Misquote-a-Wish!

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OrbitalFacePalm9001
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby OrbitalFacePalm9001 » Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:36 am UTC

dzamie wrote:I wish Fox News make more All Your Base Are Belong To Us news reports.


Granted. No one had a chance to survive make their time.

I wish for budder.
>implying that you can't greentext on xkcd forums

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:39 pm UTC

dzamie wrote:I wish Fox songs would be even sillier.

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!?!?!?!


i wish for that trend to be erased from existence.
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dzamie
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dzamie » Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:41 pm UTC

OrbitalFacePalm9001 wrote:I wish for blubber.

Granted. You now appear to be morbidly obese, but can survive at low temperatures.

I wish Tomlidich the second had responded to the correct post.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Sat Dec 28, 2013 7:30 pm UTC

dzamie wrote:I wish for that trend Tomlidich talked about to be erased from existence.

Granted. It now goes, 'what does dzamie say?'

I wish that aeroplanes could fly under water.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Dec 30, 2013 10:42 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that dzamie could fly under syrup.

granted. high on some sick lsd, dzamie goes swimming. in a vat of syrup. with much confusion as to how he got in there in the first place, the canadian maple syrup factory owners tut a bit about his presence and apologize profusely that they don't have any towels for him.

i wish to know why dzamie is high on lsd and how he got in a vat of syrup. was he drugged? is he a spy? who knows?!?!
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Mon Feb 03, 2014 3:11 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish to know why dzamie is low emotionally and how he got in a vat of depressing blues. Was he mugged? Is he bipolar? Who knows?!?!.

Granted. You realize why and become just as depressed knowing that all of your life's contributions secretly went nowhere.

I wish I had some bananacheesewaybread to feed my pet monkey mouse elf.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:36 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish I had some balugachefweighbread to feed my pet monkey mouse elf.

Granted, your chef responsible for making bread out of beluga whales weighs out a sample for your pet. Unfortunately green peace riots outside your home.

I wish for a bagel.
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dzamie
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dzamie » Tue Feb 04, 2014 5:04 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for a bay gull.

Granted, you now have a white avian flapping madly about in your home.

I wish to delay Half-Life 3.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:31 pm UTC

dzamie wrote:I wish to delay Half of Life until im three.

granted, half of your life experiences have already passed you by; you only had the opportunities when you were 3.

I wish bagel was pronounced differently.
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Earthling on Mars
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Earthling on Mars » Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:53 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish doughnut was pronounced differently.

Granted; it's now "dog-nut".

I wish I had a quantum computer.

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dzamie
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dzamie » Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:34 pm UTC

Earthling on Mars wrote:I wish I had a quantum particle.

Granted, it's currently near your hand. Don't try to find it, or it might stop existing.

I wish I had half a piece of paper.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Feb 07, 2014 9:17 pm UTC

dzamie wrote:I wish I had a half ass piece of paper.

Granted, you are given a mushy, soggy, clump of wood fiber.

I wish you knew how to make your own paper from that.
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Earthling on Mars
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Earthling on Mars » Thu Apr 17, 2014 1:23 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish you knew how to make your own ape from that.

Granted. A mushy, soggy, clump of wood fiber shaped like an ape.

I wish I had a time machine.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Apr 17, 2014 2:07 pm UTC

Earthling on Mars wrote:I wish I lost a time machine.

Granted. You lost it somewhere in the 17'th century.

I wish there were more posters in the corrupt a wish topics.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Whizbang
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Thu Apr 17, 2014 2:23 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:I wish there were more posters in the misquote-a-wish topic.


Granted! I have now joined the Misquote-a-wish topic! Also, you now love all the men in this universe.

I wish I could make anything work by banging my fist on it, like Fonzie.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Apr 17, 2014 2:59 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish I could make anything work by banging it.

Granted. Making a grinder work gets very painful.

I wish I had a Galaxy S5
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Whizbang
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Thu Apr 17, 2014 5:15 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:I wish I was more like Whizbang


I know, right? If only you could be so awesome as me. Unfortunately, that would require you spending all day on the Internet, not contributing to society in any meaningful way. Tell you what, just ask yourself, "What would Whizbang do(wwwd)?" and you'll be alright. (P.S. The answer is always "Mess around on Internet forums").

I wish I could play the guitar.

P.P.S. I also like messing around in Excel, as long as it has no resemblance to actual work.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:23 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
I wish I could play the gutter.

P.P.S. I also like messing around in axle, as long as it has no resemblance to actual work.


Granted, you rip the axle out of your neighbors car and drum out a beat on the gutter in front of your house. the police promptly arrest you.

I wish for dildos.
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dzamie
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dzamie » Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:18 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for dillos.

Several thousand armadillos fall on your house.

I wish I had a rival.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

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Whizbang
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Tue Apr 22, 2014 3:23 pm UTC

dzamie wrote:I wish I had a revolver.


Granted. You now have a Smith and Wesson.

I wish I had infinite wishes.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:05 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish I had infinite dishes.

Granted, it is always your night to wash them, and they ALWAYS have stuck on cheese.

I wish for millions of pills.
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Rhombic
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Rhombic » Tue Apr 22, 2014 8:42 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish I had four millions of lemon peels.


Granted! Clean them up now.

I wish I could throw up through my ears whenever I wanted to.

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Whizbang
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:37 pm UTC

Rhombic wrote:I wish I could throw up through my arse whenever I wanted to.


Granted.

