46 pm UTC

Good news: so are you.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:15 pm UTC

Bad news: Your house is on fire!
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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SirGabriel
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SirGabriel » Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:31 pm UTC

Good news: The house you live in isn't on fire, but the other house you own, which you loaned to the fire department to use for training, is, as it's supposed to be.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:33 pm UTC

Bad news: the insurance won't pay for the damage.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SirGabriel
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SirGabriel » Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:36 pm UTC

Good news: the house was emptied of anything that could be damaged by fire before the fire department started the fire.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sat Jul 16, 2016 10:36 am UTC

Bad news: they didn't remove the hidden metric tonne of weed.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Sat Jul 16, 2016 12:57 pm UTC

Good news: the bakery in the neighbourhood immediately downwind is now making a huge profit.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sat Jul 16, 2016 1:26 pm UTC

Bad news. Their products are laced with a strong neurotoxin due to a cleaning error.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Sat Jul 16, 2016 4:01 pm UTC

Good news: That doesn't affect you, sitting safely far away, using your iPad to browse forums.xkcd.com.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:42 pm UTC

bad news: your Internet connection dies.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:49 pm UTC

Good news: You can revive it by using a small carrot, two spoonfuls of sugar, a drop of water and several big hammers.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:51 pm UTC

Bad news: you're fresh out of carrots.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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flicky1991
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:52 pm UTC

Good news: you know a guy who knows a guy that can get carrots.
any pronouns (mainly she/he)
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