xkcd

by **ShortChelsea** » Tue May 29, 2012 1:00 am UTC

You get sweet potato french fries. Ew.
I put in my boyfriend's undies.

by **brakos82** » Tue May 29, 2012 2:30 am UTC

You also get sweet potato french fries, just because you went "eww" to them.

I put a diet coke, yogurt, and nail polish in the machine.

by **ShortChelsea** » Tue May 29, 2012 4:45 pm UTC

You get back a bigger diet coke can filled with yogurt that has the words, "I hate yogurt," scrawled across it in nail polish.
I put in a cell phone charger.

by **Odilo** » Tue May 29, 2012 9:14 pm UTC

You get a dead cell phone.

I put in pi and the gravitational constant.

by **brakos82** » Tue May 29, 2012 9:46 pm UTC

You are now subject to pi G.

I put a pig in the machine.

by **Odilo** » Wed May 30, 2012 7:18 am UTC

You get bacon.

I put in $1.75.

by **ShortChelsea** » Wed May 30, 2012 3:47 pm UTC

You get an actual candy bar and a pack of gum.
I put in half of the above user's candy bar.

by **eculc** » Wed May 30, 2012 5:02 pm UTC

you get a clone of odilo's avatar.

by **Odilo** » Wed May 30, 2012 8:36 pm UTC

I put in season 4 of Battlestar Galactica.

by **eculc** » Wed May 30, 2012 9:13 pm UTC

you get someone who forgot to put something in the vending machine =/

I put in a DVD set of firefly.

by **Sean Quixote** » Thu May 31, 2012 5:10 am UTC

You get a VHS set of The X Files.

I put a duck in the machine.

by **brakos82** » Thu May 31, 2012 5:21 am UTC

You get a scolding from the other thread about spreading your duckiness.

I put in the remote control for a dead TV.

by **ShortChelsea** » Thu May 31, 2012 4:31 pm UTC

You get out a fully functional, wireless xbox 360 controller.
I put in a diamond necklace.

by **Odilo** » Thu May 31, 2012 7:26 pm UTC

You get a lump of coal.

I put in the toy sailboat I got from a Kinder Egg.

by **ShortChelsea** » Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:54 pm UTC

The paper sailboat from It comes out of the vending machine door in a flood of water.
I put in an angry man.

by **eculc** » Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:28 pm UTC

you get a beaker full of molten lead. it burns your hand if you try to pick it up.

I put in 32768 pennies.

by **ShortChelsea** » Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:53 pm UTC

You get a note saying, "Sorry, sir, we don't take more than a dollar's worth of pennies here."
I put in an American flag.

by **eculc** » Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:07 pm UTC

you get a russian flag.

I put in 32768 dollar bills.

by **Odilo** » Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:44 pm UTC

You get a pack of Skittles. The vending machine eats your change.

I put in something that's almost, but not quite, completely unlike tea.

by **eculc** » Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:46 pm UTC

you get a towel and a book of vogon poetry.

I put in an integer overflow error.

by **Mike Rosoft** » Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:06 pm UTC

You get NaN.

I put in a dossier labeled "Secret Plans for World Domination".

by **darknut** » Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:34 pm UTC

apparently you didnt learn your lesson in the penny thread
i shove mike to the ground, when he tries to get up i shove him down again
the machine looks on in silence

by **Odilo** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:08 am UTC

I put in sleep.

by **flicky1991** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:36 am UTC

You receive the ability to swap hands with anyone you meet.

I put in all the dust from under my bed.

by **ShortChelsea** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 3:53 pm UTC

The vending machine coughs out all of its dust back onto you.
I put in a colon.

by **eculc** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:31 pm UTC

you get either a semicolon or a pancreas, depending on which colon you put in.

I put $20 and my self-respect in the machine.

by **Pjotr** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:21 am UTC

You get your $20 back.

I put in a $E D&D handbook

by **ShortChelsea** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:42 pm UTC

You get Lawsome's self-respect, even though he isn't in the room with the vending machine and ten two dollar bills.
I put in a marine.

by **flicky1991** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:32 pm UTC

You receive Marine the Raccoon.

I put in football. Not the object, the game itself.

by **eculc** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:42 pm UTC

you get football. the OTHER football.

I put in a lump of melted green plastic.

by **flicky1991** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:15 pm UTC

The plastic returns to you, shaped into a scale replica of the Statue of Liberty.

I put in 5 years of my life.

by **ShortChelsea** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:04 pm UTC

You get back the three years some lady has wasted away on some guy.
I put in my hunger.

by **brakos82** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:26 pm UTC

You get sweet potato fries. The machine chuckles.

I put in bacon.

by **bug sniper** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:54 am UTC

You get an angry Jew.

I insert an infrared camera, on a cable, hooked up to a TV screen, and powered on.

by **flicky1991** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:25 am UTC

You get back some very disturbing footage involving a man and three cats.

I put in a lost Shakespeare play.

by **ShortChelsea** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:09 pm UTC

You get back a lost Bacon play.
I put in a strongly worded letter about sweet potato fries.

by **Mike Rosoft** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:56 pm UTC

You get ordinary potato fries and a package of sugar labeled "salt".

I put in a number -1, torn into pieces.

by **flicky1991** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:07 pm UTC

You get a collection of quaternions.

I put in Putin.

by **bug sniper** » Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:37 am UTC

You get some Russian guy who mocks your "ignorance of Russian identity."

I insert the hook of a slippery crane, and then hoist it up. By the way, the next poster will have to climb up that crane if he wants to insert something.

by **Pjotr** » Thu Jun 07, 2012 8:39 am UTC

I ask Rogue (of the X-men) to unhook the machine and put it back down again, then insert a dirty fantasy.

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