I wish that, no matter how cloudy, there is always 3-foot diameter circle of sunshine around me.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:25 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish that, no matter how clouty, there is always 3-foot diameter circle of succubus around me.

Granted, succubi won't get off of you, no matter how important you insist you are.


I wish for an m1 abrams tank driven by clowns.
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dzamie
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dzamie » Fri Apr 25, 2014 1:42 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for Emanual Abrams-Hank's drivel with Downs.

Granted, you now possess a poorly-written autobiography about life with Downs Syndrome.

I wish for a cup of water.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Apr 25, 2014 5:19 pm UTC

dzamie wrote:I wish for a tub of waiter.

Granted, the police wonder why you have the chopped up remains of a waiter from your local restauraunt in your tub.

I wish for supreme beings from my home planet to take me with them.
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RollingHead
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby RollingHead » Sat Apr 26, 2014 5:33 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for supreme beings from home depot to take me with them.

Granted, enjoy your shopping.

I wish for fresh cherry tomatoes.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:23 pm UTC

RollingHead wrote:
Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for supreme beings from home depot to take me with them.

Granted, enjoy your shopping.


I am OK with this.


RollingHead wrote:I wish for frat beerrry tomatoes.

Granted, you find some, ah, what appears to have once been a tomato in the middle of a frat house. It has been thrown, stepped on, had beer spilled on it, along with other sticky substances you cannot, and don't want to identify. You are fairly confident eating it would be a poor health choice.


I wish for promiscuity.
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Yablo
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Fri May 09, 2014 11:55 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for prop comedy.

Granted. You receive a lifetime membership in Carrot Top's fan club. This entitles you to front row tickets and backstage passes anytime he does a show within a 100 mile radius of your home town, an actual prop from one of his shows (with certificate of authenticity), and a 25% discount on Carrot Top t-shirts.

I wish my town had better restaurants.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon May 19, 2014 11:21 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:
Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for prop comedy.

Granted. You receive a lifetime membership in Carrot Top's fan club. This entitles you to front row tickets and backstage passes anytime he does a show within a 100 mile radius of your home town, an actual prop from one of his shows (with certificate of authenticity), and a 25% discount on Carrot Top t-shirts.



is this a bad thing?

Yablo wrote:
I wish my town had batter restaurants.


Granted, all the restauraunts in your town now only serve uncooked batter for various pastries.

I wish for a better nerdy social hangout in los angeles.
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Platypodes
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Platypodes » Wed May 21, 2014 5:59 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for a better nude social hangout in los angeles.

Granted. Take off your pants.

I wish my laundry would fold itself.
videogamesizzle wrote:so, uh, seen any good arbitrary, high numbers lately?

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed May 21, 2014 6:16 pm UTC

Platypodes wrote:I wish space would fold itself.

It does. Randomly and unexpectedly you start stepping into other dimensions. Now you know how horror writers get their ideas.

I wish I were a god.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Whizbang
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Wed May 21, 2014 6:20 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:I wish I were a dog.


You are now a yapping, toy Mexican hairless.

I wish people didn't take religion so seriously and that discussing it in anything but a friendly and open manner was greatly frowned upon by society.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed May 21, 2014 9:01 pm UTC

Platypodes wrote:
Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for a better nude social hangout in los angeles.

Granted. Take off your pants.

*shrugs*


Whizbang wrote:
I wish people didn't take relish so seriously and that discussing it in anything but a friendly and open manner was greatly frowned upon by society.


Granted, the entire relish industry fails as a whole because noone takes it seriously. they all blame you for the loss of revenue from chopped up canned pickle products.


I wish Whizbang had a place to hide.
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Platypodes
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Platypodes » Fri May 30, 2014 10:52 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish to give Whizbang a piece of my mind.


You harangue Whizbang about religion for a while, but the forum mods eventually tell you to knock it off.

I wish I had a grilled cheese sandwich.
videogamesizzle wrote:so, uh, seen any good arbitrary, high numbers lately?

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chridd
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby chridd » Sat May 31, 2014 2:03 am UTC

Platypodes wrote:I wish you had a grilled cheese sandwich.
I also wish that I had a grilled cheese sandwich.
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mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...
flicky1991 wrote:In both cases the quote is "I'm being quoted too much!"
chridd (on Discord) wrote:
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Sat May 31, 2014 8:08 am UTC

chridd wrote:
Platypodes wrote:I wish you had a grilled cheese sandwich.
I also wish that I had a grilled chess sandwich.


Granted. You get a sandwich containing small misshapen pieces of horsemeat and chunks of human flesh shaped like castle towers. All grilled to perfection.

I wish pizza was square for more efficient storage.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Platypodes
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Platypodes » Sun Jun 01, 2014 12:42 am UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish I was square for more efficient storage.


Granted. Now you can travel by mail in a cardboard box. You save a fortune on airfare.

I wish politicians weren't corrupt.
videogamesizzle wrote:so, uh, seen any good arbitrary, high numbers lately?

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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Mon Jun 02, 2014 3:13 am UTC

Platypodes wrote:I wish politicians weren't correct.


Granted. They try to declare a nuclear war on Iran and Iraq under the slogan "Kick their ass and take their gas".

I wish oranges grew on trees year-round instead of just 1 season.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Whizbang
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Wed Jun 04, 2014 2:28 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish orangutans threw poo on me year-round instead of just 1 season.


Granted.

I wish the next poster in this thread would misquote me.


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