Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

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mathmannix
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Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby mathmannix » Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:09 pm UTC

good question.jpg

This is my favorite of the myriad questions of comic #1256, and after coming up with several explanations on my own, I hereby propose a game where each post answers the question differently. I'll go first:

1. Because ectoplasm, like DNA, decays over time. You will rarely see any ghosts more than five hundred years old, due to ectoplasmic degradation. So, just like the horribly sad truth that dinosaurs will [probably] never be cloned, their ghosts are also gone forever.
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Nylonathatep » Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:12 pm UTC

2. Because your ghost touches itself at night.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby orangedragonfire » Thu Aug 29, 2013 7:21 pm UTC

3. There are no ghosts at all.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby mathmannix » Thu Aug 29, 2013 7:23 pm UTC

4. Mastodon ghostbusters
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby orangedragonfire » Thu Aug 29, 2013 7:36 pm UTC

5. There were a lot of dinosaurs. This implies that there must be a lot of dinosaur ghosts; so many in fact that they would completely fill up the entire space surrounding earth... hmmm... OH GOD, THERE IS NO AIR! IT'S ALL DINOSAUR GHOSTS!

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby dudiobugtron » Thu Aug 29, 2013 9:53 pm UTC

6. Because there were no dinosaurs.
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Thu Aug 29, 2013 11:48 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:1. Because ectoplasm, like DNA, decays over time. You will rarely see any ghosts more than five hundred years old, due to ectoplasmic degradation. So, just like the horribly sad truth that dinosaurs will [probably] never be cloned, their ghosts are also gone forever.


7. They're not gone forever. The ghosts died and became meta-ghosts, which haunt ghosts but are even less visible to the living.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."


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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:27 am UTC

9: The dinosaurs' souls are all in heaven due to following raptor Jesus.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby orangedragonfire » Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:38 am UTC

10. Because Science said so.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby dudiobugtron » Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:57 am UTC

11. Because dinosaurs were more rational than humans, and so didn't believe in ghosts.
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby orangedragonfire » Fri Aug 30, 2013 2:00 am UTC

12. Because dinosaurs were not capable of complex thought, and so didn't believe in ghosts.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby dudiobugtron » Fri Aug 30, 2013 2:18 am UTC

13. Because legends about ghosts are created by humans, and are therefore unsurprisingly anthro-centric.

Spoiler:
Or is it 'bad form' to put the real reason? :)
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby orangedragonfire » Fri Aug 30, 2013 2:25 am UTC

Spoiler:
Nope :)


14. Dinosaur ghosts live backwards in time.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Nylonathatep » Fri Aug 30, 2013 3:57 am UTC

All the Ghost dinosaurs evolved to birds.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby orangedragonfire » Fri Aug 30, 2013 4:28 am UTC

16. The dinosaurs reincarnated as turtles.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby mathmannix » Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:08 pm UTC

17. Because a time-travelling Jennifer Love Hewitt has already let them all cross over into the light.
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby dudiobugtron » Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:39 pm UTC

18. Because Yuna performed a sending for them.
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Sat Aug 31, 2013 3:09 pm UTC

19. Dinosaur's souls are very tiny, so they are hard to spot.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Vytron » Sat Aug 31, 2013 5:52 pm UTC

20. Dinosaur Ghosts lived forwards in time, but evolved backwards, so they evolved into Archosaur Ghosts, Primitive Reptile Ghosts, Primitive Amphibian Ghosts, Primitive Fish Ghosts, Eukaryote Ghosts, Bacteria Ghosts, Protocell Ghosts, and are currently in a stage of Molten Rock Ghosts continuing their evolution into UV Light Ghosts.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby dudiobugtron » Sat Aug 31, 2013 7:27 pm UTC

21. Because dinosaurs aren't dead, just frozen.
And as soon as we find the cure for meteors, we're gonna thaw out the dino's and they're gonna be pretty pissed off.
You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiple that by 65 million times; that's how pissed off the Dinosaurs're gonna be.
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Vytron » Sat Aug 31, 2013 8:29 pm UTC

