Corrupt-a-wish

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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu May 10, 2018 6:47 pm UTC

granted - its the paper you placed your LSD on.

as soon as you lick it, it turns white and boring.



i wish i could get out of work early to go play pokemon.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu May 10, 2018 8:57 pm UTC

granted, you have much fun for the rest of the day.

i wish i could go bowling today.
Last edited by phillip1882 on Sun May 13, 2018 4:17 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
good luck have fun

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marionic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Fri May 11, 2018 6:41 am UTC

Granted, but you are the one being bowled.

I wish I had better social skills.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri May 11, 2018 1:31 pm UTC

granted, but you lose all your other skills, including bowel control, the ability to feed yourself, and hygiene.

i wish it was the weekend already.
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marionic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Fri May 11, 2018 5:34 pm UTC

Granted, it's 11:59:59.999pm on a Sunday... and you're still up?! Get some sleep!

I wish you were well-rested for Monday.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby LOLBeth » Fri May 11, 2018 7:24 pm UTC

Granted. I found a lovely fresh-water well in a glade, and got plenty of rest while listening to the gurgling water. I rested so well that's it's already Friday.

I wish the weather were nice enough outside to go hiking.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri May 11, 2018 10:34 pm UTC

Granted. It is. Somewhere else.

I wish for dinner.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun May 13, 2018 3:39 am UTC

granted. you get the most delicious dinner you've ever had.

i wish i could always find a good book at the library.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Sun May 13, 2018 5:18 am UTC

phillip1882 wrote:granted. you get the most delicious dinner you've ever had.


In what way is that a bad thing?

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Granted, you can find a good book, but you can't check it out.

I wish I had some Doritos.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun May 13, 2018 7:21 am UTC

i'm trying not corrupting wishes for a while and see what the result is.

granted. you get the most delicious Doritos ever.

i wish i didn't age anymore.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sun May 13, 2018 1:02 pm UTC

Granted. You don't. This even halts your brain development - you can no longer learn.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Sun May 13, 2018 4:38 pm UTC

Granted, you didn't make a wish, therefore you wished for nothing, therefore you enter a world of emptiness. The void has consumed you.

I wish for the most delicious sandwich imaginable.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun May 13, 2018 5:14 pm UTC

i wish time machines where physically impossible.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Sun May 13, 2018 5:44 pm UTC

I wish for the most delicious sandwich imaginable.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sun May 13, 2018 8:07 pm UTC

I wish the previous three posters (myself included) had corrupted wishes.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sun May 13, 2018 8:25 pm UTC

Granted. The thread was less amusing as a result.

I wish for better hearing.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sun May 13, 2018 8:51 pm UTC

Granted. You can hear things much more easily, and therefore are much more sensitive. You slowly lose your hearing by working next to the helpdesk (the same way a lawnmowerperson needs to wear earmuffs).

I wish you could order spiral-cut-pizza at no extra cost.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun May 13, 2018 9:53 pm UTC

granted, but you get it cut in square shapes rather than triangle.

i wish for Jesus Christ's word to be truth, just to be clear.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon May 14, 2018 11:28 am UTC

granted, but he pronounces his name "Hay-zoose" and he lives in Rio, and is an underemployed retail shelf-stocker/street musician.

I wish that all religions were true, simultaneously.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Mon May 14, 2018 7:45 pm UTC

Granted, but this includes random theories made up by 4 year olds, including one who thought the world was going to end today at 10 PM, GMT.

I wish I had more time.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue May 15, 2018 12:09 am UTC

Granted. More time, less space. You have thirty years in an eight by eight cell, six feet high.

I wish for a quart of dead sand (pool sand).

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Tue May 15, 2018 7:39 pm UTC

granted, you have a quart of deadpool(sand). its gross, and when it regenerates you'll have a quart of Deadpool, which will eat until you have a full Deadpool. he NEVER EVER SHUTS UP.

i wish I had Wolverine's healing factor.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed May 16, 2018 6:25 pm UTC

Granted. You also have many usually-fatal diseases, keeping you in constant pain.

I wish to marry a handsome prince.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Wed May 16, 2018 6:42 pm UTC

Granted, but marrying him breaks the spell and turns him back into a wild frog.

I wish for a nice meal.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed May 16, 2018 6:49 pm UTC

Granted - it's your last meal, before being put to death.

I wish for a record player.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Wed May 16, 2018 7:16 pm UTC

Granted, but all records on Earth get destroyed by an anti-record beam created for a CD company to improve sales.

I wish for some CDs.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue May 22, 2018 4:44 am UTC

Granted. Your house is filled with the entire inventory of CD Baby. You hear a knock on the door. There is a black SUV parked outside, and two men in dark suits at the front door. They have questions for you.

I wish that the wish-granting genie has a wonderful day, and that xe remembers my wish when next I wish for something from xir.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Tue May 29, 2018 7:16 am UTC

Wish granted, congratulations. You no longer have to fear the ire of this genie. However, xe has been kidnapped and another malicious genie has come to take xir place.

I wish for fewer hurricanes and more tropical depressions.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Jun 01, 2018 1:15 pm UTC

granted, you can never order anotherhurricane, and every time you're in the tropics you get depressed.

I wish that I did not have gastroenteritis.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:36 am UTC

Granted, you died so your disease died too

I wish I had a hug.
← approximately how gay I am.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 9:45 am UTC

Granted, but the other person doesn't let go and it makes you very uncomfortable.

I wish I could try any food I wanted.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emlightened » Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:25 pm UTC

Granted. You lose all taste, and therefore feel like you could eat anything.

I wish I could predict how my wishes would be corrupted.
← approximately how gay I am.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:31 pm UTC

Granted. This game becomes boring so you don't want to play any more.

I wish I could look different each day.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Tue Jun 05, 2018 1:00 pm UTC

Granted, some days you are too small or too tall making life difficult.

I wish my phone was faster.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sableagle » Tue Jun 05, 2018 3:00 pm UTC

Your phone accelerates to 0.95c, causing widespread property damage that is only reported by media based in cities where you weren't.

I wish Maria would "punish me for my wicked ways" by magically transforming me into a perfectly healthy (and at least moderately attractive) 22-ish-year-old woman and finding me a new job, as in the plot of Cursed!.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:20 am UTC

Granted. Literally. You are employed as a stunt person in one of the many re-shoots that Cursed! entailed; the part calls for you to be placed into a casket and buried alive, only to be dug up later, just in time. In another of the many arguments during the shooting, they omit the digging-up scene, and you remain six feet under.

I wish the wasps' nest in the bushes by the deck disappeared, killing the wasps and taking them with it.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Wed Jun 20, 2018 4:07 am UTC

Granted. Instead of wasps, your garden now has several hundred scorpions wandering around to protect it from pests.

I wish for a trolly corruption.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jun 20, 2018 4:07 pm UTC

Granted.
Spoiler:
trolley_from_IMG_3341.JPG
trolley corruption
trolley_from_IMG_3341.JPG (24.27 KiB) Viewed 1546 times


OTT redundancy:
Spoiler:
Image


I wish I could control the weather simply by wishing.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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marionic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Tue Jun 26, 2018 12:55 pm UTC

Granted, but the wishes must be in this thread and therefore will be corrupted.

I wish I were a wizard.
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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:37 pm UTC

granted.

i wish i had a functional time machine capable of going forward & backward in time, to places and times as I determine. OK, so a TARDIS. I want a TARDIS.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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