Corrupt-a-wish

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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu May 10, 2018 6:47 pm UTC

granted - its the paper you placed your LSD on.

as soon as you lick it, it turns white and boring.



i wish i could get out of work early to go play pokemon.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu May 10, 2018 8:57 pm UTC

granted, you have much fun for the rest of the day.

i wish i could go bowling today.
Last edited by phillip1882 on Sun May 13, 2018 4:17 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Fri May 11, 2018 6:41 am UTC

Granted, but you are the one being bowled.

I wish I had better social skills.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri May 11, 2018 1:31 pm UTC

granted, but you lose all your other skills, including bowel control, the ability to feed yourself, and hygiene.

i wish it was the weekend already.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
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marionic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Fri May 11, 2018 5:34 pm UTC

Granted, it's 11:59:59.999pm on a Sunday... and you're still up?! Get some sleep!

I wish you were well-rested for Monday.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby LOLBeth » Fri May 11, 2018 7:24 pm UTC

Granted. I found a lovely fresh-water well in a glade, and got plenty of rest while listening to the gurgling water. I rested so well that's it's already Friday.

I wish the weather were nice enough outside to go hiking.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri May 11, 2018 10:34 pm UTC

Granted. It is. Somewhere else.

I wish for dinner.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun May 13, 2018 3:39 am UTC

granted. you get the most delicious dinner you've ever had.

i wish i could always find a good book at the library.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Sun May 13, 2018 5:18 am UTC

phillip1882 wrote:granted. you get the most delicious dinner you've ever had.


In what way is that a bad thing?

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Granted, you can find a good book, but you can't check it out.

I wish I had some Doritos.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun May 13, 2018 7:21 am UTC

i'm trying not corrupting wishes for a while and see what the result is.

granted. you get the most delicious Doritos ever.

i wish i didn't age anymore.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sun May 13, 2018 1:02 pm UTC

Granted. You don't. This even halts your brain development - you can no longer learn.
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marionic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Sun May 13, 2018 4:38 pm UTC

Granted, you didn't make a wish, therefore you wished for nothing, therefore you enter a world of emptiness. The void has consumed you.

I wish for the most delicious sandwich imaginable.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun May 13, 2018 5:14 pm UTC

i wish time machines where physically impossible.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Sun May 13, 2018 5:44 pm UTC

I wish for the most delicious sandwich imaginable.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sun May 13, 2018 8:07 pm UTC

I wish the previous three posters (myself included) had corrupted wishes.
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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sun May 13, 2018 8:25 pm UTC

Granted. The thread was less amusing as a result.

I wish for better hearing.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sun May 13, 2018 8:51 pm UTC

Granted. You can hear things much more easily, and therefore are much more sensitive. You slowly lose your hearing by working next to the helpdesk (the same way a lawnmowerperson needs to wear earmuffs).

I wish you could order spiral-cut-pizza at no extra cost.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun May 13, 2018 9:53 pm UTC

granted, but you get it cut in square shapes rather than triangle.

i wish for Jesus Christ's word to be truth, just to be clear.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon May 14, 2018 11:28 am UTC

granted, but he pronounces his name "Hay-zoose" and he lives in Rio, and is an underemployed retail shelf-stocker/street musician.

I wish that all religions were true, simultaneously.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Mon May 14, 2018 7:45 pm UTC

Granted, but this includes random theories made up by 4 year olds, including one who thought the world was going to end today at 10 PM, GMT.

I wish I had more time.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue May 15, 2018 12:09 am UTC

Granted. More time, less space. You have thirty years in an eight by eight cell, six feet high.

I wish for a quart of dead sand (pool sand).

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Tue May 15, 2018 7:39 pm UTC

granted, you have a quart of deadpool(sand). its gross, and when it regenerates you'll have a quart of Deadpool, which will eat until you have a full Deadpool. he NEVER EVER SHUTS UP.

i wish I had Wolverine's healing factor.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed May 16, 2018 6:25 pm UTC

Granted. You also have many usually-fatal diseases, keeping you in constant pain.

I wish to marry a handsome prince.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Wed May 16, 2018 6:42 pm UTC

Granted, but marrying him breaks the spell and turns him back into a wild frog.

I wish for a nice meal.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed May 16, 2018 6:49 pm UTC

Granted - it's your last meal, before being put to death.

I wish for a record player.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Wed May 16, 2018 7:16 pm UTC

Granted, but all records on Earth get destroyed by an anti-record beam created for a CD company to improve sales.

I wish for some CDs.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue May 22, 2018 4:44 am UTC

Granted. Your house is filled with the entire inventory of CD Baby. You hear a knock on the door. There is a black SUV parked outside, and two men in dark suits at the front door. They have questions for you.

I wish that the wish-granting genie has a wonderful day, and that xe remembers my wish when next I wish for something from xir.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Tue May 29, 2018 7:16 am UTC

Wish granted, congratulations. You no longer have to fear the ire of this genie. However, xe has been kidnapped and another malicious genie has come to take xir place.

I wish for fewer hurricanes and more tropical depressions.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Jun 01, 2018 1:15 pm UTC

granted, you can never order anotherhurricane, and every time you're in the tropics you get depressed.

I wish that I did not have gastroenteritis.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:36 am UTC

Granted, you died so your disease died too

I wish I had a hug.
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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 9:45 am UTC

Granted, but the other person doesn't let go and it makes you very uncomfortable.

I wish I could try any food I wanted.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:25 pm UTC

Granted. You lose all taste, and therefore feel like you could eat anything.

I wish I could predict how my wishes would be corrupted.
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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:31 pm UTC

Granted. This game becomes boring so you don't want to play any more.

I wish I could look different each day.
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marionic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Tue Jun 05, 2018 1:00 pm UTC

Granted, some days you are too small or too tall making life difficult.

I wish my phone was faster.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sableagle » Tue Jun 05, 2018 3:00 pm UTC

Your phone accelerates to 0.95c, causing widespread property damage that is only reported by media based in cities where you weren't.

I wish Maria would "punish me for my wicked ways" by magically transforming me into a perfectly healthy (and at least moderately attractive) 22-ish-year-old woman and finding me a new job, as in the plot of Cursed!.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:20 am UTC

Granted. Literally. You are employed as a stunt person in one of the many re-shoots that Cursed! entailed; the part calls for you to be placed into a casket and buried alive, only to be dug up later, just in time. In another of the many arguments during the shooting, they omit the digging-up scene, and you remain six feet under.

I wish the wasps' nest in the bushes by the deck disappeared, killing the wasps and taking them with it.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Wed Jun 20, 2018 4:07 am UTC

Granted. Instead of wasps, your garden now has several hundred scorpions wandering around to protect it from pests.

I wish for a trolly corruption.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jun 20, 2018 4:07 pm UTC

Granted.
Spoiler:
trolley_from_IMG_3341.JPG
trolley corruption
trolley_from_IMG_3341.JPG (24.27 KiB) Viewed 416 times


OTT redundancy:
Spoiler:
Image


I wish I could control the weather simply by wishing.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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marionic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Tue Jun 26, 2018 12:55 pm UTC

Granted, but the wishes must be in this thread and therefore will be corrupted.

I wish I were a wizard.
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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:37 pm UTC

granted.

i wish i had a functional time machine capable of going forward & backward in time, to places and times as I determine. OK, so a TARDIS. I want a TARDIS.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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