xkcd

by **blademan9999** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:02 am UTC

I defend with love.
I attack with deathstars.

by **Evengeduld** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:22 am UTC

I defend with bomb in small hole...

I attack with rocky

by **blademan9999** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:27 am UTC

I defend with lasers.
I attack with the Xeelee

by **Evengeduld** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 8:00 am UTC

I defend with duct tape.

I attack with the same tape.

by **AntonGarou** » Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:12 am UTC

I defend with layers of lint

I attack with a sand tornado

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:26 am UTC

I defend with Wade Boggs.

I attack with a rash.

by **thorgold** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:47 am UTC

I defend with aloe.

I attack with a tape measure.

by **Evengeduld** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:21 am UTC

I defend with paper shredder

I attack with Turtles (not teenage mutant ninja ones, just turtles)

by **TaylorP** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:59 pm UTC

I defend by casually walking away (turtles be slow!!).

I attack with a letter opener.

by **Poopenheimer** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:10 pm UTC

*I defend by putting a parcel in the way.*

*I attack NP with a C4 and jelly sandwich*

by **Sean Quixote** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:56 am UTC

I defend with blast-resistant peanut butter.

I attack with a broken bottle.

by **thorgold** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:00 am UTC

I defend with a recycling bin.

I attack with an oddly misshapen penny.

by **Evengeduld** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:17 am UTC

my turtles have evolved to

MUTANT ONES (not teenage ninja yet) I use them to defend and attack

by **AntonGarou** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:20 am UTC

I defend with a wallet

I attack with a door

by **Poopenheimer** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:19 am UTC

I defend with the same door by locking it.

I attack using only a compass and a straight edge.

by **TaylorP** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:38 pm UTC

I defend with no friends.

I attack with a pogo stick.

by **more_people** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:11 pm UTC

I defend with Zingo Bingo

I attack with Criss Angel.

by **The Sandvich** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:24 am UTC

i defend with a hidden mine

i attack with windows me

by **Evengeduld** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:45 am UTC

I defend with power button

I attack with Teenage Mutant Turtles (not ninja yet

)

by **iroZn** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:48 am UTC

I defend by distracting them with pizza!

I attack with my telekinetic powers!

by **Evengeduld** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:53 am UTC

Pizza made them Ninja

I defend and attack with TMNT...

by **more_people** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:44 am UTC

I defend with TMNT poison.

I attack with Achmed, The Dead Terrorist.

by **The Sandvich** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 7:33 am UTC

i defend with Walter

i attack with Bruce Schneier

by **more_people** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:11 am UTC

I defend with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I attack with Guiter Guy.

by **Sean Quixote** » Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:01 am UTC

I devenge, sevenfold.

I attack with The Dude.

by **xkcd follower** » Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:01 am UTC

I defend with The Babe!!!

I launch a simple bouncy ball with a high explosive inside it at the NP!!

by **Sean Quixote** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 1:30 am UTC

I defend with a tennis racket.

I attack at your balls with racquetballs.

by **merelydicta** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:18 pm UTC

I defend with a groin-guard.

I attack with the same groin-guard.

by **Kromix** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 6:37 pm UTC

i defend with your face making you lick the groin guard thoroughly.

i attack with a floppy donkey fleshy appendage.!!!

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:15 pm UTC

Shoot, I defend with hedge clippers.

Hell, I'll attack with 'em, too.

by **Kromix** » Thu Sep 22, 2011 2:44 pm UTC

I defend with garden rocks

i attack with sharp papyrus

by **merelydicta** » Fri Sep 23, 2011 1:56 am UTC

I defend with a Pharaoh's scribe.

I attack with The View.

by **Kromix** » Fri Sep 23, 2011 1:30 pm UTC

i defent with Bill O'reilly

I attack with obama's shovel ready jobs!!! o wait, there are none... umm... i attack with a make-belief shovel!

by **Sean Quixote** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 12:48 am UTC

I defend with the imaginary ground.

I attack with Chuck... Norris...

by **merelydicta** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 1:34 am UTC

I defend with Bruce Schneier...because he's just that much of a Man.

I attack with Bruce Campbell.

by **Evengeduld** » Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:07 am UTC

I defend with poorly written scripts and production errors

I attack with Squid Cannon

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Sep 28, 2011 2:29 am UTC

I defend with Squidward Quincy Tentacles.

I attack with commercials.

by **merelydicta** » Wed Sep 28, 2011 8:44 am UTC

I defend with as seen on tv commercials.

I attack with as seen on tv products.

by **Sean Quixote** » Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:22 am UTC

I defend with the ghost of Billy Mays.

I attack with the Ding King.

by **CorruptUser** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 1:13 am UTC

I defend with a shotgun tank round

I attack with that also