22. Because Dinosaurs are immortal. The Hollow Earth Theory is correct, dinosaurs just moved to live on the inside of the planet, and planted fake dinosaur bones in the surface so we didn't suspect a thing.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby thecamoninja » Sat Aug 31, 2013 8:30 pm UTC

23. There are dinosaur ghosts. We just prefer to call them petrolium. Now the dinosaur ghosts are coming back in gaseous form and fucking up our environment because we keep burning them.
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby orangedragonfire » Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:45 am UTC

24. There were dinosaur ghosts. They got annoying, so we gathered them all up, and shipped them to the moon. Why else do you think we wanted to go to a desolate rock floating in space?

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby mathmannix » Tue Sep 03, 2013 12:49 pm UTC

25. There were never such things as dinosaurs. Or mastodons. Or Vikings. Any "history" (and "fossils") older than c. 1885 is part of the simulation.
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Vytron » Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:37 pm UTC

26. Dinosaur Ghosts existed for a while, unfortunately, the Toba supervolcanic eruption that happened 72,000 years ago, which caused an 8 years global volcanic winter, led to the extinction of the Dinosaur Ghosts.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby orangedragonfire » Wed Sep 04, 2013 3:00 pm UTC

They were all shipped to a secret island where Disney intends to use them an main attraction in an amusement park.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby mathmannix » Wed Sep 04, 2013 3:23 pm UTC

28. They were ritually sealed by the ancient Egyptian priest-kings, after they kept pestering the excavation sites necessary for pyramid construction. Just don't say "Tyrannosaurus rex" three times in a row during a total lunar eclipse on Halloween...

orangedragonfire wrote:They were all shipped to a secret island where Disney intends to use them an main attraction in an amusement park.


I for one would definitely go to see the Haunted Jurassic Mansion attraction/ride.
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Vytron » Wed Sep 04, 2013 3:30 pm UTC

29. They all cryogenically froze themselves as means of preservation. It's unknown to when they set the date of their unfreezing, but the fact is dinosaur ghosts will be back in the future.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby dudiobugtron » Wed Sep 04, 2013 7:01 pm UTC

30. Someone rebooted the dinosaur server. (xkcd reference.)
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Vytron » Wed Sep 04, 2013 7:03 pm UTC

31. All the Dinosaur Ghosts reincarnated into humans.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Earthling on Mars » Wed Sep 04, 2013 8:20 pm UTC

32. Just as human ghosts only haunt humans, dinosaur ghosts only haunt dinosaurs. There are no dinosaurs left for them to haunt, thus no dinosaur ghosts.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Lawsome » Wed Sep 04, 2013 8:26 pm UTC

33) There was a ghost meteorite.
Spoiler:
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Vytron » Wed Sep 04, 2013 8:50 pm UTC

34) We did something really offensive to the dinosaur ghosts, so in rage they quit the planet and moved somewhere else.

Spoiler:
Lawsome wrote:33) There was a ghost meteorite.


Hahaha! Hilarious! Would even want to use the

/Thread

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Earthling on Mars » Wed Sep 04, 2013 9:31 pm UTC

35. The Originals built a bomb in the animal capitol to blow up the ghost world.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby Vytron » Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:21 pm UTC

36. They exist, actually, dinosaur ghosts are the only kind of ghosts that exist, it's just that when they died, they lost their dinosaur shape. And people become dinosaurs when they die.

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby faubiguy » Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:11 am UTC

37. There are. Haven't you seen them?

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby firesoul31 » Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:19 am UTC

38. Because they're so old, they've compressed into ghost oil (or natural gas).
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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby faubiguy » Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:37 am UTC

39. They were domesticated by early humans, resulting in cats (somehow).

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Re: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?

Postby commodorejohn » Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:43 am UTC

"'Legacy code' often differs from its suggested alternative by actually working and scaling."
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