Corrupt-a-wish

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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Oct 30, 2017 8:27 pm UTC

granted. The only actually good person gets everything good. Everyone else is doomed to Hell on Earth.

I wish that work gave me more time off.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:30 pm UTC

granted, you're fired. you now have as much "time off" as you need.

i don't wish.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:56 pm UTC

I wish phillip1882 had wished.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:08 am UTC

Granted. He wishes that you wouldn't wish that he had wished. Between the two of you, the logic paradox ended the universe and replaced it with one in which quantum mechanics is true.

I wish "The Truth About Lies" (movie) gets broad distribution. (It's excellent; I just saw it.)

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:40 pm UTC

granted. Expect a major Hollywood reboot by Micheal Bay next year, with 18 sequels. It will be totally unrecognizable as the original movie, excepting the name of the film.


I wish that people understood what I mean, rather than what I say at face value.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:49 pm UTC

Granted. This doesn't affect their actions though; they still act based on what you said at face value.

I wish for an honest politician.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby itaibn » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:52 pm UTC

Granted. S/he makes a bunch of awful confessions that make him/her extremely unpopular, so s/he never gets elected to any office. I didn't even need to corrupt that wish, this is just what happens.

I wish upon a star.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:56 am UTC

Granted. You die from the vacuum of space and the radiation of the star.

I wish for chocolate.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby itaibn » Fri Nov 10, 2017 10:19 pm UTC

Congratulations, you received a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory! You subsequently die there in a suitably ironic way.

I wish Willy Wonka would make his factory OSHA-compliant, geeze.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thedujin » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:06 am UTC

Granted. But his factory only produces normal candy now. Bye bye Everlasting Gobstoppers!

I wish I knew the meaning of life.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Freddino18 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:53 pm UTC

Granted. It is 42. You now need to spend over 4 billion years to calculate the question of life.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Wed Nov 15, 2017 2:00 pm UTC

Granted. Whereas I get a merry Christmas, and a happy new year, you have the objectively worst Christmas ever.

I wish for Donald Trump to accept that climate change is a real thing.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:22 pm UTC

Granted. He thinks it's caused by solar power, and begins a campaign to shield the earth with smog to keep the earth cool.

I wish for a nice day.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:23 pm UTC

Granted. Did you know that beautiful days can cause cancer?

I wish people would remember to make a wish in their posts.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:32 pm UTC

Granted but only 2 people remember, which do not include me.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby itaibn » Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:19 pm UTC

Granted, not including a wish was necessary for your joke to work, but c'mon, give me something to work with!

I wish for lots of rain and a good harvest.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:19 pm UTC

granted, it rains so much it floods, and the harvest is of fish.

i wish blessing water gave it mild healing properties.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:26 pm UTC

Granted, but swearing in the presence of water makes it poisonous.

I wish I had a better personality.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Billy5545 » Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:05 am UTC

Granted, you only become slightly better in social personality

I wish NationStates removed the autoprune on their Forum 7 subforum and that all autopruned threads will be revived there

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Mon Nov 20, 2017 2:09 pm UTC

Granted. The forum server explodes because it ran out of disk space.

I wish for [REDACTED].
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Mon Nov 20, 2017 4:25 pm UTC

Granted, your [Redacted] is so [Redacted] it [Redacted]

I wish I knew if he put the Redacted there like I did in my posts, or if a moderator actually did it.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Billy5545 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 10:04 am UTC

Granted, it turns out that it's added by the SCP Foundation, who then erased your memory

I wish I can revive all autopruned threads from NationStates

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:53 pm UTC

granted. Instead, all the threads of all your clothing is autopruned.

I wish my beard was autopruned.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ArguablyDerek » Tue Nov 21, 2017 10:34 pm UTC

Granted. A drone flies into your house (typically through the ceiling) every hour to prune your beard.

I wish I was DefinitelyDerek.
~~~

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 10:51 pm UTC

Granted. You are instantly identifiable as Derek, even when you don't want to be.

I wish I could instantly change my body into any form, whenever I want.
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Spoiler:
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flicky1991 wrote:Maybe I am a female Justin Bieber!
Justine Bieber. Alternatively, Miley Cyrus.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Billy5545 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:06 pm UTC

Granted, however, the process is pretty disturbing send disgusting, scaring people away

I wish I'm less lazy

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:09 pm UTC

Granted. You already are less lazy than lazier folk, of which there are millions.

I wish for nuclear war.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:09 pm UTC

Granted. You are the first to die.

I wish for martial arts skills.
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Spoiler:
Weeks wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:Maybe I am a female Justin Bieber!
Justine Bieber. Alternatively, Miley Cyrus.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:42 am UTC

Granted - they exist all around you. You don't have any.

I wish for swirled peas.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Billy5545 » Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:19 am UTC

Granted, it's rotten

I wish I'm smarter

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ArguablyDerek » Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:20 pm UTC

Granted, you were smarter when posting that, but have now lost intelligence.

I wish I wasn't DefinitelyDerek.
~~~

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:31 pm UTC

Granted. No-one can recognise you, ever.

I wish the world was a bit gayer.
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Spoiler:
Weeks wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:Maybe I am a female Justin Bieber!
Justine Bieber. Alternatively, Miley Cyrus.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:17 am UTC

Granted. All the heterosexual people on earth die. Continuing human population now requires acts that feel artificial and are not very pleasant. Humanity soon withers to a tiny tribe of a few thousand.

Hmmm.... maybe that's not so bad.

I wish pain weren't so painful.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

Billy5545
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Billy5545 » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:00 am UTC

Granted, people died as their pain is not that bad, and thus, don't pay much attention to serious injuries.

I wish I know why the player above me use Jose in the post

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 8:07 pm UTC

granted, its so people know his real name.

i wish knowledge was power.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Dec 01, 2017 2:45 am UTC

Granted. Everyone who walks into a library or a university is electrocuted. Half the internet shorts out (the parts hosting cat videos, flat earthers, and porn remain). The White House is unaffected.

I wish no-script would be updated for the newest Firefox, and would remain effective in all future browsers.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:14 pm UTC

Granted, but the next update will require you to register. The registration process involves sending your address to the communist government so that they know who's responsible if Taiwan becomes its own country.

I wish for the release of Starcraft 3.
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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:43 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:Granted, but the next update will require you to register.
Man, you play hardball!

Your wish is granted. Starcraft 3 is released. It is so bug-ridden as to be unplayable on anything. The entire Starcraft franchise collapses as a result.

I wish for a meal with real Italian sausages (not the fake chicken kind), suitable for a wine I've been saving for three years, and that wine.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

Billy5545
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Billy5545 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:05 am UTC

Granted, they are somehow delivered by a delivery man. However, the motor carrying it crashed and burned, destroying all the meal

I wish I'm not lazy

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:16 am UTC

Granted, you're now so productive you never do anything fun.

I wish for warm weather at just the right temperature.
any pronouns (mainly she/he)
----
Avatar from ArguablyDerek
----
Discord for Forum Games posters
(Please let me know if the link doesn't work)
Spoiler:
Weeks wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:Maybe I am a female Justin Bieber!
Justine Bieber. Alternatively, Miley Cyrus.


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